today not so bad all meds on board. i think it will take a bout 1 week for them to get back in my system. and fully working again. no more will i go with out my meds. what a mess. now i don't feel so bad taking that handful of pills. i know what for and how it will effect me if i don't. tried listening to music but it makes me think too much to many emotions i am in a happy up beat tempo mood for music right now. no r.e.m. or even cold play to melow. well family is doing great hubby at work. sometimes i feel like if i had a real job other than being a mom a paying job i might be so busy that it wouldn't matter how i feel, i think that's how i dealt with it for so long . i was just so busy being a fulltime mom and had a fultime job it all just blended the time together. no time for me to feel. i try to over analyse(sp). everything. the past the futre and now. try to find meaning in it all. i guess that's why i used to write maybe i'll start a journal again. i had one for a long time but it got read when i was about 17 by my parents and well just never trusted anyone not to read it since so no journal. maybe i need more meds? or dif meds? my tn is doing reat i think the surg was a success but still have a few more weeks to go to call it a success. maybe that's part of my problem i did have brain surg. or technicaly a craniotomy. so that could have something to do with me not knowing who i realy am any more. mom/wife/32yrold. too simple for me i need a more complex description of my self and soul. is there a heaven is there a god or is this some cruel joke we've all been played? just wondering out loud. sorry probably should go-shelly

I am happy for you sunny day!
I wish you many more of these!
hang in there and know that you are wonderful for just being you.
Try to not be too analytical and I think journalling again is a fine idea!
bizi

Shelly,
I'm so glad that you had a not so bad day.
And yes, taking the meds can help.

I don't listen to music much either. I don't know why. I find it annoying somehow.

It's ok to write a journal now. You don't have to worry about your parents finding it!!
Actually when I kept a journal I was probably weird. I never wrote anything that I would be worried about someone else reading. Sounds dumb maybe. I would either leave stuff out or give hints that only I knew what I was talking about -- hey I was young!!

Journalling is supposed to help with mood. I even saw a study that it can help with weight loss. ....probably other things too.
My prob is that I pick up a book to write in and then loose it eventually. So then I find an older book and pick up writing where I see clean pages...Or else I buy a brand new book.
Duh. Maybe I could journal on the computer. Oh yeah. I do that on-line. Here.

OK. Sorry to wonder/ramble around.
I think I am trying to figure out how to get myself to do journalling agin.

It's ok to be confused. You've been through a lot. Take your time. Be patient with yourself.
I think that some of us people with bipolar are kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

Believe in yourself. That's what kept me going. I believed that the effort was would be worth it.

M.

hello i think i will start writting again. it could help me figure out things on paper to day is better feeling more like my old self. tired but ok. my puppy kept me up last night. like having a baby. wonderful yet tireing. i guess this is sort of like a journal but every one can read it. i used to write all the time. short stories and poems. i was top in my class. at that other wise i was a medioccur(sp) studend. i hated high school, but loved college but did not finish yet!!!!! i will as soon as i can now what do i want to be when i grow up? just kiding. i have about three yrs worth of a psych degree. i guess that's part of my problem i think too much. i know just enough to make my self crazy. haha. went out to breakfast with the hubby this am had a nice time we hardly ever get time alone now he's studying for work. inbetween watching tv and laundry i should have a nice afternoon. no kids.-shelly

Having an outlet is essential. Writing, theater, movies.....whatever. Got to have that one thing that shuts down the swirling inside one's head.

Mine is music. LOL Can't get enough. I am constantly playing something.

And my garden. Everything just stops when I am with my little plants. Time, the bad thoughts, everything.

I hope you will start writing again.