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-   -   out of control (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/251129-control.html)

mymorgy 09-06-2018 02:28 PM

I have been so depressed that I haven't be able to read or post. I love you all and thank you so much! I finally was able to read just a little. Once I am able to start reading more I think my depression will get better.
love
bobby

Mari 09-07-2018 12:49 AM

Bobby,

I hope that your depression lifts.

M

mymorgy 09-08-2018 07:12 AM

my nephew added to my depression. I didn't hear from him all year. then he sent me a form letter wishing me a happy new year. then he sent me another personal letter asking if I was going to the Chabad. I wrote back and said I don't feel comfortable and and said money was tight and can only walk two blocks so only take cabs to doctors. just wrote another letter saying I am a spiritual Jew and not a ritual Jew and the rabbis who visited me really enjoyed talking to me and I them but I was embarrassed about my family.

mymorgy 09-08-2018 08:27 AM

my nephew just wrote me and said he understood the difference between ritual and spiritual, He said we might get together for lunch or dinner after the holidays. I said he didn't have to.

OhKay 09-08-2018 10:54 AM

I'm sorry that your nephew added to your depression :hug::hug::hug:

Which one is this? Not that it matters... they're all little s***s.

mymorgy 09-08-2018 11:41 AM

this is the oldest one.

mymorgy 09-09-2018 12:35 PM

I have no purpose

bizi 09-09-2018 04:40 PM

immediately the thought came tomy mind...who is going to take care of your kitty cats?
(((((HUGS)))))
you are loved here and would be missed terribly.
bizi

Dmom3005 09-09-2018 04:47 PM

Well then lets find a purpose. Your kitty cats are one.

To come here and talk to us is another.

To talk to Robert and the other friends of your is another.

So now lets see if we can find you another one.
What can we find for you to do that you think is a purpose.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

mymorgy 09-10-2018 08:36 AM

Thank you so much. Last night I took my friend out to dinner for her birthday. she is my best friend and pays my rent. what a friend. she says she is happy she is in a position to do it and she is not rich. I tried not to talk about my depression and let her talk. She never had a weight problem but has become a vegetarian and has lost 15 pounds and is now thin and looks great. She has acid reflux so can't eat a lot of foods. she loves cheese but cannot eat it etc.
she realized last night that she could drink lol.
I called my friend who I hadn't spoken to in 23 years and when I was speaking to her I wasn't depressed. As I said she looks beautiful and looks in her fifties or sixties with her blondish hair and beautiful body. She told me she only sleeps four hours a night and has IBS and has to have a colonoscopy on Friday for them to see if anything else is going on. I told her how xanax is helping me get six hours of sleep whereas until recently I was only getting three or four hours. she says she has xanax but hasn't been using it. the ibs is giving problems leaving the house. Her daughter and son take klonopin. I told her I had four lovely dreams about her and she said she was going to call me in another week if she hadn't heard from me. I am really attracted to other people's problems. I was an excellent listener when I was a psychologist and still remember so much from the past. I am really f@#ked up big time. She said she would call me later. Right now I am still not depressed because I feel connected with her and not isolated. I don't understand it really. I can be supportive.


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