[bizi]

sorry kay, I did not think that lithium helped with depression at all?
bizi

[OhKay]

Lithium is sometimes used in conjunction with other meds to treat depression. I guess seroquel is sometimes used in the same way, too. I don't know if they are used alone for it though.


My husband has gotten upset with me in the past for letting him sleep too late, so I started trying to wake him up at 9:30am, but he didn't get up until sometime after 11. He was hung over from Friday night (when he was obnoxious).

On my way out to Rite Aide to buy hair color and magnesium citrate, I asked him if he needed anything, and he asked me to buy beer (the liquor store is next door). He wouldn't go with me, and I reluctantly broke my self-imposed rule of not buying alcohol.

The football game started at 1pm, and despite my pleas not to, he started drinking at kickoff. I kept asking him to slow down, but he wouldn't. He was obnoxious by halftime, and passed out by 5pm. I was bull****.

I didn't enjoy the game because he was too drunk to know what was going on, but he was yelling and swearing at the TV anyway. He didn't know who had the ball half the time.

If I didn't buy him the beer, he wouldn't have started drinking as early, but it would have started a huge fight. He would have paused the game at some point, and gone out to the liquor store himself anyway. I should have postponed my trip to the drugstore, but I wanted to be home before the game started.

I knew he wouldn't wake up, so making dinner was a waste of my time. I ordered a pizza and tried to wake him up a few times to get him to eat something to no avail.


I woke up to his alarm at 3:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. He was in the bathroom when I went into the living room to take a klonopin and an antacid to help me get back to sleep. I forgot to put on a shirt and the binds were open a little lol. He came out of the bathroom, and asked me what I was doing, and seemed ******… ? Oh well.

I was able to get 3 more hours sleep. 10:30pm-6:30am… not bad at all.

I'm sure when he comes home he's going to be convinced I was being a ***** last night. He has a hard time accepting it's a reaction to his behavior. I don't drink anymore, which makes his behavior during these episodes far less attractive, and I have less patience to deal with it.

[bizi]

I can't imagine how lonely this makes you feel.
I don't know....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Mari]

Kay

Sorry to hear that you missed enjoying the game.

His reaction to the window event is probably common even it is unsettling.
'Wish he would lighten up so that you can do what you want/need to do.

Mari

[OhKay]

I colored my hair. This was my first time trying to hide grays (really whites). I bought "natural light brown" but it ended up coming out brassy anyway… I absolutely hate it. I see my hairdresser of thirty years at noon today and will ask her when it's safe to recolor, and if she has any tips. Hopefully I didn't screw it up so badly that she has to fix it. I can't afford a professional job right now.


When my husband came home from work yesterday he apologized for Sunday and said he would never do that again. He said he slept from 5pm Sunday night straight through to 3:30am Monday morning when his alarm went off, and he woke up still feeling drunk, and considered calling in sick to work.

At 1am this morning, he yelled at me to wake up… he couldn't sleep and felt the need to share that with me. He was too hot and in a panic about it. He was frustrated because I was out of it and slurring my words, and didn't find any of my suggestions like turning up the fan in the bedroom, or trying to sleep on the couch in the AC helpful.

He got out of bed, had a massive temper tantrum, and said he wanted to punch the wall. I said "don't you dare." He warned me not to test him, and threw the laundry hamper against the wall forcefully a few times instead.

He went to sit on the couch in the living room and I went followed. I looked up the outside temperature on the weather app on my phone, which said it was 66, and asked if the window was open. He never even checked… it wasn't, so he opened it. A little while later we returned to bed. I don't know if he got any sleep or not because I was out like a light.

I've told him in the past that if he can't fall asleep by 11, he can take a Benadryl or a Simply Sleep if he hasn't been drinking. He didn't drink last night…

I know damned well he was going through withdrawals. He was probably going through withdrawals vs. feeling hung over during the day as well, but mentioning any of that last night wouldn't have been constructive, and would have made me a target of his anger. We've talked about this before, and you better believe we'll be talking about it again when he gets home today. Drinking that heavily for stretches and stopping cold turkey is dangerous…


The last three days have been miserable for me. I'm hoping that he can recognize that at least the last two are a red flags that he needs to get a handle on his drinking.

[bizi]

I am so sorry kay!
((((((HUGS))))))
He sounds scary to me. Awful to live like this.
bizi

[OhKay]

I didn't get an apology.

When I got up from my nap at 4pm, my husband was home and already drinking a beer. I asked him if he had gotten any sleep, and he said maybe an hour. I talked to him about the alcohol withdrawals, and he just listened.

He didn't mention anything about the incident the night before, and I wasn't just going to let it go, so I asked him if he thought it was fair of him to wake me up so I could just watch him freak out. He said no, but he "just needed to vent" and I was the only one there. And then he justified it by saying he listens to me vent every time I "have a bad experience at the grocery store."

He said he hates his job and is always worried about money. He made it seem like I was detached or disinterested. I always ask about his day, and listen to him when he needs or wants to talk. He always plays the martyr.

His comparison between his stressors and my "bad experience(s) at the grocery store" are telling. Apparently he thinks my life is easy.

He only had a couple of beers last night. I ended up giving him 25mg of Benadryl before he went to bed. He was in a bad mood this morning, but he said he slept well when I asked.

He needs to see a pdoc and an mdoc for his issues, but he refuses, and there's nothing I can do but worry and deal with his bull****.


I was hoping to put off grocery shopping until tomorrow, but we're out of TP. I think it would be silly to go buy some today, and do the rest of the shopping tomorrow, so I'll suck it up. I guess if I have a bad experience, I'll just keep it to myself.

I'm going back on the South Beach Diet.

[bizi]

heavy sigh
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Mari]

Kay,

Having to see the martyr role play out would be annoying.

Sometimes people change -- could be little bits here or there or in three or
four big moves. We can hope for change.


M

[OhKay]

When my husband got home from work yesterday, the door barely closed behind him before he went into a tirade about his job. He's at his breaking point. They have him consistently driving 3+ hours a day and he's had it. The other guys are working closer to home. He hasn't spoken up, so his boss figures he doesn't mind, but in the meantime he's let it fester. He's also more than frustrated by disorganization in the company. He's intensely unhappy.

He said he's going to talk to his boss, but I don't know if he can keep his cool. If I were to tell him to try to stay calm, I know he would tell me not to treat him like a child. I'm afraid he's going to quit, and we definitely can't afford that.

He talked about finding another job, but doesn't want to work in the same field. I don't know if he could find something unrelated for the same pay. I will look online today to see if I can find something that might appeal to him. He has a friend who owns his own company, who he used to work for, and would probably take him on at his current pay, but I don't know if my husband is interested in doing that kind of work anymore.

He said he didn't sleep again last night. His anxiety is keeping him awake. He only had a couple of beers last night. I think he should try taking the 25mg of Benadryl before bed as long as he hasn't been drinking heavily until his anxiety quiets down. I know this is not ideal, but lack of sleep is making everything worse.

This morning he was in a terrible mood. He said he needs a vacation… or something. I told him to call out sick tomorrow. He said, "It's just one more ****ing day."

His temper is alarming, but I feel so badly that he is suffering. I wish I could help more, but I don't know what to do, and even if I did, I don't think he would let me.




I ****ed up my right hip (the good side) yesterday bringing in groceries. I'm not supposed to take NSAIDS because I'm on lithium, but the Tylenol did nothing, so I ended up talking Aleve, which didn't help either. I had my leg elevated and out to the side. My husband never asked about it. He would have considered it nothing compared to what he was going through, so I never mentioned it.

It feels worse this morning. There are things I probably could/should be doing around the apartment today, but I'm going to rest. I'll probably break out the heating pad to see if that helps at all.


Today is day 1 back on the South Beach Diet. My weight this morning is 166lb. I'm going to fry up a batch of turkey bacon and make a salad so those things will be ready for breakfasts and lunches for a couple of days.