[OhKay]

Today is laundry day. I don't think I have to say anymore.

One, or more, of our neighbors has found their way onto our (password protected) Wi-Fi network. It's a little involved/complicated to explain how Corey figured that out, but the problems started when new neighbors moved in.
I changed our Wi-Fi password, and immediately after, before anyone else could could join our network, I changed our online baking password, too.
I want to buy something to enhance the security of our Wi-Fi network (because that's what the cable/internet company will tell me to do), but Corey wants to wait to see if the problems start happening again

He has been drinking VERY heavily lately. I'm concerned, but I'm also upset and annoyed with him. It's no fun to have to deal with him when he's like that, especially so often.

He's spoiled, and has been doing nothing more to help me. He's not going to "get it" until I really hurt myself.

[Mari]

Hi, Kay,


Changing the passwords probably solved the issue. I hope so.

Is most of the help that you mention re laundry? Is it possible to
do smaller loads by going twice a week instead of once a week?
Is there a group/organization (an app?) that would pick up your laundry, wash and dry and bring it home for you?

Do you qualify for more assistance from your state department of whatever?

Do get him to help you with what you need. He will step up.

I do not know how to stop someone from drinking and I can only imagine that
living with a drinker makes daily life hard.

We have tons of drinkers in my family and my father is one of them. It's not good for him.
One of my brothers drinks too, but we are all relieved that it's legal and that he stays out of jail.

M

[OhKay]

After almost 3 weeks of not doing the laundry, I told Corey I needed his help doing it, but then I kinda let him off the hook. But after the last time I did it, I told him I'm AFRAID to do it by myself, but it fell on deaf ears. I wish someone could take video of me doing it, and show it to him... that would be a wake up call.

I am taking less to the laundromat. The problem with that is I'll be forever drowning in laundry. The plan is to go twice a week, but it is so physically draining, I don't know if I can do that. I was so exhausted yesterday I was out of my mind, but I could not take a nap because my legs wouldn't stop going despite taking 10mg of Baclofen. I'm garbage today... had plans to go out to run errands, but that's not happening.

I don't qualify for any kind of aid, and I'm unaware of any residential laundry pick up services in my area. If there are any, they're probably cost-prohibitive.

I would accept any kind of help from Corey. He knows I need it. Even if he would just make some kind of effort to clean up after himself, that would help.
He works hard, but all he does he gets home (aside from making a mess) is:
-Take out the garbage, but he refuses to tie it up
-Carry in the groceries and anything else that's too heavy for me
-Bring the dirty laundry down to the car and carry the laundry bags back up to the apartment when I get home from the laundromat
-Other things that suit his wants and/or needs

I'm not kidding. That's all he does.

I'm a recovered alcoholic, and I have a whole family of alcoholics, including both of my parents. I know you can't make someone else stop drinking. I accept that. I do let him know when he's getting out of control tho. He didn't drink last night, so hopefully he will slow down for a while.


BTW, so far since changing the Wi-Fi password, we haven't detected anyone on our network who shouldn't be there. Hopefully, that lasts.

[bizi]

there are laundry mats here that charge by the pound, you just drop it off and then they do the laundry and you pick it up. Maybe that is some kind of an option for you? maybe they could put the laundry in several smaller bags???? don't know
Hope you are napping now.
bizi

[Mari]

One option:

Stop washing his clothes.


When he decides he needs clean clothes, he can do them himself or
ask if he can help you.

Sorry about what you are going through.


M

[OhKay]

I ended up smoking MJ vs. taking the Baclofen yesterday afternoon because I was really banged up, and pot helps with pain, but Baclofen does not. Then I had a nice nap. I can't do that every day tho. I don't want to turn into a pot head.

If I did drop-off service, I would sill have to carry the laundry bags in and out of the laundromat, which is my biggest problem.

