I am so flipping tired. And I hurt, hurt, hurt. I am trying to be positive and find a place that doesn't hurt but I haven't found it yet.

The past month has been an extreme whirlwind. Too much. Thank goodness I was able to get stable before all this crap came down.

Wes is still up and down like a yo-yo. Happy and spazy one moment and suicidal the next. He finally peed purple and got dangerously depressed day before yesterday and seems to have stablized by last night. It gets so exhausting to be on constant alert.

I talked to his pdoc last night about it and all he could say was that it's frigging weird. I laughed so hard. He wants me to really try and get a sample next time Wes has purple urine. I wouldn't know where to take it. I need to get him a new general doctor. His current one is an idiot.

sigh

My poor neighbors. I could write a novel about the stress they are going through. It just seems to keep getting harder and harder for them. I need a little break, but I can't seem to be able to let myself. If I were in their shoes, I would need help desperately.

I have gained 15 pounds on the stupid Rispedal and Lithium. None of my clothes fit and I feel SO fat. I am not. Just mildly overweight. But I FEEL huge. I am pretty ticked about it. I just have to remind myself of the alternative. Not good. So, chubby it is.

Allright. Enough whining.

Good morning to all and love to all.

Hang in there......I hope your pain subsides soon. Give yourself a break.

Life is so stressful, but it will pass as everything eventually does. Take it slow.
Whine away, vent, we are all here for you.....

Baby steps - remember that.

Hugs, Nikko

Dear Bear,
Just a quick note to say that I am sorry Wes continues his yo yo life.
I think he has the worst case of bipolar...hardest to stabilize...I wish his doctors could find something that works for him.
Please feel free to whine all you want...you are working so hard and I am sure that your neighbors appreciate what you are doing for them...sounds like it is too much ...hard on your body.
Rest when you can.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Mrs. Bear,

I am so sorry your days have been stressful. It does help to get it out. Just remember, the sun will shine on you all one day. It doesn't stay cloudy forever. Although at times it may seem like dark days may never end. I'm trying to convince myself of the same thing as I've been doing some whining too lately.

befuddled2

Dear Mrs. Bear,
I like the pdoc. How does one get a sample like that? I don't have kids. I'm trying to imagine that conversation.

It's too bad we have to go through drs at all.
Instead of general drs to run tests for us, we should have our own crystal ball or something so that we can find out ourselves what is going on.

I hope that Wes is ok.

Woah. Is there a way to back off with the neighbors a bit? Your needs are big too -- remember that.
I remember that you posted another time about how important these people are to you and I am sure that they are grateful. Will their crisis abate some time soon so that you can get a break too?

If you can buy a new summer outfit or two, you won't notice the Risperdal weight.

Whining is good.
That's why we are here.

Be OKAY.


Mari

I don't call it whining and when you wrote that I thought you were beating yourself up again and not entitling yourself just to tell it how it is right now.
I am so sorry about the weight gain. Topamax helps curb the appetite.
Abilify if you can take it supposedly doesn't have the weight gain effects of risperdal and topamax can replace lithium. I am focussing on that part of the message although purple is one of my favorite colors although i would faint if i saw it in urine, but I gained over 100 pounds because of these medications
so I think the side effects are a very serious issue.
Bobby