I am really disappointed in my sister that lives across country from me. I usually call her every day and have not called her in 5 days. She has not called me to check on me or anything. I was somewhat depressed the last I talked to her too about being so isolated. I don't know what I was trying to prove other than people could care less if they heard from me or not or else they would call me. And it also reinforces what my abusive husband would tell me over and over that no one wanted me to bother them. If someone doesn't have kids or grandkids it seems, they don't have anyone. I gave up having kids to care for my mom when she was living while my 2 brothers had their families. My whole family would gather at my house because it was the only wheelchair accessible one in the family for my mom and we had loads of fun. Funny thing, when my mom passed away, everything changed. Everyone stopped coming to my house and since I don't drive across town to their house due to PTSD the good times for me are over. If I do get to see one of my brothers who lives in town it's because I pay van fare to get to his house and back. Life seems so unfair at times.

Well, I'm going to tough it out till 6 and then go to bed.

befuddled2

Dear Barbara,
It is awful when you are feeling lonely.
Could you take a driving class to help build your confidence in driving? Have you tried to work with your counselor about that specifically...it is very isolating if you can't drive yourself to see other people.
Do you have some anti anxiety medication to take to help with your anxiety?
I am sorry that you are feeling down.
When I was feeling down today I made myself go to the gym...I feel better for doing that.
bizi

Hi Bizi,

Glad to hear you made it to the gym. I do drive just about anywhere on my side of town but do not want to drive the interstate to get to my brothers or my cousins. I also get too doped up with anti-anxiety meds to drive while on them. Both my brother and his wife work on my side of town and cannot even drop by after work or something.

befuddled2

Hi BF - I hear you, I have NO sister's or brother's which makes it sad for me.

Nor was I able to have children, which is another sore spot for me.

Being Father's Day, well my Dad died in 1982 and my Step-Dad in 2004.

So, I can sort of feel what you are feeling. I am feeling down today, I guess because it's father's day.

Chin up! Thinking of you.......Hugs, Nikko

Thank you Nikko,

I feel better today. Although I did sleep a lot today. My neighbor Doug was getting in his car the same time I was walking down the parking lot and our paths crossed. I said hi and he said hi back after all this time of not speaking. It made me feel good he didn't ignore me because after all we are neighbors and we need to all get along.

befuddled2

BF - I am glad you are feeling better today, and it's nice that Doug and you crossed path's and said hello.

I hope you have a good day.

Thinking of you, Nikko

Befuddled

Not sure how old you are. Or if you would consider it. But I can think of a couple of ways you could build your own kind of family. I would think of volunteering.

You could work through a local school, or even the boys and girls club.

But you could also locate a church in the area, that might now of a young boy or girl that could use a grandmother figure. I would try that personally.

That you could then maybe become friends with the family. Set up situations
were maybe you could have them over as a family or mom and child for a while. Getting used to you.

Then after a while. YOu maybe could do more.

I know in my area there are many children that don't have true grandparents
that would jump at the chance. Even your local elementary might know of a child that could use the contact.

Donna

Thanks Donna but I am not good with kids even though I like them. Kids will not listen to me at all and they eventually get on my nerves. I have adopted an elderly woman at the nursing home though who has hardly any visitors. I do enjoy talking with the staff while there also. I would possibly like to get a part time job there. I am better with old people than kids. I was the caregiver for my mom when she was alive. I did go see my lady friend this past Friday I think it was.

befuddled2

that is nice and thoughtful of you going to see the elderly woman.

You have a big heart!

Hugs, Nikko

Thanks Nikko. I hope you have a good day today also.

befuddled2