[Nikko]

My mom and I were talking yesterday and I was telling her how Dirk is a very neat person, not a slob like my ex. I also said that (which I should not of) that my mom was messy. I said Dirk and I were talking about how I am neat and clean, but he is very organized and how my mom was messy, but it was due to she couldn't do things or see things without her glass's very well when trying to clean up after herself.

Later on, she yelled for me, I went in her room and she said I WANT THIS CLEANED UP - meaning her dinner dish and glass. So I took them to the kitchen into the dishwasher.

Then she said: When Dirk gets here, I am going to tell him that you are BP and crazy and make up stories. Then I shot back with, well I am on the phone with him right now, so I guess you just told him.

He didn't hear, because I was on the phone in my bedroom. She doesn't know that though.

I have been having severe migraines EVERYDAY, I think it is because of the fear of a new relationship and getting hurt, and the fear of what may come out of my mom's mouth.

It's early here, I have errands to run, then I may or may not speak to her, I need to be ready to talk to her and calm. She says she wants me to be happy, yet she acts differently sometimes.

Hugs, Nikko