[waves]

Hiho folks!

well this year between this and that illness and misadventure and brain chemicals and iatrogenic issues, i had been depressed for a good while.

I stopped the Topamax which seemed to be giving me brief but bad (otherwise unexplained) depressive swings. I was told not to alter the Zoloft at the same time but i was forgetful so i ended up having less of it, and since i felt "ok" or a little better, we chose to reduce to 75. Doc said i was having a reaction to being depressed for so long. Today he changed his tune.

Well my mood has gradually swung to the other side. Now having to watch the spending, gorging on chocolate... (impulse control issues). Of significance, both parents have remarked my recent agitation / being overexcited. Today my pdoc seemed thoroughly amused the entire session and adjusted my meds again (less zoloft - i will be on a minimal dose). He said if things seem to progress more, since i wont' see him next week, to reduce it more... well ain't much more reducing i can do except stop LOL.

Things still seem mild enough to me... the only downside really being i get distracted and have a lot of confusion in my head (too many projects/goals) and end up weird places because i space out whenver i go out - was half an hour late for therapy last week because of it - OOOPS! Oh and insomnia prolly for same reason. getting abotu 3-4 hours a night, get tired bouts but then too agitated to sleep...

But, all in all it is such a relief to experience this energy and positive mood. i may have to hand over all spending material but for a 10 or so to the folks... prollem is i still want to get something for dad... no idea what or when... making a novel project won't be ready in time. also helping with computer but i want something ... something i dunno...

i have been going out much more between getting stuff and appts. i just love this season for the colors normally but the cold hit suddenly so the trees did not do a very colorful thing... they barely had time to react before their leaves all dropped off...

but i have scarves ... and i am making up for it by wearing the colors of the trees in fall... haha... i see way too many people already in dark "winter uniforms" due to the snowfall.... almost see it as a mission to go out and liven up the scenery with bright and warm glows of burgundy red orange and gold, YES!

~ waves ~

see but i am making sense. i am not a goner.

[butterfly11]

sorry to hear about the hypomania waves. I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight. Sounds like your pdoc has a plan, that's good. You are always so informative and helpful. I wish I could think of something helpful to say.

I think fall colors are beautiful. I hope you figure out a present for your dad!

[bizi]

HI waves thanks for checking in. good to hear from you.
keep us posted here with your moods so we can help keep an eye on you if you want us to that is.
be careful!
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Mari]

Hi, Waves,

I appreciate your color design.
It is great to see you.

Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

M

[butterfly11]

thinking of you and hoping things are getting better

[waves]

Hi all,

i appreciate the kind messages....

I was good with the hypomania though... A nice, pure, not mixed, hypomania around now does a soul good imho. esp one that's been depressed for too long!!! Did not want it to go away - just not escalate).

BUT.

migraines hit. 3 days worth. pills fixed the pain part but not other sx.

either the meds or the migraines per se sucked the energy out of me for one. i wound up passed otu most of past 3 days. also the pills do not fix the sound and light sensitivity. my lovely mom has been totally insensitive to that! not good for migraine escalation/recurrence, and not good for mood. i wanted to lash out at her so bad today when she came home and even though i had opened the blinds enough for the plants during the day and slept with shades on etc. she scoffed and turned on a white light right in my face, without warning. For her plants. I mean, she comes home when its nearly dark and has a freakin cow. It was light in here before. Its freakin winter. At that rate next time i'll leave the dang room totally dark instead of trying to be convivial if that's even a word.

Yeah.... i feel less "happy" now... more like pretty irascible. prolly good thing all that excess sleep chilled some of the energy, or else.

bottom line: i'd like my nice, pure, sweet, hypomania back please. with the energy.

heck. we'll see what happens if i don't get another headache today (it's ACK!!!! it's 8:25) i have to go pretend to sleep now, i woke up at 3 am...... feeling better.... will have to "wake up" at a "normal" time ... sheez.

times like this i miss living alone. at least having own room where i can control the lights/tv/noise to some degree. what mother prefers plants health over daughter's you tell me.

~ waves ~

[Mari]

Hi, Waves,

Originally Posted by waves

Hi all,

what mother prefers plants health over daughter's you tell me.

~ waves ~

Argh!! Not nice. I wish you darkness when you want it, light when you want it, and quiet.
Gah. We are so sensitive. All this sensitivity could be harnessed. Imagine the strength of that?

M

[butterfly11]

waves - As I was reading your post I thought you were going to say that she started vacuuming. I was about to come unglued.

Sorry she doesn't understand the magnitude to which migraines amplify things. Hope you are feeling better soon.

[bizi]

I hope you are feeling better now.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Mari]

Good Christmas, Waves!



Mari