yeah!
glad that you got 9 hours of sleep.
happy for you!
bizi

9 hours, that's great Mari! I hope this is the beginning of a new trend!

Hi,

I informed my boss that I would not be at Saturday's event that starts at 7:30 AM as per my FMLA file in Human Resources.

She emailed back that the file has not been updated since 2010 and that I have to show up at 7:30 AM.

I called the mdoc's office. The service said the office was not picking up the phone. I tried to drive there .... then got into a tremendous traffic jam that went on for (seemingly) ever.

When I got to the mdoc's office it was locked. Two ladies behind the glass doors took pity upon me and sent a fax to Human Resource that said I cannot work Saturday.

Thanks to "belly breathing" and Klonopin right now I am ok and at work for another hour.
I appreciate the "magic" of cell phones so I can join the forum now and try to keep my good senses. Reading and answering posts is helping me. Thanks.
We need more protections for those of us who hold jobs while living with bipolar and other severe mental illness.

M

Hi Mari

OMG... and who knew they needed updating. sheez. what an ordeal with the traffic! happy for you that the ladies helped out, so no 7.30 dealy on Saturday. well done. and yes thank goodness for anxiolytics i'm having to make more use of them lately myself.

sending you some calm vibes..... i wonder if you can do the lake meditation at work. lying down works best but if you have a good chair you could just use it as a visualization exercise rather than embodying the lake.

last night to calm myself, i focused really hard on hearing the sound of shallow ocean waves breaking gently on sand..... coming in.... breaking into foam.... receding..... building.... coming in.... etc. i imagined looking at the shoreline at night while hearing the waves. you can coordinate the breaking of waves with your breaths too... that takes more focus, leaving less room for other invasive "junk." (i didn't go that far - just a thought that came now.)



~ waves ~

Waves,
Probably I was supposed to know that the paper work is good for 12 weeks and then gets updated maybe.
Thank goodness I had just seen the mdoc or the people who opened the door might not have been so helpful after they looked for my chart.

I am going to do the lake thing.

The pain seems that it is in my upper back as well. But I could be too wired up to know what is going on. Also pain in left armpit.
(I had a clear EKG a couple of days ago in mdoc's office. Does that mean anything?)
Can the ER rule out stuff quickly and send me home? Should I look for urgent care places first.
I do know that this a.m. I took my morning dose of 0.5 Klonopin.
At 3:30 pm. I took another 1.0 klonopin -- (usually I do not take afternoon Klonopin at all)

Work buddy suggested I take a small aspirin.
He also told me to drink some very cold water because that can distract or something. I do not really know what he was talking about with that.
There is a hospital I have to pass on my way home.
If I do not feel well when I get to it in 30 mins, I will drive walk myself into the ER.


M

Dear Mari

this pain could well be anxiety. if you've been very stressed the intercostal muscles get tight, even the diaphragm can start hurting. back can hurt too.

1. Do take an aspirin. If the pain is from muscle tightness it will probably ease that. If something serious is going on in terms of heart, the aspirin will not have any effect.

2. Do sip a glass of cool water. I don't like the idea of cold, but that's just me. The swallowing action may be physically helpful. Besides that sipping water can be helpful in many states of psychological distress. It takes us back to basic needs - it's grounding.

3. Do some *gentle* belly breathing. Don't take really big breaths, just allow the air to flow in and out past the diaphragm... that can help physically distend it.

If you do not feel better I agree with going to ER to have them rule anything out. Better safe than sorry and as you say it is on your way home. If you are uncertain or afraid to drive for ANY reason, please get someone to take you.

BE OK.

-----------------------------

Sorry i didn't see your post sooner - your sig reminded me of something else in The Little Prince and I ended up reading the latter half of the book in French. i love many quotes from it... including this one (spoken by the Little Prince):

"When you look at the skies at night ... it will be as though all the stars are laughing."

~ waves ~

That was a very stressful event/glad that the ladies helped you with the fax.
I am anxious for an update if you went to the er or not.
Either way I hope that you are feeling better soon.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi, Ladies,

I went to the ER. I did
EKG
Urine collection
Blood draw
Chest X-ray
-----
Hubby is here even though I told him not to. I am siting on a bed in the ER waiting to be seen by an MD. The nurse told me to tell the doc that I am fine and I want to go home and that he will let me go. The tech doing the EKG said the I was fine as far as he was concerned but that it was up to the doctor.

I feel really uncomfortable ...
Still have pains. Have not had anything to eat since this morning when I had a banana smoothie.
Most importantly, I am late taking my night meds. When I miss the Verapamil by two hours I feel anxious in my chest. I usually take my med at 9:30 or only a little after. It is now 12:30.

------
Doc is comfortable with letting me go. About 75 percent comfortable he says. Two more blood draws spaced out what give him the whole picture.. I can always come back he said if things get worse. I am to follow up with my primary. Hubby got annoying when he asked Dr Cohen what I can do to prevent this.
( hubby thinks I get too caught up in talking to work buddy or others. Needs to find a cause for things.

Thanks.

Dear Mari

thank you for checking in... glad you are ok and doc thinks you are OK enough to go. in any event they've run some tests and those have been clear. you need to get your night meds.

sorry hubby got annoying but i'm still glad he came, in case you needed help. it is reassuring to me that you weren't there alone. he loves you and wants you to be ok too, even if he has annoying ways to go about it.

i hope you are able to sleep well tonight and feel completely well in the morning.



~ waves ~

thank you for checking back in with us. glad that they think you are ok.
hoping that you get back home soon and eat something and of course get some sleep sometime this weekend.
bizi