My therapist supposedly does a CBT-based thing, but when I asked him about the skin eating/picking, he said he had never been presented with this sort of problem! We did talk about it a bit. I can't see him regularly now anyway I can't afford it.

All of my fingers are bleeding. I don't bite the nails -- I bite the skin.

The bitter stuff didn't help me. 1) it hurts on bleeding skin. 2) It's only a deterrent until I put it in my mouth the first time. After the first horrible bite, the bitter taste lingers in my mouth, so sticking my fingers in there again doesn't make it much worse... nothing to lose.

I've bitten as long as I can remember. As a child, I went through phases with my knuckles as well. I would bite/pick the feet too. For about a year when I was 8 I also plucked out my eyebrows and eyelashes but that stopped completely. The fingertips have always been a target though. From my teens on, I was able to get control of it. I'd have spells where it would get bad, and then I could focus and get it under control.

I am doing the things I usually do that help, but still can't get it under control this time. It is worse than it has ever been in my adult life. It has now been going on/escalating for a year. While I was in the US, I was using a strong anxiolytic. Even that didn't stop me. I've deformed several more nailbeds over this past year.

Sounds awful waves.
Try the bandaid trick.
Another distraction is rubber bands around the wrist.
This will probably sound strange, but if you catch yourself biting you can ping the rubber band. It will change the pattern of the biting after you've done it over time. You don't need to hurt yourself with the rubber band pinging, just fairly gently. It's like side tracking a circuit.

p.s. long past my bed time here.
I wish you all the best with putting up your dose of the Lexapro.
I hope you have a much better day and that things will improve for you.

night.

Thanks so much, Lara. Good night and sleep well.

waves ... off to fetch a rubber band...

i am sorry i don't understand either. I have little faith in medications so only when somebody says it is working do i come alive
love
bobby

Everybody,

Just forget it. I feel like I'm speaking Swahili or something, and I am feeling worse, and worse, and worse.

I no longer want to talk about my med, my feelings, or anything else for that matter.

====================

Lara, thank you for taking so much time out to try to help me. I appreciate it and I am sorry to let you down.

Mari, thank you for your thoughts in the other thread, and for trying to reply to me here. I took everything you said under advisement. I struggle to do any of those things, but I do appreciate your input. I cannot speak here any more right now. I am sorry I caused you more grief and hassle when you are depressed as well.

waves

I am glad that lara was awake for you last night when you really needed some support.
You are very secretive about your pdoc perhaps he is your old one or perhaps a new one, I never asked because It seemed like you went off meds for a while there and did not want to talk about meds or therapists etc.

I am hopeful for the lexapro to help with your cuticle biting, I can relate, I only have one healing right now. used liquid bandage that jeff suggested which really helped. I too have ruined nails beds because of this.so I can relate completely. although it has been years since I was a 10 fingers bandaid. My girlfriend just started taking lexapro for her obcessive thoughts. She is not bipolar but the one who is depressed and anxious and in a day treament program 5 days a week. not sure if it is a good fit or not. this is her 3rd day.

I hope that this post doesn't upset you.
bizi walking on egg shells....

Thank you so much, Bizi. It was a very thoughtful post. Thank you. I will reply later on, just want you to know I appreciate it. And I am sorry to have given you so many eggshells.

Waves,

I saw the L posts. I could not respond. I skipped them.
The posts looked complicated and I was not able to figure out the background / context.
I am not able to follow much anyway.

The best I could have done was something like "I hope it ('it' as vague) works for you."
I realize now that that is what I should have done -- acknowledged somehow.
I messed up.


M

Just thinking about you waves. I am hoping you're doing better.
bizi

i hope things are better
love
bobby