i am sorry you are going through this. i wish there was a way you could be kind to yourself
bobby

Good for you for blowing off the BS meeting.

I'm sorry you are feeling so miserable, Mari,
I hope you start feeling better soon

My past two days busy and barely able be awake


Wed early afternoon went well because I was carried along by the energy of others.
Later, for the next event, I was confused about where I was supposed to be -- sat around waiting late afternoon when I could have driven home.

===========



Thurs a.m. I did not know how I was going to make it with little sleep except it was the last big day . . . . and that later days would be easier.
I went to a meeting that had a specific out come that was important to me.
Everyone was weird.

Then a colleague I do not usually work with showed up and did the "heavy lifting" and I was so relieved and so happy.
Afterwards, she and I laughed and talked a little.



Later in the afternoon Thurs, I bought some snacks for myself and others and hung out mostly by myself and reviewed to prepare for the next meeting.

For that meeting, all of us were bone tired and got through it anyway. It was good when it was over.

Lastly and way after dark, I cleaned out Work Buddy's office. He still has crap in there so twice a year, I take out more stuff. I threw a small book shelf's
worth of books over a 2nd story railing.
When I went down the stairs later, I piled them up near the garbage pail --- probably against some rule about how one takes care of garbage.


==
I keep my space perfectly organized and reasonably clean, and, because I spend time in his office and see his space as an extension of mine, I need his office to be reasonably clean.


It is good fung shui that my spaces "make sense" to me and a twice a year ritual to throw out stuff.

M

Wow, It sounds like you've been super busy, Mari! I'm glad you were able to get through it all with a little help from others.

I this means you get a little time off after all of this and some much needed sleep

Glad that you got thru the meetings little sleep too. Now you cn really sleep! Here is wishing you wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Having a hard time today with email and stuff.

Angry. Feel like I could hurt stupid people, any people.

Forgot what it was like to sleep.


M

I hate dealing with stupid people... sometimes it takes every fiber of my being to hold my temper and not tell them to **** off. I think I need a punching bag.

I am so very very very very depressed.

'Among other things, . . . . thinking of losses of people to deaths or losses of friendships

. . . . .thinking of how limited (weak) my connections are with family, or anyone, . . .

How are managing your lamictal and other meds right now Mari?

I think a lot about the friendships and family members I've lost and the rifts that exist in my family... I'm very isolated. And it leaves me feeling very sad...
My husband is my anchor during these times. Maybe yours can be one for you, too.


Kathryn

if i can when i am not too depressed i think that i am not alone and that God is always with me and nobody or nothing can take away God from me. It is so rough being bipolar and brilliant. I am talking about you. You see too much.
The depression doesn't help you process it in a positive light.
bobby