[Mari]

TRIP TO SEE BROTHER

My brother and I spent a lot of time together.

He picked me up at the airport and we drove into town together.
We stopped at a drug store for ice packs to put in freezer when we got back to his place so I could have them for my knee during my visit.

The first night was supposed to be dinner out with
1 brother
2 brother's wife
3 me

But communication signals got crossed so brother and I had a long dinner at a fantastic restaurant all by ourselves.
Longer version: Due to parking issues, brother kept changing where we were going to eat.
He texted some updates to his wife but left his phone in his truck before sending her the last update.
He and I were at a spectacularly fantastic restaurant that was perfect for the two of us hanging out together.

I spent time with him in his garage while he worked on/talked about various projects that keep him occupied.
For example, someone gave him an old bureau/dresser that might have been from the 1950s.
His plan was to glue some cracks in the drawers, sand, paint, and put it on Craig's list for two hundred dollars.
I suggested that he spend two hours on it and charge four hundred dollars. He has his own semi-logical answer not to do the project my way.

He showed me every alteration he made to the very small and very old house (-- took down parts of walls to make a more open floor plan, did this and that, re-did wood work, . . .
(He has a contractor's license along with interest and talent for this stuff.)
He even spoke about why this color and not this color on the walls, showed me his own paintings and why they are in the places that he chose, . .

He and I talked about our family members -- esp his worries about our little brother, Dad's surgery, the hassle Dad has been giving brother re brother's 19 year old son, . . . .

On the last morning after the lake, he and I had breakfast together.
(I had to ask him to stop freaking out the people at the nearby tables after I asked him about steering the boats.
The person in the back is called the "coxen."
It was bad enough that I was already loud and cursed more than the locals.
He switched to "person who steers."

He wanted to talk to me about the three or four years he spent coaching a local college girls rowing team and how much he enjoyed the team's success.
He reminded me that four or five years ago and for three years straight he came in first place in his age group at a regional race for rowing in a one man boat. (Close enough picture to describe what he does when he is in a one man boat: http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/20...nt_9388167.htm )

We had a lot of catching up and I was tired / sleepy and he is always slightly manic.
He "self-medicates" with visual art and music, some alcohol at home, time on projects, and lots and lots of exercise.

I had lots of questions about how things work / how he handles his responsibilities in current job.

His wife was busy/ left us alone/is quiet and not sociable but she was nice
about stuff that mattered like driving me to the public library to print out my boarding pass, doing my laundry, . . .
He and his wife do have wifi but NO TELEVISION in the house.
The family members talk and hangout or, as in my brother's case, stay busy.

If you are still reading, you see that he talked more that I did but I interupted when I wanted and changed subject when I felt like it.

M

[Mari]

Here is a YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcX7qA3DxdQ
Of a one man skulls/rowing event.

(the boats can be of various sizes
1
2
4
6
8


Brother can do all sizes. He likes being in the final (coxen) position because that
person is in complete control of the boat but
I observed that he like the social and teaching aspect of being in bigger boats as well.


The coxen in the boats of two men and above does this:
1 steers and makes decisions.
2 keeps everyone in exact rhythm
3 motivates the others

M

[bizi]

Mari, Thank you so much for sharing your trip with us.
It sounds like you had some real quality time with your brother.
Very happy for you.
have a good day!
bizi

[waves]

Yes it does.

That was funny about freaking people out in the restaurant, btw.

[Mari]

Hubby got selected for jury duty in a civil suit.

He was not paying attention when the judge asked if anyone ever worked for an insurance company
(He did actuarial work at one time. He could have been out of there in a few minutes.)

When the judge told the jurors that they are not to go home to talk to their spouse or the judge could put the in jail,
hubby actually laughed aloud because he was sure that the judge was joking.

Apparently, the case involves technical issues. The judge said after closing arguments that everyone will have a little notebook to write any question
they have.
They lawyers and the judge will decide if the question/s can be answered in open court.

He said that judge also said not to Google any details of the case.
-------------------------------------
At home he asked me what an ATV was.
I said to leave me out of this and that that was an appropriate question for the notebook.

