Kay

I somewhat think your therapist has just picked a subject to see how you
react. If you act like having a drink would be a good idea type thing. And
I'm guessing the MS is the easiest thing to bring up, for asking for help.

I think you might take a list in of the times you have asked for help in this
next week. Even if its just for help on issues you are dealing with and
you post the irritant on here. And people respond.

That is help also.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I am glad that it has improved your mood!
yeah!
bizi

I hope you're right and she's just picking away at the MS because it's the most obvious target. I do have a couple of examples of things I asked my husband to do for me over the weekend. They're minor… the kind of help I usually need and ask for. I hope those examples satisfy her.

You're right, I should just try to hold my tongue and post my frustration here, but she makes it kinda hard. She's seen me in action, so I don't know if a major change in direction is a good idea, but I think I can manage an adjustment or two.

The funny thing is she doesn't doubt my ability to maintain sobriety as long as my bipolar disorder is stable.


I called my neurologist's office and he granted my request to start taking the amantadine twice a day. I forgot to ask when I should take the second dose though. I take my meds at 8. I should have been keeping track of when I've been starting to hit the wall. I don't want to take it too close to bedtime because it can interfere with sleep, so I'm going to try taking it at 2 today. I can play with that though.
It seems to be helping in the morning and early afternoon, which are my better hours, but I always go downhill after that. Taking the second dose will really give me a good idea of what this med can do… :)

oh kay I am really hoping for you.
This has a good chance for you to have better days.
Awesome!
bizi

Kay

I don't think you need to change how you approach her. When it comes
to the examples of how you asked your husband to help you.

Also maybe explain how right now, you work out the taxi's so they are
good times for your MS too. Such as my morning hours are my best.
So if I need to run errands, all in a area. I schedule the taxi at a time
that is my best time period.
Also maybe even that unless you have a doctor's appointment, you just
can't schedule other than middle of afternoon, you don't schedule them
during this time. Because the down time is better for you. And you
don't schedule more than one or two a week in that period. Even if
it means a extra week for a doctor. Use her sessions right now
as a example.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Kay,

Your posts make the case for how much people with MI (or any chronic condition really) have to work to get good care.

You have remarkable patience, people skills, and consistency --- what with
your patiently plugging away to take care of this so that things can be
set straight again.


M

I saw my regular tdoc yesterday. It was good to see her. She wasn't exactly in agreement with all of my counselor's opinions or approach either.

Here's what I got out of my session:

Learning how to be proactive in my mental health care and to advocate for myself there is fairly new and has been a trial by fire. It hasn't been tested over a long period of time, so I can understand her concerns about that.
But the comparison between that and my MS isn't equal. I've had years to adapt to living with MS and learning my limitations. I've shaped my life in a way that I don't need much help. As a result I've become pretty independent.
I can't help but feel dejected when she repeatedly addresses both points because it feels like she's dismissing all the hard work I've done in both departments. As a result, I get defensive.


I have let the counselor know that I'm at my best in the early hours of the day, that's when I'm most active, and it's usually when I schedule all my appointments. Today's appointment with her is at 2pm (I have no idea what shape I'll be in). Our usual time is 1. I take what's offered.


I had a good morning on Tuesday, and took the second dose of amantadine for the first time. I got through the hours when I'm usually compelled to lay down for a nap without issue, but I hit the wall hard around 6pm… too late to take a nap and way too early to go to bed.
Unfortunately, it didn't do a thing for me at any point yesterday. I ended up getting messy because I skipped my nap because my husband wanted to eat dinner early and I was afraid I wouldn't wake up on time.
My main problem is the afternoon and evening hours. I think improving upon the severity of that problem is probably going to be asking too much of 50mg, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. I see the neurologist on the 21st. In the meantime, I'll just keep documenting my progress.

We ordered Chinese food last night. I gave each of the cats a piece of pork from the fried rice. Rocky wouldn't eat his (and he'll eat anything) … we should have the cats test our food before we eat it from now on… It was bad. It was a new place- first/only time.

I am glad that you saw your tdoc and that it was a good visit.
Maybe she would be available via email or even a quick phone call for some more support or just a quick check in if possible.
maybe email would be best????
bizi

Tdoc's actually going away for a few weeks because her daughter is having a baby. I have an appointment with her in a month. She's recommended someone if I need to be seen while she's away.

She communicates with pdoc and has called me when she's heard I was in crisis in the past. She's offered the same kind of telephone support if I need it, but I would only take her up on that offer if I was in crisis again. I don't feel like I'm in need of in-depth therapy at the moment since I'm stable, but I do call for earlier appointments when I need to.

After today I still have (hopefully only) 2 more sessions with my substance abuse counselor to look forward to…

It's about 9:30am now and it's safe to say that the amantadine has decided it's not going to do jack for me today. That spells bad news for my 2pm appointment with her. I'm on my fourth cup of coffee, but I'm feeling so ****** that I'm actually entertaining the thought of taking a nap now (I got up at about 6am) so I won't be totally out of it at 2. I don't want her to see me too messy. I don't know what to do…

my vote is to go for the nap!
((((HUGS))))
bizi