I am jstu wanting to offer you a hug today....
((((HUG))))
bizi

Thanks bizi.

I just want to send a bunch of big HUGS.........

Please don't let your husband put you on guilt trips or try to control you, it's not healthy.

I hope all works out best for all.

Take care, Nikko

Thanks Nikko, I was just washing up kitchen stuff we don't use too often and packing it up and he came out and said, "God job Pam, that's a good start" so it's better today. No remnents of the argument from yesterday. Still the damage to my self-esteem was done. The only way I could see myself ending up going is if I get this writer's grant I applied for earlier this year. It's for women writer's and it's 25,000 for a two year period totalling 50K. So if I got that (will know in mid June) and can get a new car he can't say that my car won't make it or that we don't have the money you know? I might be able to buy mom and her hubby tickets and get them to go with me where Jack won't be so worried because they will be with me. So I have resolved to NOT think about it until I hear from the "A Room Of Her Own" organization about the person chosen for the grant. Wish me luck!

good luck pamster!!!!!!
The grant sounds promising....
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I know it's something I wrote five really HARD essays to add to my application, here is the link to the site:

http://www.aroomofherown.org/

So it's definitely part of what I am stressing over, I really need a new car and I hope that my essays really impresed the judges, because that grant would lead to my writing career getting off the ground. All I'd have to do is hit up one of the bigger agents and say I have been chosen for the Gift Of Freedom grant and would like their representation for my novels, as I have six ready to go. It would be like a dream come true, so I am holding on with both hands' fingers crossed.

The link is wonderful for women. I love to write, yet I never did anything about it. Geeze my life would be a real good book. LOL

Are your essay's there to read? I didn't see an area in the website to read.

Let me know.

Thanks, Nikko

Nope they aren't up yet. If I don't win it I will post them here for you all to check out. They have four finalists listed (though it's not clearly listed) and I didn't like any of the work I saw because it was just too dark or too self-absorbed and sounded like someone venting about being a mother. I am sure the entire essays might have read differently then the excerpts posted for them, but even so I think mine were better and have hope that they think so too.