Hi Everyone,

I don't know if she has had her eyes checked or not. That is a good point. I will definately mention that to her. She is so flighty I just dont know what information she absorbs when I talk to her. I hope she remembers that I told her about applying for disability and starts doing that. I am just praying that the right person takes an interest in her while she is in jail and gets her in to the right programs. That is really the best I can hope for. If she is not forced to do the programs or helped (and I mean someone walks her through the process) I fear she will not get any help. I don't think at this point she is capable of getting herself help. Do you know what I mean? Before she went to jail I talked to her on the phone and told her to come over and I would help her with the disability application online and get her hooked up with my lawyer. She acted like she was gonna do that but then never called or showed up. She also told me she had been 100 percent sober for a year. That was in January. Then in February I hear from my mom and dad who go out to lunch with her parents all the time that she has gotten 3 more DUI's and is in jail and is not welcome to go back to there home. I really don't know if she can read and write well enough to get help and that is why she hasn't because she does not want to be embarrassed about it.
Well, all we can do is keep her in our prayers. I will help her if I can and she let's me.

Much love,
Brain

Oh, Brain

that is so sad.

I will hope for her.

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~

Brain,

Many families of adults with untreated bipolar go through what her parents describe. It is more common that we hear about.
can get help.

Try these links for free mental health care:
http://www.dsamh.utah.gov/consumerinformation.htm
http://www.dsamh.utah.gov

http://www.dsamh.utah.gov/mentalhealthtreatment.htm



Mari

Mari,
Thanks for those links those are really helpful. I appreciate it.
Brain

I do not think my friend is ready for help. She told me she always stops taking the bi-polar medication because she likes the bi-polar. She likes all the energy and says it makes her stay thin because she does not eat and just likes it when she is manic. Do you guys like it?
She also says she likes the lifestyle of being a criminal and alcoholic /drug addict. I guess if that is the case she is just going to keep it up until they lock her up for good or she kills herself and possibly others with her drunk driving.
I guess she is not leaving her parents or anyone who cares about her any choice but to turn their backs on her. At least until she wants to change.
How sad. I was hoping if she could see what being stable is like for awhile she would see that it is a much better option.
If she could only see herself through others eyes when she is manic, she would not think it was cool.
Brain

6 months months ago I was manic and bought a new car without my husbands consent, almost on a whim.( this is the second time that I did this) It was like I could not help myself out of the situation. I had to have that car., was excited with the idea of having it. went thru all of the paperwork and drove it home almost getting into a car accident because it has a huge blind spot. I went in the next day sober so to speak and insisted that they take this car back that I hated. After many people they took the car back and I got my old car back whew!
scared me straight out of my mania...which I experienced because I had been drinking so much that my meds were no longer working...that is the only explanation for my mania.I told my pdoc how much I had been drinking and she scared me straight, did not have a drink in 3 months. Then the holidays came and I started drinking again then new years and hubbies hip and then my cruise....all drinking activities. So now I must reel it in again. my mania cantransition into psychosis, delusions and hallucinations if not for my meds, very scarey. SSRI's can do this to me as well.
Being hypomanic or manic gets me into trouble. No I don't like it at all. I say things that get me into trouble I do things that get me into trouble...how can that be good? But I am 50 and older than she so perhaps I am more aware...but I still bought that car so was out of control.
bizi

Hugs to you, dear Bizi,



M

The truth is, some of my favorite people are bi-polar and right here!!!!! We may be emotional, may have our issues, but we are good people and it shows on the posts all the time. I am so glad you found this site, and us. Have a good night.... ginnie

Bizi,
That is a great story. Thanks for sharing that. I am sorry that happens to you. It must be hard not to drink. Being on an emotional roller coaster is awful. It would drive you to drink just to feel calm. I like to feel calm. I think I would hate the feeling of being manic. I would drink too honestly. I hope you have it under control again. Some is ok but too much is no good.
Ginnie, I know. Why do you think I asked if I could be part of the bi-polar group?One thing about you guys is your definately not boring. You are a good group of people. I enjoy talking with all of you and appreciate your concern for each other and for me. Thanks for adopting me.
I hope you all had a good day and sleep well friends.
Much love to you all,
Brain

Hi Brain

sorry for the lengthy post here:

from what you say here and further on in the post, I would agree that she is not ready for help. We can just hope that she gets clean in jail or hits a major depression or a mixed state - then she will most likely want help. However she might only take the drugs long enough to get her feeling better, and refuse to stay on them afterwards, so she can get manic again...
I sometimes like the energy - depends if the mania is "clean" or not, and to what degree. Feeling physically agitated is not fun. The mental clarity and ability to do more or at least the impression one is doing more... feels good. Sometimes there is a sense of invincibility or infallibility - almost always sense of power - that feels GOOD, sometimes "special" powers - depeding what they are they can feel really good or really bad. Mania can be intoxicating in and of itself.

Consider her parents' teachings that she is defective and that this illness is her fault. I figure in her normal states her self-esteem is probably really low. When she's manic however she may feel confident and powerful. Those feelings may be worth it too her even if there are some bad aspects like feeling sped up or mind racing... remember that her self-medicating may quell some of the bad aspects without killing off the good.

Wrt the weight control - I don't know if my appetite lessens or if i just burn more when manic - but i have always lost weight in manic and prolonged hypomanic episodes - and yes I like that because when i'm depressed, i most often gain, so i usually have some pounds to burn.

Since i've been on medication, even when i've hit mania i've been medicated into a tamer state pretty fast and i don't get the weight loss. In fact, many meds cause weight gain - the best antimanicr i've ever had is Zyprexa - it serves other purposes too, but it really packs on the pounds. Depakote doesn't make me gain but seems like it makes it almost impossible to lose weight - even when i dieted i couldn't lose weight that was not the case before this drug. Could be the aging process and change to very sedentary lifestyle.

right. i can't speak from personal perspective but that would not appeal to me. the self-medicating has well i've been there... lol, but i did not like "the lifestyle" of it. i felt very much trapped in it.

I do not condone driving intoxicated and consider myself lucky never to have been caught doing so or WORSE, never to have had an accident of any kind let alone hurt anyone. I probably would have been hit with reckless driving on top of it - there is an adrenaline surge that goes with speed and when one is manic it's the kind of thing one really eats up like sugar cream pie (judgment impaired.)

But truly that is best left to rollercoaster rides (and not emotional rides, the kind you see at a boardwalk!) however i do understand that feeling - i remember feeling gleeful in my driving gymnastics...

unfortunate, but correct. may i ask her age? (ignore question if you'd rather not say - and btw you never need justify yourself or even respond, ever, if for any reason you prefer not to answer a question posted to you.)

I hear you. Unfortunately that is true of many individuals who have psychiatric problems, and mania is one of those states where you can lose sense of judgment.

I have something to add though. From all you've said, I can't help thinking she has a personality disorder slapped on top of the bipolar. Her upbringing could certainly trigger emergence of borderline, antisocial (does not mean one does not like socializing - has more to do with rebellious inclinations and deviant social mores), narcissistic personality disorders spring to mind but others possible. Of the three, the pathological lying and her "liking" criminal lifestyle would argue for antisocial personality disorder, but many other things must be present - only a doc could dx her, and as we've already said, there are several roadblocks to that, first being she doesn't want help.

Her parents' repeatedly dealing her the blame card for her bipolar could trigger a personality disorder. Although I know nothing of how she was treated before bipolar emerged, it seems reasonable to suspect there might have been other serious parenting deficits during her formative years.

We can keep the candle of hope lit for her, that something bad will happen - but not TOO bad, just enough - to give her an inside push to seek help.



~ waves ~