I'm okay...
Just a long day.

Glad to hear that you are ok, Kay.
It really was a lot.:eek:


Sending good thoughts.


M

All of the doctors I see regularly understand that my mental health comes first and I need to be on the medications I'm on. I just don't know what a surgeon will say, especially because of the side effects I've been experiencing.
I can't stop taking the Seroquel for a couple of days. If I miss my night meds for even a night, I go through very unpleasant withdrawals.

The problems with our upstair neighbors have escalated. They were totally out of control again Thursday night. When I told Corey about it, he flipped out and made me call the office. The office manager, Janet, never contacted them after the first time I called :mad:
I told her what was going on, and that she had to call them, and I didn't care if they knew where the complaints were coming from. While I was on the phone, Corey was totally flipping out. She said she would call them...
I don't know if she called them yesterday or not, or what she said, but last night they were worse than ever... So I don't know if they were trying to punish us, or if they're just really that f- terrible now.

I went to get my nails done this morning, and on the drive back home, the closer I got, the more my anxiety started to build up- to the point where by the time I got here I had a full-blown anxiety attack :(
Because I'm going to have to deal with Corey flipping out when I tell him what happened because he was asleep on the other side of the apartment (he has to work today). And because I was worried about running into one of them, and worried about what's going to happen tonight. Also...

Corey keeps talking about moving now. He kept yelling about it while I was on the phone with Janet, who overheard. He said he wanted them to move us to another apartment. She said we "wouldn't like the rent," which has gone up $200 in the last year, but is less than what we were paying before we moved here. I told her I liked our apartment, and didn't want to move, but after last night, I don't see how things will improve, and I don't know how long I can keep living with this s-.

I don't think they will move us to another apartment. Corey told me to start looking for a new one again, and I don't like the idea of that... we were lucky to find this one because of the 3 cats. It was sooooo stressful, and I don't want to do it again so soon.

I don't know when to expect the surgery, but I obviously won't be in any shape to move for a long time afterwards.

So, right now I'm f- miserable :(

I am so sorry you have to be enduring this on top of all else.
love
bobby

Maybe call around and find all the apartments that he can't afford.

Then if he really wants to move he will figure out that its not going
to happen.

Is there any way you can call the cops on the neighbors instead of
the apartment complex at the time its happening. Especially
if they are loud.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

We really can't afford to pay first, last, and security on a new place anywhere right now without almost draining our savings account because we took that hit for the AC repair, and are still trying to catch up. I told him the only way we could move is if the leasing office here would agree to move us to a new apartment. I don't think the rent, even with the hike, is really that bad. The rents around here are RIDICULOUS.

I think that if we called the cops on our neighbors, rather than asking them to keep it down, it would reflect negatively on us in the eyes of the office staff, and they might even terminate our tenant at will (which is month to month).

They were quiet last night. We heard them when they came home, and they were totally trashed. I guess the were too tired to raise hell. It was a nice break.

My anxiety is really high, and I have been doing quite a bit of cleaning for the last two days. I really needed to catch up with my housework, so It could be my OCD, which sometimes gets worse with high anxiety. IDK, but sometimes when I get really worked up, it triggers an episode.

I may visit the office on Monday, but I won't be able to if my anxiety is too high. I may come off as irrational or something... I may have to just call again, which so far has gotten me nowhere.

Kay

Wish I could help. Sorry its like that.

Any chance you can tape or record what is going on.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Kay,

I had upstairs neighbors like that once -- noisy as heck.
I sometimes thought I would go out of my mind.


They were on the third floor and we were on the second.

Eventually they were kicked out of the appt for whatever reason and
their stuff was dragged down the stairs or tossed out of the window by the
management.


=-=
I wish for your sake that they would either quiet down or move.


M

I am sorry you are miserable.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I'm definitely having more than just anxiety. The Klonopin is not working, so I must be experiencing agitation, and I've cleaned most of the apartment in the last 3 days... I'm just driven even tho I'm exhausted. Before I vacuumed today, I cleaned the vacuum and the carpet cleaner, and then the air purifier, including the intake slots (with a whole bunch of Q-tips). For the first time in a LONG TIME, I couldn't take a nap yesterday (because I was too wired).
This came on quickly.

I left a message for my pdoc. I have no idea what she can/will do with me. That extra 100mg of gabapentin she prescribed last time was activating, and I'm maxed out on the rest of my meds.

I called the leasing office rather than going down there. I got no answer. Usually I don't leave messages, but this time I did- hoping the manager would get it instead of Janet.

Our tenant at will (month-to-month lease) says nothing about "quiet hours," but states clearly that tenants are not to make noise that disturbs other neighbors (doesn't specify a time). I mentioned that in my message.

