(((((((HUGS))))))
I am sorry....
Wish I could help.
bizi

Thanks Bizi.

You just did by being here. :hug:

It helps me to feel not so alone, on top of feeling dazed and confused.

waves

Waves,
THose are daunting --esp if you are all by yourself.The time specific nature of that make is worse (more daunting).

M

I have been feeling really down. Yesterday I was fatigued and still forced myself to look at stuff. Today I haven't yet.

Yes. The time thing is because the country slows to a crawl during summer and hiring with it. September is an ideal time to job hunt. I wanted to pick up some skills that are relevant to the here and now. My skills are old. I lack expertise in some "newer" areas that have become a standard.

Really makes me appreciate teachers, college, courses, etc. I'd kill for a SYLLABUS right now! I thought, hey... I'll make one. Yerrright. Don't know which end to pull. I can't. I do not have enough knowledge even to define high level goals, much less break them down into smaller tasks, let alone prioritize. And figuring out a timeline ... well that's just a joke.

I believe my biggest problem in all this is that I lack insight to know what is essential and what is fluff.

So I am faced with this this big amorphous sea of infinite crap, with new stuff coming down the pike as I breathe, and I get to dig through it with a freaking toothpick.

I know that what I need to do is just trudge, pick, and keep moving. The idea is that at some point, I will realize I know much more than I did. I will feel more competent than I did. I will find one or two things I can safely stick on my resume, and perhaps talk about in an interview. But I don't guess I'll realize it until I have done quite a lot of what feels like nothing.

Without any structure, I don't see intermediate achievements. When I do, I cannot see their value. Even when I can say, "I learned X today," it's hard to feel it has any more significance than "I picked a piece of gum out of my shoe."

Sigh. :(

I have mostly played mahjongg today and yesterday. That is not going to get much gum out of shoes, I know. Mom had stuff planned so I couldn't even cook, which is at least a productive distraction. Today I did boil eggs for dinner which is basically mindless. I've been feeling really out of it.

waves

Oh, I did do the stepper while the eggs were cooling. 12 mins, 350 reps.

Bizi. You inspired me with the going to the gym just for a little while. ;)

Waves,

Thanks for explaining the timeline.:)

Without a "syllabus" you are going to make an educated guess.
By definition the guess is going to be off -- we just do not know how far off it will be.
Do remember that you are making an educated guess.
Trust yourself. You can settle on something initially and while you are on it slide into another avenue. That is all o.k.
My point is that what you choose will be worthwhile even if you can not know now to what extent that will be. :cool:
(I believe I said the exact same thing three different ways. Anyway, I am sending good vibes for all the energy you are putting into this.

Yes. That is frustrating.

You have got this 100% right. With luck, you will know part way in.

High Fives for the stepper.

M

hey waves, glad that you did the stepper! how is your leg?
I bet it is getting stronger!
bizi

I am glad you tried the three ways. There are slightly different aspects to each.

I do not feel like I am making an educated guess. The "educated" bit is the part I do not feel, LOL. I feel I am just just making a random guess, but the feeling is wrong. The ballpark is, in fact highly educated. It's not like I'm trying to learn all-that-is-compsci from scratch, nor am I starting in a random place. I have picked a specific type of architecture to get familiar with (web service). This is only my starting task, but the fact is I did pick a starting task. This choice is based on where I see industry demand (# jobs) growing, because more and more software uses this mode of operation.

The platform and language to use are "educated" only based on my personal preference, which is per se important.

If I can get myself past feeling so outdone from the getgo, it will be worthwhile. And yes, the sliding into other avenues is unlikely but possible if, after using it more, I decide .NET is really pukey, LOL.

I am trying to remind myself that even what I've done so far is worthwhile....

Thinking this out has helped me some. Thank you for helping me talk things out.

I picked a new sig that kind of reflects my situation. The quote is from Alan Turing, who is sometimes thought of as the father of computer science, so it feels relevant in a very specfic way. :)

Thanks! I hope to do it again today. I'm not sure if I should be doing it every day, or only every other day.

I guess I will do it every day if I feel ok, and try to stick with what is sustainable for at least 3 times a week (I think that is the minimum to see benefit).

Hi Bizi, thank you.

I've only done it a total of 4 times so far. I think it will take at least a month to see any results. It feels mostly ok... tendons are complaining near the hip area as well. :(

My feet are unhappy. I have sesamoid inflammation both sides, and the plantar fascitis is back on the one side... possibly from improper foot posture, like last time. I have been medicating the sesamoids and stretching out the one with fascitis.... I hope it is enough. I might need a round of therapy for the sesamoids.

waves

Waves,

For my PF, I was told to ice it for 15-20 mins two to three times a day, massage, and stretch. And to never go barefoot == thought I would share. An inflammatory med is being sent from Nevada -- a compounding cream to apply to the bottoms of my feet. It is coming via Fed X. (My guy apparently does not believe in cortisone shots. )
I stink with doing the ice. I am working on it.

I might have to have a talk with my feet tomorrow (later). So far I have been seeing them as a burden and a problem.
I am going to become friends with them and listen.
===
And I hope that you can try not to laugh at me. :cool:

M