Kay

I like to think your husband is just worrying about you. And its a good
test on the sobriety part. I have all the faith in you doing this.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Thanks Donna :)

Bobby, you are right. He is possessive. I can understand that to a certain extent since we were separated prior to my s/s attempt. But he's also treating me somewhat like a baby, whereas he hardly lifted a finger to help me out before. I'm 35 and I have a bedtime for Christ's sake.

Kay,

It is nice to be focused on a clearly defined objective.

Doesn't every one have to relearn to drive in the snow each year ? (Joke :):):) )

----
My brother lives in one of those states that had snow on the ground for a month or more last year and I am not sure what happened exactly but he had to go to driving school in order to learn patience --- or whatever skills were prescribed for his issue.

M

wow..do you think he realized how he loved and needed you when you were separated?
bobby

I never really had a problem driving in the snow. But some people see one rain drop and they drive like (expletives) no matter how long they've lived in New England. I'm just out of practice so it makes me nervous now.

My husband worked a 15hr day yesterday and came home around 9pm in a VILE mood. He obviously couldn't sleep like that, so I stayed up with him. But I did take my night meds hoping the Seroquel would help me calm down. He apologized for flipping out later.

He mentioned he needed to take some time off of work because of all the BS. I agreed it was a good idea. Then he said he also needed to take some time off because of everything going on with me lately... I questioned that one, "You need to take time off because you had to drive me to the post office three times in two days?" He said it was also because the class was stupid and weird, he didn't like the idea that I was going, he didn't like the idea of me getting my license back, and things were moving too fast...
We didn't get into a fight. I just listened to what he had to say. I think he's resigned to the fact that I'm going to do it whether he likes it or not, but obviously he's not dealing with it well.

I'll address one very understandable concern first, but it's a mute point now:
I had trouble with intermittent double and blurry vision in my right eye for a couple of yrs. My eye doctor prescribed a pair of glasses with a blackout lens on the right side so I could drive when it happened and it worked out fine. Blah, blah, blah.. When I was going through Lithium toxicity it was happening constantly, but once I stopped taking Lithium, it stopped and I haven't had a problem since. It's yet another thing that nobody could figure out that ended up being a side effect of Lithium, even though it's a known side effect. It still ****** me off that MDs never look at meds as possible causes for medical symptoms. I'll forever be aware now because of everything Lithium did to me.

Here is the rest in a nut shell: He's afraid that if I get my license back I'm going to start going out drinking again, even though I've done very little drinking in the last 9mo since I've been home, and I've been completely sober for over 3mo. and that's very important to me. I'm sure he's also thinking about the fact that when we were separated I slept with someone else. Right now, I have zero contact with other people unless it's at a doctor's appointment or he's there with me. And he obviously likes it that way.

He doesn't like the idea of this class because I'm taking a big step in getting my license back and he knows I'll be around a lot of people (including other men) overnight and he won't be there to supervise me.

Trust me, I would much rather be at home with my husband this weekend. I don't think this is going to be a comfortable experience for me, but I'm doing it nonetheless. I asked permission to wear my wedding ring for the weekend (yes, I had to ask permission) so maybe that will make him feel a little better. Lord knows I'm not looking for any attention in that department.

Generally his concerns in the license department may not seem like an added need for a vacation, but because of his history of temper flare ups regarding his anger surrounding our separation, I guess it makes sense. At least his temper was not directed towards me last night.

I'm sure I haven't heard the last of this. I expect the closer I come to getting my license back, the more likely he is to lash out on me.

At least his back is feeling better. Or it was last night. I don't know how he felt this morning after working 15hrs. and waking up after 4-5hrs sleep.

Yuck. It keeps raining crap.

No, I think the only emotion he felt was anger.

I am sorry you are going through This

Kay,

I wish he were more helpful and supportive.

M

One day at a time

The root of most of this anger is selfishness. The young man becoming a man is ((( selfless ))).

I wish that I have arrived at this ideal, but I still have some of the young man traits, but not like I use to have. I have much more patience, and much less anger. When I'm angry, I know that I'm being immature, and selfish most of the time. Sometimes we need to blow off some steam, but not at another person who had nothing to do with the situation. This does not apply to being angry with Politicians. LOL


What is my motive for being angry? If it's centered in my desires above everyone else, it's me.

Remember to chose your battles, and don't get pulled into a verbal fight. Don't be manipulated by someone else who doesn't have your needs, and interests in mind.

Some people are into control. A controller will try to get you to do everything that they say, and if you don't, they are outraged. A person showing possessiveness, and trying to have dominion over another person is selfish. There are lots of books out there about these subjects.

Sometimes a person shows anger when in need, but is scared of communicating that need.

If you want to get a license, go for it. It is your right, and need. With out a license, you are sort of stranded, except for when you take a cab.

When I stopped drinking I lost all of my drinking friends, but not my life long friend. (((But)))that's okay. You get to know who your real friends are. Unfortunately, a lot of friends out there are fair weather friends. If I said to much please let me know. I've had life long experience, and a angry dad.


I hope that I didn't say to much about this subject. BF:hug::hug::hug: