I'm glad you aren't getting sick, and that you were able to get back to bed

I have a stash of klonopin too. My script is still for 3mg a day and I haven't needed that much in a while, up until recently.

I don't blame you for not wanting to run out. It's something you obviously have a need for and have no other way of getting...

So… you are no longer considering changing pdocs?

heavy sigh...
thanks kay.
There are not any good options for me if I need to stick to a female pdoc who takes my insurance. Other wise I would need to see a male. Which I am not to keen on that idea.
It is what it is.
Hopefully we can just go back to her letting me manage my own bipolar and her just prescribing me meds. That is my hope. When I can no longer manage then I will ask for her help.
bizi
who ate and drank too much last night and had a hard time sleeping.....

1 beer=a triple IPA 13%
2 glasses of plum wine.
hibachi dinner, duck
cream soup, fruit salad, fried rice, grilled veggies.
Very full
We went to celebrate our best friends daughters birthday. She turned 19 on bastile day and her parents are out of town working still for a couple more weeks.
So she has been alone going to summer school and working at a coffee shop.
she is a great gal. Smart funny. only child.
She helps me with my business a few times a year doing office work that I hate to do. I asked her if she was available and she is. so that is great!
bizi

Don't be too hard on yourself

I find it really hard not to eat too much at the hibachi grills. The ones here aren't as sophisticated as yours… no duck

It was so nice of you to see your friend's daughter on her birthday. I'm glad she's available to help you with some of your paperwork.

I wish your pdoc situation was different. Our pdocs should be a big part of our support systems, not people we want to avoid having to deal with

Lennon and Maisy - "Ring of Fire" | Live at the Grand Ole Opry | Opry - YouTube

This made me smile this morning on facebook.
bizi

I confessed to jeff this morning that I have sneaked drinks before he got home.
A big 32 ounce "white russian" with ever clear. Drank it in no time right before he came home. I drank one of his IPA'S the night before and I don't even like them!
I don't drink and drive anymore....
Yesterday i decided that I would go to whole foods and have dinner there and drinks as jeff was having dinner out with friends. He would pick me up afterward and then we would go get my car in the morning....I have a pact with one of the bar tenders there. Donna. I wrote out a note saying that I wanted her to not serve me any more than 2 beers. So before going into the bar I had picked up a 500ml of wine bottle. I did not know if she was working or not so I drank the entire bottle of wine in minutes flat out in my car, before going in. She was working and it was steak night so I had a big steak and baked potato with butter and sour cream and some spinach I finished the entire meal , even the skin of the potato! And then had a piece of chantilly cake. I had 2 1/2 pints of beer, one of which was a strong ipa same one as last night that I only drank half of and gave the rest to my hubby who enjoyed it. I only drank it because it was on special and it had a high percentage alcohol content, would get a buzz quicker.
sigh
My scrub pants are so tight....You should not be able to see a bulging panty line...how embarrassing.....

I am a mess....
bizi

I seriously think my bipolar is out of whack.
Too much eating, drinking, being on the internet....
The last time I was hypomanic I drank for 5 weeks straight. then was able to not drink for a month. I was in better control.
I have been dealing with alcohol issues for about 3 years. I know that I want to be a moderate drinker but am not sure I can do that. I usually end up binging. 5 or more drinks in a setting.
bizi

Bizi,


Bipolar is not a do-it-yourself thing. We need our psychiatrists.

Call any pdoc and get some med changes.

M

I logged back in to let you know that I have been thinking about you
a lot lately and want the very best for you.


We are used to trying to manage the bipolar by ourselves and usually
we manage to pull our selves back to stability.
That works most of the time.

At other times, we come to the realization that we need to get the pdocs more closely involved.


Wishing you stability and wellness.

Mari

That is very sweet of you.
I hope you are not worrying about me, you have enough to worry about.
We have been "friends" for many many years, I appreciate your friendship
I so appreciate having a safe non judgemental place to come lay my truths out...exposing the underbelly of my life.
We all have our demons that we deal with or not.
We do manage as best as we can.
I am afraid of change. Different meds may cause me to gain weight which I don't want to do. I have already gained 20+ pounds this year.
Last night I chose to stay home and not join jeff to go for a beer at whole foods. It felt good to not drink and sleep soundly last night.
Tonight is trivia so we will see how I manage.
Thank you for your care and concern.
bizi