Derogatory humor that hurts a person may not be illegal,but it's a sin. I'm so sorry that you got hurt.

I was surrounded by people like that at the Supermarket job that I had. I left that job after 13 years,and I was angry. I react suddenly to a remark,or something said to hurt me. I must have had some rage that I pushed down,and repressed. Pinned up anger comes out a little at a time. I'm not sure how to explain this. I hope that you feel better soon. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Waves,

I hope you slept. Accepting the flatness can work, . . .

Hoping Sunday is a good day.

Mari

I hope you were able to sleep, I am sorry you're suffering right now, I think a lot of us are suffering right now, I wonder if its something relating to the season gearing up to change? At any rate I hope you feel better this morning. We love you here waves. Take care! ♥

Thanks for the hugs Donna. Much appreciated :) :hug::hug::hug: to you too.

My mom and I end up at odds many times, but it isn't that she tries to rile me up. And in this case she had no intent of being hurtful or instigatory, she was only voicing concerns.

~ waves ~

Yep, its technically the same with my mom.

She doesn't even realize that she has done that.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

Waves,

'Thinking about you and hoping that Monday is a good day. :heartthrob: :heartthrob: :heartthrob:

I have a question about the timing of these things that they say. Do they usually do it in the evening? Around eating times? Shared time?
Have you recognized a pattern?


M

Ugh, that unique class of Mom's. Sorry it hurt your heart Waves. The Bailey's sounds like it can mend an injured heart. At least warm the soul. :grouphug:

Hi everyone. :grouphug:

First i just want to say it is monday and i am back to feeling fine again. Yesterday i was still iffy, but got better gradually. I saw two episodes of "According to Jim" (undubbed!) before dinner, and laughed and laughed. at that pont i knew i was definitely better. (I think the double dose of Belushi helped. He is amazing.)

Unfortunately i had a "food incident" with dinner (i added too much garlic powder to too many things, i think), and subsequently had a pretty bad night, physically. today, i had my coffee with no problem - a very good sign, but the cold can really do a number on my gut, so, staying home for today. (i was to go to the printshop but i am deferring till tomorrow.)

so now i will respond to some individual posts. But i first wanted to thank all of you who have read, and posted to me, for your precious support. I did read all of your posts and it was heartwarming. I had a hard time with answering at the time, but all of your posts meant a lot to me. It really helps to feel understood.

:grouphug:

~ waves ~

To BIZI
 

Thank you so much, dear Bizi. :heartthrob: :)

And I'll put Bailey's on the list of things with which to toast, if we ever manage to hook up! LOL! :D I love it too. I always gift myself a bottle for Christmas when they put it on special. This Christmas i was a little hypo and bought three bottles - 2 as gifts to my cousins (along with too much chocolate and bunches of other stuff... sigh!)

Coordinating with the cousins was harder than expected due to their travelling most of the time, and in mid-January I gave up on that. At home we'd also had wines of various types to go with different holiday foods, so I'd been drinking more. When i finished my own bottle of Baileys, which took a while, I opened one of "my cousin's." I went through that one lickety split however, which set off big alarm bells! I decided then to put the 3rd bottle in the cellar for next year, but i dislike going down there, so it sat around for a week unopened... until last night.

Kind of having a general issue right now, because dad, who really shouldn't drink, and can get habitual about it, is now requesting a steady supply of the "holiday" port, and came home with a white wine the other day too. I am not happy for me or for him to have a steady supply of alcohol at home right now. I need to be dry for a couple weeks, after which I will be ok going back to my occasional drink. I was starting to drink too often... once i get that way, if it's available it can really escalate. Dad is worse - he is in total denial about his attraction to alcohol, so there is no controlling what he buys, and trying to talk to him is useless (unless one desires to be insulted, or worse, blamed for his "use" - to call a spade a spade).

That said... I am glad I had the Bailey's around that night. Nobody else touches Baileys, so I wasn't going to get yelled at the next day, as I would had I had any of the other things available. Plus I love Irish coffee beyond it's relaxing effect. ;) It was comforting. (now heating up the plain baileys was a waste of baileys... as far as taste or comfort goes. that part was pure "use" ... spades again. :o

Now this bottle is open though, i shall have to be very careful. :o

(((((hugs)))))

~ waves ~

To Steve
 

Dear Steve,

Thank you for your kind thoughts. :hug::hug::hug:

Perhaps I did not come across clearly in previous posts, so as to have given you the impression my mother was the bad guy here. Or, I hope it is ok for me to say, I wonder if you might be projecting a little, based on that terrible experience you had. My mother has her faults like everyone, and being too aggressive at times is one of them. But that wasn't what happened in this case. My mom was not joking or being derogatory. If calmly voicing genuine and realistic concerns for me is a sin, then and only then, she is guilty.

She and I have talked openly about the same concerns before, without my getting upset. She had no way to know that this particular time, I would react as I did. (Heck, even I was surprised by my reaction!) And even though some sparring ensued, she did stop when I became upset enough to insist i couldn't not continue. At that point, she was bewildered, but she did not persist.

I am truly sorry for what happened to you in that Supermarket, and the deep impact it has clearly had on you. Healing from these types of repeated trauma is incredibly difficult. I hope that your current therapeutic team can help you recover from it, at least in part. :hug:

I send you good thoughts and much love, with my sincere thanks for your sympathetic post. :Heart:

~ waves ~