Corey is not helping me at all. I do not want him to get involved because of his temper, and he wants to make threats, etc. He's driving me nuts.
I'll have to talk to him again tonight and let him know I'm not just dealing with anxiety, and he needs to be more careful with what he says.

I am sorry you are having agitation and wish corey supported you better.
((((HUGS)))
bizi

I got a call back from my pdoc's office saying that the on-call nurse wanted me to come into the office for an appointment (today). I'll be seeing a psychiatrist I've never seen before. That makes me nervous. Seeing anyone other than my pdoc makes me nervous. He doesn't know my psych or med history, and may not understand that I can't afford the new meds on the market... and I've blown through pretty much everything else.

Anyway, this kinda feels like straight mania right now even though I have high anxiety and a lot of things to worry about, and I think some of the catastrophic thinking I've been having may actually be paranoia. If it is a mixed episode, it is definitely mania-dominant.

My upstairs neighbor, Ellen, 1/2 of the couple we have been having problems with, came down the fire stairs (spiral staircase that is actually pretty cool looking) to talk to me this morning when I was smoking a cigarette, and acted like nothing was wrong. We spoke for about 10-15min, but nothing about our noise complaints. I wonder if Janet ever bothered to call :confused:

I've been so busy running around cleaning everything, I've been running myself into the ground, so I'm exhausted and in pain. I smoked pot yesterday afternoon so I could get some much-needed sleep. Corey started in on the 12pk he brought home with him after work right away, so by the time I woke up from my 2 1/2hr nap, he was totally s- faced. Then, I had to drive him to the store to buy more beer. At least he was in a good mood.


I forgot to mention that I did try Stop and Shop's pick-service on Friday. It worked out very well. The young man put everything in the car for me, including 2 cases of water. The only caveats were that they don't sell the ice cream I love, and one of the nectarines I bought was rotten. I plan on using the service again. I didn't have to drag myself through the store or worry about asking anyone for help :):):)

I couldn't have walked through the supermarket on Friday anyway. For the first time, I started to have painful spasticity in my left leg in the pool, which prevented me from doing most of my walking exercises. Rare. It was really messed up all day.

when is your appointment? I will be thinking of you.
Am sorry about the spasms in your leg that prevented you from walking.
Not good!
bizi

Kay
I will be thinking of you too. Hope the appointment went or
goes good.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm definitely MANIC.

Oh boy, what a big to-do yesterday's appointment was. I met with a shrink AND an NP I've never seen before for about an HOUR. They pretty much wanted to go over my whole psych and med history, and all my current symptoms. I thought the shrink's eyes were going to pop out of his head when he asked how much Seroquel I was on, and I told him 800mg.

Pretty much all they could do was add something else (hopefully) temporarily to treat this episode. I've been through so many meds that the options were limited. It came down to Rexulti and Ability. I've taken both before without any side effects. But Rexulti is marketed for Bipolar Depression, and I took something marketed for that (Latuda) for a hypo episode, I ended up in the looney bin, so I chose Abilify. 5mg a day for now...
It cost me $128 dollars for 15 pills!!! I looked on GoodRx and I can get a coupon for the pharmacy at the supermarket to for $35, so I will obviously be doing that next time.

They wanted to see me again today, and again early next week. I guess they think I'm that bad off...

I came home really animated (and temporarily really agitated because the script cost so much). I can't remember if Corey has seen me that bad or not, but he looked uncomfortable to say the least. I think it scared him.

I'm having a lot of issues with pain and am exhausted because of all the cleaning I've been doing, but I can't relax or slow down. I ended up smoking MJ, which did slow me down, but I couldn't sleep when I tried to take a nap.

So guess what I did?
Last night I accidentally took my night meds twice again. I guess I took my pills and smoked then went to bed. I couldn't fall asleep right away, and a while later, I wasn't sure I took my pills. So, I looked at my phone to see what day it was, and it said Wednesday, so I got out of bed to check my pill case, and the Wednesday slot was filled, so I took the pills...
I'm a f- idiot. I should have been looking at the Tuesday slot, but it was 1am, so of course my phone said it was Wednesday.
I didn't wake up until 11:30am!!! And after all that sleep, I still felt f- up. So, I checked my pill case, and realized what I did. Obviously I can't drive today, so I called and left a message for the new pdoc.
What a terrible time to make a mistake like that!!!

The new pdoc called to ask how I was. She's an idiot. She couldn't follow how much med I took and kept asking. I was getting very irritated. And she wanted to know how I felt the Abilify was working... how the f- should I know? I took 1400mg of Seroquel last night!!! I told her that I would have a better idea tomorrow. So, I guess I'm supposed to call someone tomorrow to tell them how I'm doing... I will probably be still manic, or at least hypo because this episode is a biggie.

The new pdoc is going to try to get me an appointment with my regular pdoc sooner than the one I have scheduled next month... good luck with that.

