Re My Father:
A short time ago, my father sent each of my siblings and me a
card with a check (decent sized -- worth a little
more than a month's pay for hubby and me) telling us
he hoped we used it for something fun and special and

telling us not to visit him and Mom.


He also said in the card that he and mom enjoy visiting each
of us once a year.

I called my father to thank him for the money and card
and he said the same thing as the card -- use it for yourselves.
Do not come here.
Two siblings I phoned said that they clearly understood him when he said:
do not come see them.

Sis said it has to do with his control issues.
The New England brother laughed with me on the phone.

I was upset. It helped that brother laughed with me.


M

I'm feel very badly that your father felt like he could... buy you off/away from him? No matter his logic or reasoning, and Lord only knows what it was, I would feel rejected

I'm sorry you had to go through that, Mari
But I'm really glad that your brother was able to help you cope in a way by getting you to laugh about the situation

Father runs high/almost manic sometimes. And drinks.


My sister moved across the country with my parents about 15 years ago
when she was out of a job and depressed.

Eventually she found a boyfriend, married him, and they bought a house across
the street from Mom and Dad. Parrents LOVE the husband and are mostly
o.k. with my sister
. . . ( . . .she nags them a little about things like how they
need to speak up when they go to doctor appts. . . . . . )


It might be that my talk of quitting my job precipitated his sending money/card
Or it could be about one or both of the brothers.

I will f*****g ask him when they come at Christmas time.

=-=-
Not sure I will be in the mood to talk to him. He is always an ********* that
we have learned handle since we were children.


ANGRY right now.
Maybe will try not to think about it.

M

I am sorry it is all so upsetting.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

My father is a bipolar alcoholic. He's ridiculous. Occasionally my brother and I (my sister is totally estranged from him) get checks from him that I call "blood money," usually after he's done something inexcusable.

Do you feel like you father may be trying to keep you away because he's trying to hide something? Just a thought.

I don't blame you for being angry
But I hope you can manage not think about it too much/too often

I do not know what he is up to.

Too many of his relatives (his mother's AND father's sides) have dx'ed alzheimer's but he brings that up/talks about once in awhile.

And as in my Mom's family, a good deal of mood disorders too.


M

At work, even when I am not tired, I feel off -- I think
that the depression is messing with my brain's ability to focus.

=-=-

A little while ago when I was brushing my teeth,
I closed my eyes to focus sort of and saw one of those little hallucinations.

Sometimes I can remind myself that it is just my mind playing games and I can ignore it.
But this was a scary one and now I am not going to bed.


M