Yes, we have all found ways to cope.
For example, I go to a very small branch (almost tiny) of a huge grocery chain because I want little stimulation and the workers know me and leave me alone but help when I request it.

It is great that you enjoy the outdoors. Being with Nature I believe keeps one whole.

Mari

Bizi, Waves and Mari
 

I know my med file says BP I and II in different places, probably the admin people aren't sure of the difference like me. It is confusing. I have been manic several times, ER manic and my psychiatrist has not witnessed those episodes. I saw the duty psychiatrist in the ER. I am going to ask my doc when I see him Thur.

Sometimes I forget who I am now and I will sign up to do things that I used to love to do (host dinner parties for example) I will invite, plan meal and then wonder what the heck I am doing but it is too late and I have to follow through, having forgotten that I prefer to be home alone now w Trip. Also if I have people over there is a pretty good chance they will reciprocate in some fashion which is also a struggle. Last night in fact, I was invited to a new neighbors house. I had them over w a couple that knows me real well a couple months ago. It ruined my day I was so anxious about it all day. They said I could bring Trip, that helped.

Yesterday I replaced some of my potted plants-that is good of my soul. I went to yoga and for a run, as I couldn't sit still.

I wish I had a grocery like you Mari. My Costco people know how I am, I whip in there first thing in the AM and get out quick. I go weekly so no trip is too long. I would like to say I am saving money from not shopping in malls but I seem to do too well shopping on line--avoidance.

One more thing, my parents closed on the house that the three of us will move into this week. Now, I am independent but 100% disabled from the VA. My retirement is 01 Sept. I am anxious about it all. We are taking the first load of furniture out to the new house mid Aug. I look forward to having my folks there for me and me being there for them. I have the top floor of the house to myself but I am anxious about sorting my belongings to what I will need while I live there (indef) and what I will store. My space has always been super important to me, I need my nest, I really spend most of my time alone and I hope they respect that. It is huge but living in a much more rural environment will help me. That is just where I am today. I get my last military paycheck on the 15th then the VA kicks in(hopefully on time) and I am anxious about that too. Thank you guys.

HI, TBI/PTSD,

Those are big changes.
Do you have a therapist helping you with how you feel about your retirement next month?
Rural will be good because you will have fewer people around. However, you end up getting closer to them and knowing more about each other. There is good and bad in rural but you can make it work for you.
I imagine that moving in with parents (even though you will have your own floor) is causing consternation even though you are looking forward to it.

I have one big issue with staying with my parents.
Inside temperature:
They keep their inside temperature hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Their temps are so far off mine that I cannot visit them. They visit my husband and me once a year and stay in a nearby hotel for a few days -- they would rather get on a plane to come here than adjust their thermostat.

Other things with them like noise level or sleep times or keeping the kitchen clean or sharing the washing machine are manageable and reasonable.

I used do those things you mentioned like agree to do something with someone and then need to back out of it. I am getting better (not perfect yet) about reminding myself that I should never offer and try to never accept. It is hard to do that because it is a reminder of a limited life.

I suppose one can look at this kind of life as not really limited. We are busy in our heads and I think we have a humongous amount of stimulation going on compared to what other people have -- our inner lives are so big that we do not need to meet or plan activities with other people.

My old therapist reminded me constantly to limit stress and I think that she might have been talking about that. She wanted me to do more "breath work" as she called it and that was really the only work she gave me along with acceptance and remembering to eliminate as much as possible in order to be stress free. She included in that suggestions on keeping my living space clean and clutter free.
Your yoga and exercise is good.
Do your parents have a place for you to garden?

Mari

I use to hate going into Supermarkets,7-11 stores,pharmacies,movie theaters,and church. I felt like I was going to scream outloud,or freak out while everyone was silent. These thoughts would flash through my mind. I had borderline impulses to get up,and to leave. I was,and still am uncomfortable around people.

I worked in a Supermarket for just under 14 years. That helped me somewhat,but the worse part of it was to get along with everyone. That seemed to be impossible because some people would step right on you if you where nice all the time. I had many confrontations with people who started trouble over the years.

I learned that most people are absorbed with their own problems. We had many customers who had a spectrum of special needs.

People who work as pharmacists are loaded with work,and responsibility.

I'm just rambling on.:) BF:hug::hug::hug:

heya Steve
 

I enjoy your "ramblings", Steve, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. :):hug:

Many of us, myself included, have at some time encountered the kinds of things you are talking about. We can relate. :grouphug:

Have a good day today. Oh. It's night where you are. Oops. Ok. Well, have a good night, and a good day tomorrow! :heartthrob::circlelove:

waves

Hey Waves. Thank you for liking my rambling. I like your messages, communications,teaching,speaking,and comments. You have a wealth of knowledge,wisdom. Thank you for being my friend. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Temperature.....
 

Oh we have something in common! Temperature! That is crazy, that is one of my biggest concerns. I HATE to be hot, I have been hot at there house here because of the pellet stove. I have a clock that has the temperature.

My therapists are helping me w retirement. It is hard, it is all I have ever wanted to do (serve as Marine) perfect place for someone who is intense like me. It was the perfect fit for me prior to my injury. My whole family has served, Navy, Army and I chose the Marines.

There is a laundry room upstairs and down too (yeah!) but you are right, the kitchen the fridge space ( I think I will bring my own fridge for all of my veggies and fruit for smoothies). It doesn't have to be permanent. I want to keep everything the movers pack up for me packed up. Which means I will not have access to all of my things, that also means a lot of planning. My mom told me to bring some of my things to put about the house so I feel more at home. I told her thanks, but I don't want to intermingle. I want to make my space my utopia.

I will take all of my plants, yoga stuff, sewing stuff, books, and kayak, running/exercise stuff. Oh yeah, recipes too.

I really like what you said about the stimulation going on inside of me and that more it too much. Sometimes I get ****** when people stop me to exchange hello's and chat to me in the neighborhood, sometimes it is ok. Besides they don't understand and I am certain they think I am a crabby patty. I don't care anymore. I gotta remember that this is my life and I have to do what is best for me.

I have to drive to the hospital to get Orthodics this am. They open at 0800, I will get there at 0600 so I don't have to deal w traffic. Does traffic bother you?

I am excited to be rural so very excited. Thanks for your post.

BFi feel like that too
 

I have the same feelings, like everyone will be silent and I will be screaming, or everyone will be hustling about and I will fall out on the ground with a splat and people will keep stepping over me. I often hear people criticizing me in my head and I think of nasty things to say to them in reply. I am working on that one with my doc currently.

14 years in that public of a work space is a long time. I couldn't do that. I agree with you about the masses of humanity wow, sometimes in general I think they are all bad, rarely do I think they are good.

Thanks for your reply, you have great think to say! Thanks for the support.

ramble away steve, I like reading about your life.:)
bizi

I also hear people criticizing me in my head after having worked at that Supermarket. It would start just before I would go to work. I also hear a whispering sound,but it's not that way all of the time. If I'm nervous in the public,I may hear it start at some point. It's from having been through so much criticism in a business that became so unprofessional. They are out of business now. I moved before that happened. I got criticized at other places in my life. It's damaging if we are sensitive people. Some people say that they let it roll off of their shoulders. They say that it goes in one ear,and out the other. I never could do that. I'm still medicated,and going through therapy for all of the things that damaged my heart,memory,and self esteem. BF:hug::hug::hug: