I think I am finally burnt right out as a care giver. I know I have said it before and tried everything in my power to get my mom into a place or on her own with 24 hour care, and she won't budge. And adult protective care can't do a damn thing for me, because she is coherant and can make her own descions, even though she cannot take of herself. Makes no sense.

Anything I do or go, I hear about. I had a nice lunch with my girlfriend yesterday, then we sat at the pool, I actually got to the point I didn't want to go home, because I know what I have to face.

When my boyfriend gets back from MI we have 2 nights planned at the Radission down the street, so I can come back during the day and all.
I thought this would be a good trial run.
Then she says, why don't you both just stay here, you have everything here.
OMG........the whole point is for me to have some time away. A nice room with a balcony to watch the fireworks, cocktails, dinner,a swim in their pool, jacuzzi, breakfast in bed. Just a total break, although I will be coming home during the day to take care of things.

Well, I took care of that, I am going.

I know I am burning out, because I am getting bitchy and I can't help it.

So my mind is racing in all directions, trying to figure a way out of this trapped life, and I will. I need a life. I want to live alone with my dogs and birds. I want to go out and not have to be home at a certain time, well except for my animals, or check in or whatever, or answer to where I am going, when I will be back, etc.

I want to clean my house and not have to find it a mess in a matter of hours. It's like picking up after a 5 yr old.

Okay, needed to vent. Sorry, same old story, but something has to give, and it will once I figure it out. My lease isn't up till next April, UGH

Getting a lot of headaches AGAIN, must be stress.

Well today, I need to clean and run some MORE errands, take one day off and the **** hits the fan.

Hugs to all.......................No need to reply, nothing to say, thanks for listening.

Nikko