Hi.

I am getting really upset! I feel it sort of building up...

And I don't know why!

Nothing has happened, nobody has been mean or hurtful, there have been no sad or disturbing events, haven't watched anything untowards on tv, or read anything.... this just crept up on me OUT OF THE BLUE!

Feeling antsy and irritable and, well just plain UPSET!!! With maybe just a touch of melancholy involved but only just. Indignant - yeah that too. Indignant? At nothing?? This is ridiculous!

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I fell asleep for a couple hours today for no apparent reason too. Still hasn't brought total up much, night sleep + day nap came to ~5 hours again! And now it is 4.40 am, I am wide awake and can't sleep! This could easily mess up my sleep schedule again, which would be a problem.

waves who was writing yesterday and today - lots of fun it was, too. Srsly don't get what my problem is.

Waves,

Sleep would help whatever is happening but on the other hand lack of sleep might be the lion's share of the problem.

It stinks that you were doing your writing and feeling o.k. enough and now you are not.

Sorry. Throwing meds at it and getting some sleep can help me with this sometimes.

Mari

Waves I'm sorry that you are feeling upset. I'm feeling the same thing today myself.

It seems to come out of the blue,and for no reason sometimes. Then it subsides at some point,and time.

I hope that you feel better soon. BF

Could anything or nothing, gee I wish you felt better. Sometimes we do get funky with lack of sleep, our brains need it. Can a med be causing insomnia? Did any levels recently get adjusted?
Smell a flower, buy a flower or paint a lower or anything that is warm and fuzzy.
Hugs

Thanks so much you guys for your support! You all are the bestest!

Good News: I am feeling decidedly better today! Right back to feeling A-OK.

And I think I have figured out what was causing my bad mood last night, too. It is nothing obscure but perhaps last night I just could not see the forest for the trees.

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I'd like to reply individually, so I'll go ahead and do that, and explain better as I go.

waves

Dear DiWell, as you can see I figured it out. And also feel fine. But just to answer the questions:

No, no med changes. Also not "technically" sleep deprived and no insomnia. My concern about my schedule being messed up is pretty chronic -- it is hard for me to stay on any kind of schedule. I don't know if it's possible, but I've often wondered if I have a 25 or 26-hour circadian rhythm.

When I have to for work and such, I end up sleep deprived, but currently I can sleep whenever I need. Just would prefer to try and establish a schedule, for the swimming, and for job searching.

In any case, lately I have slept all I wanted; I just have had a slightly reduced need for sleep -- feel rested with just 5 hours. This could indicate mild activation. Trying to stay vigilant for that.

For reasons unknown, last night (i.e. this morning ), my body claimed 7 hours full. Today my mood is the same as it has been (good with high energy).

I loved your thoughts about smelling a flower or painting one or anything that was warm and fuzzy. Made me smile. You have a knack for that. Thank you so much for your post.

waves

I was very glad to read this.
bizi

Thanks Steve!

This does happen to me sometimes too, and it troubles me no end. I so hate when my mood inexplicably drifts off into some weird direction. Feelings are just easier to deal with when you can figure out a cause. As you can see from the earlier posts, it finally dawned on me that I got upset about something specific, and that is reassuring beyond the fact of feeling fine today.

It is scary when it happens out of the blue. I am sorry you were going through that yesterday. I hope you start feeling better soon. Lots of hugs to you. You are a dear person. Thank you so much for your support and understanding.

waves

Well, sleep helped. I apparently needed more sleep than my recent-usual (once I finally got sleepy, lol), so perhaps that did contribute some.

Yeah, and this was food for thought. I was more than o.k. writing, I was doing great. I ate and watched evening tv - still happy dappy. Then, I surfed youtube for several hours. Kablammy! Hmmm.... what was I doing on youtube?

I watched swimming videos -- various kinds, including coaching and tips, pool etiquette, and olympic races. I must have done that for 2-3 hours!

WHY?! Well, I'm strongly ambivalent about my pool venture. When I launched into it I was really keen and excited. The experience was anticlimactic. I had a delayed reaction because I tried to rationalize/minimize the issues at first. Of course, things gradually sank in. Result: part of me wants to throw in the towel, but the part of me that doesn't got on youtube...

I was watching the videos to try to figure out what I might be able to fix/adapt in what I do that could make this work for me. But it was like facing the music, along with the other issues (those beyond my control) dancing in my head as well. It makes sense to me now that I'd be upset after doing that for 2-3 hours.

Well, I threw some teen tv at it and got sleepy... I got 7 hours total last night. I did wake up after 3 hours-ish but only for a minute or so.

Dear Mari

It's interesting you ask if I was angry (your post title). I think that is in this package too, yes. My anger isn't "reasonable" -- it is not based on realistic expectations, so I perhaps did not acknowledge it. But, yes:

1. I am angry that I will have to share a lane and worry about crashing into people (more than viceversa).
2. I am even angrier that when the pool is "busy" the lane-sharing might involve 3, 4, 6 people from what I have found out on youtube.
3. I am angry that I don't have other alternatives for swimming.
4. I am angry they don't have a pool with deep (can't touch bottom) end.
5. I am angry that I don't have the whole entire pool to myself! (LOL)
6. I am angry that I have to undress in front of people and either a) be naked in front of them or b) look stupid holding my towel with my teeth to avoid (a).
7. I am angry that when I leave the pool with clean chlorinated feet and dedicated flip-flops, I have to walk through an ankle-deep pool of standing water. What is the point of having slippers "for hygiene reasons" if you are going to dunk them in a bath of water with your feet... and can't re-chlorinate the feet afterwards! You might say, take the flip-flops off, well that would be even worse as other people do not remove their slippers. I'm sorry, but that's just gross!
8. I am angry that I spent all this money and will probably have to spend more just to fix things and still can't fix everything.
9. I am angry that I spent all this money and now feel like I am pulling teeth to get something out of it.
10. I am angry at myself for having such high expectations of a situation that I was clueless about (I'd never used a public pool before -- not even used in the U.S.)
11. I am angry at myself for not buying a single one-day pass to check it out before I got the 10 visit package + required membership card.
12. I am angry that I don't have a home with a large pool in my backyard for my own private and exclusive use.

Let's face it: I miss the sea.

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I'll be back to answer other posts a bit - I have to research something for my mom.

waves