I hope the abilify works for you, it was activating for me.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Kay

I hope you can figure out some way to get the med problem
figured out. Maybe when you take the meds you can set out
the morning meds. Or are the meds all together in one pill container.

I know my mom did her's all in separate containers. She would put
up the ones she took, and take down the next group.
Usually it worked for her.

I really wish I knew how to help you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Because I've made med mistakes in the past, I bought 2 very different colored and shaped pill containers. I keep the small purple day one is in the drawer in the coffee table and the big blue and white night one in a drawer in the bathroom. And I take my pills right BEFORE I smoke MJ and go to bed so I don't forget them... One would think that that would prevent med errors...
I'm going to try putting a bright orange sticker on the correct night dose to take, and will not move it until the next morning. I hope it helps.
Apparently just taking the correct dose of my meds causes enough problems. I don't need to keep poisoning myself :eek::eek::eek:

I tried Abilify in the past as a primary mood stabilizer. I went all the way up to the max of 30mg, but it didn't work for me. At the time, there was no generic available, so it cost me over $500/mo, and put me in the Medicare donut hole. Obviously it wasn't worth it.

I hope I have better luck with it as an adjunct med...
In the past, I've had some manic episodes that seem to respond to meds/dosage changes, but then my symptoms come right back- sometimes worse. That's why I like to catch things early. But this came on really fast, so I missed that opportunity.

The effects of the overdose didn't last as long as I expected. By the time Corey came home, I was okay. But later, I felt like I was hypo. I didn't even consider taking a nap, and was still wide awake at 1am.

I only got 4 1/2hrs sleep last night, so I'm tired, but I think I'm probably still manic. I'm still agitated, I'm having a really hard time sitting still, and my thinking is definitely not linear, but I'm in a good mood? I don't think I'm as bad as I was on Tuesday, but IDK. It's early, so it's hard to be sure.
I want to use the Pea Pod pick-up service again on Friday, but I have to put in my order early so I can get the pick up time I want. I'm having a hard time settling down long enough to make up my shopping list tho.

I just took my morning meds a little while ago, including the Abilify, and I feel like I'm going to puke. Anyway, I guess I will see if those symptoms get better, worse, or if there is no change because of the Abilify. So far no change, but I will have to give it more time.

I'm supposed to call the pdoc office and leave a message regarding how I'm feeling today. And they were able to get me an appointment with my regular pdoc early on Monday morning. I hope to be sane, or close to it, by then tho...

So, it's Thursday. My upstairs usually come home between 9-9:30pm s-faced and rowdy... not looking forward to tonight. I still don't know if Janet ever called Ellen about my complaints, or how well they were received, so I don't know what to expect... :(

Just because someone is manic, it doesn't mean that they are in/stay in a good mood all the time. Ellen and Adam had better keep it down, because they don't want me to go up there to knock on their door the way I am right now.

Could you write down when you took your meds?
Would that help?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Good luck.

Have a great day.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Bizi, I usually at least read on my thread before doing anything else. Initially, I didn't think that writing down when I take my meds would help, but then I thought about it, and for some good reason (that I already forgot lol) I think it's a good idea.

I have been SOOOOO F- NAUSEOUS since yesterday, I often feel like I need to throw up, and occasionally I'm letting out some really odd burps. Eating does not help, it just makes matters worse. I called the pdoc office this morning and left a message. IDK what they will do... Tell me to suck it up? Change meds?Add Zofran? I'm not taking anything else that's sedating.

And I can't take the Abilify with my daytime pills... way too sedating. I will have to take it in the afternoon like I did the first 2 days I was on it. I didn't realize how much sedated I was because I was still manic yesterday. When I went for a quick drive to buy cigarettes, and the speed limit went from 25 to 35mph (where everyone goes at least 40), I realized I shouldn't have been driving.
I'll can tell you that being manic, and that sedated, is really, really weird... no nap again :confused:

I did get my s- together enough to write out my list, and order my groceries online early enough to get the pick-up time I want for today. I actually really got into the "shopping" part of it.

I seem to have slowed down a little more this morning. It's easier to sit still and I don't feel as agitated, but I still feel sedated after just taking my am pills, minus the Abilify. Maybe the Abilify is working. We'll see how I am once the sedative effect wears off- whenever that is.

I only got about 5hrs sleep last night, but that was because my spasticity woke me up several times early in the morning, and the spasms were very painful, so it became ultimately impossible to stay in bed and try to go back to sleep...
I need CBD MJ, but all that my local dispensary has is the drops, which are called tinctures, that I've never tried before. I may go buy some today.
I'm too sedated to drive 30min each way to go get the flower (regular MJ).

