I wish he had left it at praising you for the organizing and packing, and left off the not-so-little jab. :(

Proof in point - his point about your accomplishing "nothing" at home.

I wonder if he might have Aspergers rather than OCD+ADHD? He seems to "live in his own world" a lot...

Could you go away for a few days? Hole up in a modest hotel, say, near the beach? I have done this before. Booking and packing were somewhat hard when depressed, but less so than for the typical trip involving social visits or other obligations. I booked online and basically threw T's and jeans in a bag. I had lots of downtime in the room watching TV, but I also went out walking some. I was in a place with good air and beautiful scenery. It was stimulating but in a peaceful way - very refreshing.

I don't mean to bog you down with my personal experiences (again). It was just a thought.

waves

Hi, Waves,

That is a great idea.

Two years ago (in May?) I went with my friend to Ft. Meyers for two nights. It was good to be somewhere that wasn't here. I needed a break from work.

I wonder if I can find a therapist for me who understands Aspergers very well and who could help me deal with him.

Yes, about living in his own world.
Old tdoc is the one who recognized OCD and thought he had a high degree of anxiety. He and I had three sessions with her over the years.
He has some ADHD in that he barely listens to what people have to say -- but maybe that is Aspergers. He tunes them out and sort of day dreams about something else. He has developed coping mechanisms over the years such that he can pretend to be listening. Also, he would rather talk than listen.

Probably he has more Aspergers than the other two but I do recognize the other two. I found myself calling him "Rain Man" the other day when we were at the house to do packing/organizing. He either did not hear it or did not see the connection or how that related to him.

There is a teen -aged character on a family tv show that gets upset when something is different from the plan. I do not know how realistic the character is drawn but Hubby gets upset when a plan is not exact. Even one small detail can disturb him -- like the right flavor of yogurt for our picnic the other day but the wrong brand.

Mari

Hi,

Before I went to bed this morning, I told hubby I was "kicking a ** and taking names." I was probably not using the expression exactly correctly but it made sense to me.

I told him that I was probably going to sleep this afternoon after the appt but for the next three or four days he was going to drop all of his other plans to help me clean and organize the house, clean the fridge, help me get together the hurricane supplies (including first aid together and in one spot).
I also told him for two weeks he was going to eat clean in the house (no junk) so that I can get a break from seeing him bringing in treats.
He agreed.


I want this place clean enough that I can invite people over.

Mari

Asperger Disorder: DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria
 

Maybe this can help a little but I do think an experienced professional would be a good idea. I don't know if a formal dx can be made without information regarding childhood sx.

Three plus early for appt !!
 

I showed up at 12:00 for an appt for much later in the afternoon. Ack!!!
It is just as well because the paper work took forever. In fact I gave up and asked the woman at the desk to help me with the forms.
I am trying to hold things together but to have to hold things together is going to take everything ( do not want to do a total freak out in front of the prpple at the desk. )
. . . dealing with a psych appt all day instead of an expected 20/30 mins is exhausting.
I would rather be at home watching tv.

---
I am on my phone. Typing stinks.

He prolly has two from the second section but I do not know about the first section -- the items do seem to be appropriate for someone young as you say.

Three plus hours and I am past worn out
 

Trileptal 300 bid according to the prescription in my hand.
I was polite but insistent w/ staff when I saw that I was walking out the door without my Verapamil. Those were a scary 8 mins. . . . Not knowing if I would get my Verapamil refilled.

I saw her for 4 mins because staff squeezed me in.
Appt was for 3:45.
Office was chaotic and awful and I do not like the building -- creeps me out.
I was there too long.

sorry about your pdoc appointment
 

Hi Mari,

I am sorry about the yucky afternoon! :hug::hug::hug: By the sounds of the experience, you'll be looking for a different pdoc?

I hope the Trileptal helps. 300 bid is a low dose - adjunctive therapy, OR, she gave you that to start you out. I still think it would be good to titrate up to that rather than take the entire 300 bid. Check with the pharmacy if the 300 tablets(?) are splittable.

I did not have problems with Trileptal for a good while. Later I did, but not sure why. It happened after a virus - that might have had to do with it. I wish I had been given blood tests; instead I was told to wait it out for about 10 days. When things didn't improve I was d/c'd. Until then, though, it was effective and free of side effects. I hope that can lend some encouragement. :)

I am about to write you a bunch more stuff on Aspergers, with a link to the source. Please don't feel pressured to read or reply right away or even soon. It won't go anywhere and neither will I.

waves

personal experience with *possible* Aspie
 

I have a friend who believes he has Asperger syndrome but does not have a formal dx. It may be relevant that my friend has an unusually high IQ (genius range), which might produce social isolation intrinsically or cause differences in a possible Asperger presentation.

I don't see the first section in him much, but I have run into a couple of things with him:

1. Social bluntness. Eg. While IM'ing, most friends would warn me they would need to leave in a few minutes etc. He, on the other hand, would just say, "Well, I have to eat dinner now," followed by, "Goodnight," and leave! (I had a talk with him about this. He gives me advance notice now... but it took time to get to this point. It was hard to explain it to him.)

2. Failure to understand/accept others' needs without an exhaustive and logical (to him) explanation. Eg. He came to stay in the nearby city so we spent time together. I needed to come home to fetch something or change, or something. It was more than an hour round trip; he insisted on keeping me company - said he had nothing better to do. I asked him to wait downstairs assuring him that I would be very quick. I said I was sorry, that it wasn't my place and I couldn't invite him up. He insisted! I said I was sorry and that it was too hard to explain. For 15 minutes worth of "conversation" he met my every objection with, "but ... WHY?!" A not-so-close friend would have been cued by my request to wait downstairs, period. A close friend might have taken a jab at me about not being let in, but would not have pushed it; they would have understood that I did not have complete control since it was my parents' home. Certainly most anyone would have perceived my acute discomfort. This friend did not get any of these things.

I was reminded of this visiting incident when you described hubby's failure to understand the significance of the mango issue.

waves

Article on Asperger Disorder: differential dx and comorbities
 

I found an article on Asperger syndrome/disorder. Unfortunately the focus is on children, but it gave some precise indications regarding comorbidity and differential dx of OCD, ADHD and anxiety. I can try to see if I find some material on adults.

Diagnosis and differential diagnosis of Asperger syndrome
Advances in Psychiatric Treatment (2001)

Considerations for differential diagnosis, according to the article above:

Quote:

Obsessive compulsive disorders (DSM–IV) The core features of obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) are recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses or images that are experienced at some time during the disturbance as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual recognises that these are a product of his or her own mind. Compulsions involve repetitive behaviours or mental acts that a person feels driven to perform to reduce stress associated with some dreaded event or situation. An adult can recognise that they are excessive or unreasonable

Quote:

These phenomena, including the urge to count and manipulate numbers, to repeat the same action over and over, are similar to the repetitive routines associated with Asperger syndrome. Individuals with both conditions display ritualistic behaviour and resistance to change. Where they differ is that persons with Asperger syndrome have obsessive interests that are not experienced as ego-dystonic and, indeed, are often enjoyed.

Quote:

Affective disorders Despite some overlap in symptomatology [...]affective disorders differ in representing a distinct change from premorbid functioning, and typically are associated with onset in adulthood. Epidemiological studies of psychiatric comorbidity are lacking in individuals with autistic spectrum disorders, but depression, anxiety disorders and bipolar disorder occur more commonly than in the general population and represent substantial morbidity

Considerations for differential diagnosis, according to the article above:

Quote:

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (DSM–IV) Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) presents with inattention, distractability, fidgetiness, impulsivity and hyperactivity. Persons with (High Functioning Autism) spectrum disorders may be hyperactive, impulsive, have a short attention span and share similar executive function deficits as patients with ADHD. The conditions differ in that ADHD lacks the classic impairment in reciprocal social interaction, narrow interests, repetitive routines and non-verbal problems of Asperger syndrome.

Quote:

In accordance with a hierarchical rule in DSM–IV, a person meeting the criteria for a pervasive developmental disorder cannot be diagnosed as having ADHD.

Quote:

it is important to consider that impulsivity can interfere with social relationships, making children appear unempathic. Indeed, children with ADHD can be so easily distracted that they appear to be in a world of their own and therefore seem socially disconnected.

CONVERSELY,

Quote:

children with Asperger syndrome are not uncommonly misdiagnosed as having ADHD, since it is often the attention and hyperactive problems that parents first observe

This is interesting. I think it might take an expert to tell if his coping mechanisms are consistent with what an adult Aspie might develop, and similarly whether his, ehh, "excessive blabbing" is a plausible characteristic.

This could be a manifestation of Asperger - or any autism spectrum disorder.