[OhKay]

I woke up at 6 vs 5 this morning, my anxiety isn't as high as it's been, and its responding to 1mg of klonopin, so right now I'm feeling better

With enough klonopin, I was feeling less overwhelmed, and was able to do several things yesterday that I think will make me feel like I have more control, so I can manage my anxiety better:

1) I decided to start the accounting of our finances going back to Thursday when my husband got his last check, rather than waiting until his next check is deposited Friday. The sooner I figure out where the money is going, the sooner we can start making changes. I already have some ideas that will help.

2) Our cable bill is astronomical, and yesterday I was finally able to convince my husband to let me change our bundle. He's going to be home for 4 days during the upcoming weekend because of the holiday, so I will wait until the following Monday to change it. I've already picked out the package I want, but won't know how much it will cost, or how much we'll be saving, until I call to make the change, but I know it will make a BIG difference.

3) I decided to forgo my privacy when writing my response to the assistant property manager because she'll find out about the extent of my disability when/if I present the office with a letter trying to break the lease on that basis anyway. Some advance knowledge on her part probably isn't a bad thing either.

4) I've decided that I can't keep searching for apartments now. It's getting me all worked up and causing a lot of anxiety for nothing because a move would be months away and we aren't ready for it financially yet.

5) I've been worrying that my brother won't be coming to Thanksgiving because he doesn't want to see me. I texted him yesterday to ask if he would be coming. He said he wasn't, but he'd like to to get together to have lunch soon. Although I won't get to see him on Thanksgiving, it was a much better response than I expected, and was by far the biggest relief of all


I'm going to keep trying to exercise control over what I can so that it doesn't add to the big stuff that I can't.

[bizi]

I am glad that you will get together with your brother for lunch!
You are making good sense thru all of this. we are spending money like crazy going out to eat....
sigh
love you,
bizi

[OhKay]

A few hours' work on Saturday gave me about 24 hours of relief, but now I'm a ****ing mess again. I have a bunch of stuff to do, but I can't get my **** together and figure what to do about it. I'm no better off after 1mg of klonopin. I can't/won't drive if I take more than that, so I think I will watch some cartoons to see if they can calm me down enough to come up with some kind of a plan…

[bizi]

How about taking some benadryl?
How do you respond to that?
bizi