======
I worked to keep him calm and myself calm so that he can
function in his role.

M

[Dmom3005]

Wow, Mari

Good luck with this. I've had to ask to be excused ahead of time so
far each time I was chosen. Derrick usually was going to be in
hospital. I remember one time the judge called me directly. Wanting
to know why I couldn't have someone else stay with him. And also
why I couldn't just leave him for the day. I explained someone had
to be there 24/7 because of the VEEG he was having. That my husband
and I both couldn't be without our paychecks. And that my other
son's were minors. I had no family that I could ask for such a favor.

He finally after a couple more tries to get me to say something that would
show I might be lying let me out.

Donna

[bizi]

What a pain.
Can he still tell them that he forgot he worked in the industry before?
I have gotten out of jury duty before, my pdoc handled it.
bizi

[Mari]

Hubby enjoyed his second day of jury duty although he was wound up and needed me to calm him down.

(I absolutely did not want to hear about the case knowing that it might disturb me.)

I walked him through what to expect the lawyers, experts, judge, bailiff, and other jurors will do Wed.
I told him if he wants to ask questions he has to write them in his notebook
before the jury is sequestered.

He is the the only person in the world who has never seen these:
CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Boston Legal, The Practice

===
He has seen Monk, Colombo, Perry Mason -- which have not prepared him for how the courtroom works.

M

[waves]

Aww, that's cute that you are calming him down. It's kind of amazing that he gets into it though. But maybe it is a particularly interesting case.

A friend of mine served recently who doesn't watch any of that stuff either, and lives kind of apart from the world, telecommutes. He was told what he needed to know about the legal system and courtroom protocol -- prior exposure was not required. My friend might be a bit more cautious in social situations than your husband though -- he certainly took all judge instructions very much to heart. Mostly, my friend was exhausted by the case. It sounds like your hubby is having the opposite reaction!

waves

[Mari]

Waves,

Originally Posted by waves

Aww, that's cute that you are calming him down. It's kind of amazing that he gets into it though. But maybe it is a particularly interesting case.

It's a lawsuit about a traffic accident. The judge "flattered" hubby
the first day by saying that his background/expertise was relevant.
(Hubby responds well to flattery even if everyone else recognizes it as
the judge trying to keep things light.)

Originally Posted by waves

He was told what he needed to know about the legal system and courtroom protocol -- prior exposure was not required.

Hubby's social skills are off and he stinks at listening. Thirdly, he thinks the rules are not really rules . . . .at least that rules do not apply to him.
He asked me why the jurors were not talking in the elevator and why when
he asked someone about the time they were supposed to be back ("Was it 1:00 or 2:00 that they told us?"), the other person said "2:00."
. . . . No small talk.
I asked hubby: "Did the judge specifically say that you are not supposed to talk about the case?"
"Do you think that people are being careful to be quiet until talking with each other is appropriate?"

Originally Posted by waves

My friend might be a bit more cautious in social situations than your husband though -- he certainly took all judge instructions very much to heart. Mostly, my friend was exhausted by the case. It sounds like your hubby is having the opposite reaction![/B]

Hubby likes rules that other people are supposed to follow (rules do not apply to him) and he likes that he is supposed to figure out who was right and who was wrong.
Yesterday, he had already decided who was at fault.
I said that that he will hear the other HALF of the case tomorrow ( today /Wednesday), and that they will still do closing arguments Wednesday as well.

===============
I knew someone else who worked for an insurance company.
They wanted her out of the courthouse as fast as possible.
She was overheard saying some random small talk in the elevator on the way out of the building and was hauled back before the judge and told to be quiet.
====


Hubby was making lots of guesses and had lots of questions.
I flat out refused to speculate for him.
I told him that after the lawyers wrap things up, he will not be able to ask questions. They will only be able to have the transcript read back to them.
If he never asks the questions, and never gets an answer for the record, the answer will not be in the transcript.

He decided he would start the day (today/ Wednesday) with three questions to write down in his notebook. DUH.
The two lawyers and the judge will then confer and decide if the question/s can be answered / whether the jury is allowed to know that info/whether the
info is relevant.

I will be glad when it is over.

M