I am debating over the issue to tell Dirk that I am BP II. He will be back next Friday to live here.

My p-doc say's I don't have to tell anyone.

I feel at this point in the relationship there is no need to, but is that fair?

It's just that so many people do not understand BP.

Some of my friends know and do understand. I do take my meds, so I am doing the right thing there, well I screwed up not picking up my Cymbalta on time, but that's about it.

I guess the right time will come to tell him or NOT.

Hugs, Nikko

If you are questioning, then for now no. You will know when the time is right.

I agree with your first instinct...to not tell him just yet.
In the future you could just tell him that you suffer from depression which is true and have anxiety issues and episodes of flash backs form past abuse issues. Your gut will tell you when it is right.
bizi

Thanks, he does know about the abuse situation, and also that I take something for depression and anxiety, so that's good so far.

He also has Valium to take if needed, and see's a p-doc for past stress's of his job and so much travelling for so long.

I guess I shouldn't really worry about it right now.


Hugs, Nikko

I wouldn't tell him just yet, the fact he knows you take stuff for anxiety & depression is good enough I think Nikko. I don't go around telling people either though that is because someone on another board said to me in a reply on this subject that I had posted, "You can only tell someone once, you can't untell them" and that really hit home to me that you never know how someone will react when you tell them you are bipolar I or II.

Dirk is nice and likes you just the way you are, so I would leave it as it is, anyone educated enough about bipolar disorder (I just hate the term mental illness) knows that it's manic depression and medication can help, but so many people now a days take medication for anxiety and depression I think society is of two minds about it. One is that they understand better because they've been there or know and love someone who has, and two they look down on people like us and think we are either faking or that we can snap out of it or something.

Those kind I steer away from, and you can usually tell, they are the ones that are high 'n mighty and full of themselves. Usually they are ignorant and full of disinformation about mental illness so you can't listen to squat from them, they are not the kind of people who will understand until it happens to someone they love.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit about what I think on this subject because it's really something I have given a lot of thought to. If you get to a point where Dirk is asking questions about little things you do or your reactions to something, you might consider giving him more information IF he has proved himself to be trustworthy and not one of the full of themselves types who won't listen to you once you mention BP-and just totally discredit anything you have to say after that admission. It's like those kind of people discount us as people and look at us like we need to be in a hospital, lumping us with seriously impaired people when many of us are able to live almost normal lives.

It's sad that there are people now a days using BP as a defense for criminal behavior, that is a grave disservice to the rest of us who don't go off hurting people/children or acting out criminally. That really bothers me seeing people claiming that bipolar disorder is the excuse they have for not controlling themselves. It's really wrong. But it happens more and more you know?

Anyway, Nikko, it's your choice, but I think that you've given him plenty of info already, just the knowledge that you take something to help with anxiety and depression since the divorce and abuse you endured is more then enough info IMO. He's still around after that was disclosed so I'd say it's a pretty good bet that he's not going to be one of the ignorant kind of persons to like ignore or discriminate against you over being BP II, so I wouldn't worry about him.

What matters to him is that you're a attractive loveable young woman with so much potential. He sounds like a great guy and I hope he's appreciative of you because you deserve to be happy, your ex bf was really not good for you but Dirk sounds like he's good for you, that he's not a drinker and that he is interested in simliar things like you are. Hang in there, he'll be home and with you soon. I know it's hard waiting, but the wait is almost over.

Wow great advice for anything sensitive!
Di