[OhKay]

I'm happy to hear that your mom is getting stronger.,, that must ease your mind about her being at home alone a bit. I hope that means she can stay at home for a long time now, but I am glad that everyone's on board for that move to assisted living when and if necessary.

Keep the good news coming Donna!

[Dmom3005]

She says I'm the only one that really visits my sisters don't have time it seems.
I know the one sister really gets on her nerves, so she would rather she not stay long. One sister has the eye issues, and the teens with autism and other issues. So its hard for her to get there other than when school is going on.
The other sister uses her working as the reason she isn't available to help.

That one we knew all along. I have three nieces that have stayed with her and come to visit a lot too. But they all have kids or jobs.

Donna

[bizi]

Just an FYI donna,
make sure your mom has a living will. something in writing what her medical wishes are should she be hospitalized. Would she want to be given cpr or put on a vent? tube feedings if that should arise. Unless it is in writing you will fight your other siblings about what is best for your mom.
If she decides a head of time then that makes your job easier if ever you should need that. We had that happen with jeffs dad. His mom was contemplating putting a feeding tube in but jeff dug up the living will and it said no feeding tubes.
So she had to honor his wishes.
bizi

[OhKay]

I have a living will because of the MS. I know that if it was written now someone may question it down the road, but it was written years ago when my sanity wasn't in question. It's very specific (because of potential scenarios witnessed while working in hospitals). My husband, sister, and brother each have a copy and they've agreed to respect my wishes. My family is so dysfunctional I don't want any infighting and I don't want anyone to feel badly because they make a decision to do/not do something. I didn't leave much left up to the imagination.

[Dmom3005]

I imagine she does. But I'll check on that.

Donna

[Mari]

Kay, Your post made me think about the living will in a new way.
--
I had been thinking that I could trust Hubby and would put off dealing with it for a while.
Your talk of siblings made me think about how Hubby could go first and
I could be left with a bunch a siblings squabbling -- or worse, not paying attention.

--
I had a close friend in a diabetic coma on a feeding tube for seven or eight days. The docs were not hopeful.
I was sitting with her one morning when she came out of it -- I could tell because she was moving differently and her eyes opened.
I took her hand and told her she was in the hospital and being taken care of.
I asked her to blink twice if she understood. I had her do it again. She blinked twice.
I did not alert the doc. I did call her family and they came about 90 mins later and eventually alerted the doc (everyone
thought that I had already alerted the doc)
By the time, the doc saw her several hours after "waking up," she was able to squeeze his hand when he asked.


---
This seems like a legal mess I have to deal with and pay for -- it is hard because I do not even know what I want for myself.
I wonder if lawyers specialize in this or if the documents are pretty standard for most people and not too complicated to think about.

========
My brain is so f-ing addled that I cannot even handle a call about my bank card. And showing up in person is worse.


=========
Postscript:
Never mind. I am so overwhelmed. It's a wonder I can figure out how I can find clean enough clothes to put
on so I can drive to work.


M

[bizi]

sorry to overwhelm you mari, hope you have an uneventful day.
bizi

[OhKay]

Lawyers can ask you standard questions (life support, tube feeding, etc) without getting into minutia. There are also more in depth issues that you can get into if you have an experienced lawyer and that is the direction you want to go in.

My will is very specific because of my experience, but not everyone goes into such detail. My lawyer said some people make really odd requests.