My husband is not like yours'. I hadn't done laundry for 3 weeks because I didn't think I could/should do it, and I was still hoping to get better before I tried. Corey was down to one raggedy pair of undies and a bathing suit, and that wasn't enough of an incentive for him to go with me voluntarily, even though I told him I needed him to go with me, and he initially agreed. So I broke down and went myself.

I'm always letting him off the hook, and I've spoiled him, and that's part of the reason why I'm stuck doing everything now. The rest is laziness and apathy. Our relationship is very dysfunctional.

So much for slowing down... he came home with an 18-pack yesterday and started drinking before 3pm. There are 3 beers left in the fridge.


The swimwear came yesterday. The medium size long-sleeve swim top is very pretty and fit me well, but the sleeves really aren't long enough to hide my wrist scars. I ordered the large as well. The sleeves are really long, but it's also really big on me, especially for something to wear in the water. I ordered a different one that has thumb holes, so it will definitely cover my scars, but I could only get it in a large... I hope it works out better cuz don't know how much more messing around with all this s*** I'm up for.

[bizi]

the one with the holes for thumbs sounds perfect!
bizi

[OhKay]

It does sound perfect, but I could only get a large in the black, so I hope they run really small. They make a navy blue though, and there are a couple of other ones in a similar style on Amazon. I just hate this buying/returning cycle.

My little brother (30 yo and not little lol) is graduating from college on Mothers Day. My mother has been gone going on 21 years, but he said he wants my sister, aunt, and me there because we are all like mothers to him
I don't know how I will manage it walking like I am now, but I will be going.
I have no idea what to get him. I was thinking of throwing him some cash or getting him a fine bottle of champagne. I have no other ideas. Men don't appreciate the same kind of mommntos women do. My brother certainly doesn't.

I was feeling better yesterday, so I ran some errands and vacuumed the rugs in the bedrooms. I feel like I need to take advantage of the good days I have, but I always push my luck. I will never learn.

I'm getting my nails done this morning, and it's lottery day. I'll be going home right after. Maybe I'll be able to do some light cleaning, but right now, it's not looking good.

I have to get in the shower! I'm running late!

[Mari]

How's it going, Kay?

Do you follow any sports besides football?


I so much wish I was in a market that had a good baseball team.



N

[OhKay]

It's funny you brought up sports, Mari. I decided to buy my brother a gift certificate to a ticket agency for his graduation. He goes to several Red Sox and Pats games a year, so he will make good use of it.

I used to be a DIE HARD Red Sox fan... never missed a game, knew everyone's stats, listened to sports radio all the time, etc. Corey doesn't enjoy baseball, so I would DVR games and watch them after he went to bed. But that was when I was not sleeping at night...
LONG story short, I can't stay up that late anymore, and I had to give up my Red Sox. I could DVR the games and watch them during the day, but I'm afraid of being sucked back in. It was an addiction. I miss my baseball tho.

The swim top with the thumb holes arrived. The style is perfect, but it's way too big, so I will have to return it, too. I will have to be VERY careful about the next one I order because I'm NOT doing another f***ing return.

I told Corey last night:
" Last weekend you did yard work for (your step father), and this weekend is Mothers Day. Next weekend I NEED YOUR HELP. I want to take ALL the laundry we have to the laundromat so I can catch up. It's unreasonable to expect me to go twice a week. I really shouldn't be going by myself AT ALL."

He agreed.
This time, I'm going to hold his feet to the fire. It won't get me out of doing laundry by myself, but I won't feel so overwhelmed, and I won't feel pressured to take so much to the laundromat every time. I'm proud of myself for asserting myself. I will remind him of the conversation in case he was drunker than I thought he was when we talked about it, which sometimes happens.

I colored my hair yesterday morning and cleaned the tub/shower afterwards. I laid down for a nap around noon, and by the time I woke up at 5:30pm, the mag. citrate I took about 10hrs before started working.
I needed all that sleep. I've been running errands, have been trying to get cleaning done, and missed a nap somewhere along the way.

I have a lot to do today, but I don't see how I can get it all done. If I do too much today, I will have a harder time getting around at my brother's graduation tomorrow.