[Nikko]

I think I am finally burnt right out as a care giver. I know I have said it before and tried everything in my power to get my mom into a place or on her own with 24 hour care, and she won't budge. And adult protective care can't do a damn thing for me, because she is coherant and can make her own descions, even though she cannot take of herself. Makes no sense.

Anything I do or go, I hear about. I had a nice lunch with my girlfriend yesterday, then we sat at the pool, I actually got to the point I didn't want to go home, because I know what I have to face.

When my boyfriend gets back from MI we have 2 nights planned at the Radission down the street, so I can come back during the day and all.
I thought this would be a good trial run.
Then she says, why don't you both just stay here, you have everything here.
OMG........the whole point is for me to have some time away. A nice room with a balcony to watch the fireworks, cocktails, dinner,a swim in their pool, jacuzzi, breakfast in bed. Just a total break, although I will be coming home during the day to take care of things.

Well, I took care of that, I am going.

I know I am burning out, because I am getting bitchy and I can't help it.

So my mind is racing in all directions, trying to figure a way out of this trapped life, and I will. I need a life. I want to live alone with my dogs and birds. I want to go out and not have to be home at a certain time, well except for my animals, or check in or whatever, or answer to where I am going, when I will be back, etc.

I want to clean my house and not have to find it a mess in a matter of hours. It's like picking up after a 5 yr old.

Okay, needed to vent. Sorry, same old story, but something has to give, and it will once I figure it out. My lease isn't up till next April, UGH

Getting a lot of headaches AGAIN, must be stress.

Well today, I need to clean and run some MORE errands, take one day off and the **** hits the fan.

Hugs to all.......................No need to reply, nothing to say, thanks for listening.

Nikko

[Jomar]

Is she is capable and safe to leave on her own - you need to live your life and not let her manipulate you.

Can you just split if she goes off on you?
Give her cool off time - like a child?

Some ideas?? maybe?
make a contract with her - or just a list outlining some basic adult house rules?

Is there a caregiver support group in your area?
it must be so difficult to deal with her...

[bizi]

I agree with Jo on this one and wonder if her level of dementia is in the category of altzheimers?
I know that most places have support groups for this ailment...the local hospital may have a caregivers support group list or even hospice could lead you to a support group of sorts....
I hear your frustration and I know you are a stronger woman than i.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

[befuddled2]

Hi Nanc,

I'm sure the Alheizer's Association includes those family members with Dementia if that is your case. They did when I checked into it when my mom was still living. Support groups are good because you can get some rather good tips.

befuddled2

[Nikko]

The woman from Adult Protective Services just happened to call yesterday afternoon, she is coming on Monday, she said she will be closing the case. Go figure that one.

I am setting ground rules. I need to get her to her PCP because her balance is getting worse, maybe she needs meds for her Parkinson's, even though her neurologist said she only had Parkinsonian symptoms, well I disagree, she has Parkinson's and should be on medication like back East.

So, I will find a new neurologist too.

Maybe that will make some of a difference.

Thanks to all.

Hugs, Nikko