I have PT this morning, then I will pick up the groceries. It's so nice not to worry about asking for help :):):)

I am glad that you can pick up your groceries at curb side!.
That does make it easier they can put the bottled water into your car and corey can get it out!
(((((HUGS)))))
love to you today.
I hope you are feeling better and get a good nap in today.
bizi

Good luck with PT and pick up today.

Have a great weekend. Not sure I'll be on much for a while.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Thank you ladies :grouphug:

The spasms in my legs never stopped yesterday, and they were brutal. I pushed through PT the best I could. Thank God I arranged the curb-side grocery pick-up (which went off without a hitch) because I never would have been able to make it through the store.

The only thing that helped at all was getting down on the floor and stretching out my legs for a while, but it was hardly the relief I needed, and only short-lived. I tried to lay down for a nap, but I was in too much pain + still manic.

I bought the CBD MJ tincture yesterday. The sales guy told me it would probably take me 2 droppers to get the results I was looking for, but I wanted to start with one. I waited until it was too late to start because if you mix it with something and drink it (rather than put drops under your tongue, which the guy at the dispensary said was a no-no) it takes longer to work. An hour later, I took the 2nd dropper's worth, and waited, and still was having significant pain in my legs, so I ended up smoking some MJ until the pain got better before going to bed. I slept, and had no issues until I woke up at about 8, which is pretty late for me. My legs were better this morning, but are getting shitty again.

I will try the drops again tonight- earlier in a higher dose, and see how things go. I may have to just end up driving to get the flower next week.

I don't know what's going on with all of that. It's not new stuff, it's just ramped up, so technically I have to wait a week to see if it's a real relapse vs. a pseudo-relapse caused by some other kind of physical stress. I hope it will pass.

My pdoc called me back yesterday and said that I should take the Abilify at night vs. in the morning or afternoon. I woke up nauseous, but it went away after a couple of hours. I still feel sedated, but I have definitely slowed down. I'm still hypo, but at least things in that department are getting better. She wanted to up the dose, but not with me being so nauseous. I see her early Monday morning, so maybe she will do it then. IDK.

I'm going to lay down, and hopefully take a nap now...

I am so sorry that your spasms are so bad. glad that you were able to sleep lst night and maybe able to take a nap today.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I mixed 3 droppers filled of the CBD MJ tincture with Kool-aide earlier last night, and that failed to reduce the spasms and pain in my legs while I was awake, so the drops are obviously going to be of no use helping me sleep through the night.
I'm going to have to drive to the dispensary that is over 1/2hr away to buy regular CBD medical marijuana, since it hasn't been available here in months, and may not be for months more. I may be doing that tomorrow. IDK.

I'm still hypo, still not sleeping long or well, and still being ridiculous lol
I did a lot yesterday, but I think most of it was a lot of nothing. I got myself into a bunch of messes, and made messes that I later had to clean up :D

We did laundry today. It went pretty smoothly. We are both very tired. I couldn't settle down long enough to nap. I laid in bed for a while searching for new laundry bags on Amazon.

I have an appointment with my pdoc tomorrow morning at like 7:30am. That's when I'm usually online. I don't know what other kind of trouble I will get myself into after my appointment, so I may not be able to check in.

Hope that you get your cbd formula that you want/need.

Sorry your tinctures are not helping.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

how are you doing?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

That's quite an early appt. I hope it goes well.

I wish we had easy access to reasonable priced quailty MJ. I believe
it would help me or would be worth trying.


Take care, Kay.

Mari, the price of marijuana you get at the dispensaries is actually pretty cheap, especially when you consider what you are getting...
It's high quality, and is consistent (at my regular place at least), and there is a menu with information on each strain about what symptoms it treats best (but there are other sx each may treat as well), what kind of high to expect, and what it smells and tastes like. The people who work there are really helpful, and you can usually get reviews for everything on their websites.
The MJ I bought yesterday was $25 off because I was a new patient there, so I only paid $20 for 1/8 (which is incredibly inexpensive). I didn't buy anything else there because I've never tried their stuff before, and 1/8 is a lot to get stuck with if it isn't any good. I usually buy 1/16 of 2 different other kinds besides the CBD.

I had to wait for a while after my appointment and pump myself full of coffee before going, but I did make the trip to the other dispensary to pick up the CBD dominant MJ strain. I smoked a tiny bit of it on its own, and it's going to work out very well for me. I should be able to treat my pain w/o having to smoke so much I end up passing out on the couch :)
Before I went to bed, I ground it up the new stuff with a different strain I knew would knock me out tho. I have not been able to nap, and I have been staying up late. I REALLY NEED/NEEDED SLEEP. I slept for 9 hours last night, but that's not nearly enough to catch up. When this episode is over, it will probably take me a week or more to recover.

I'm taking the Abilify at night, but I'm still waking up sedated, and exhausted because of the lack of sleep. But not long after I got home from my very early appointment yesterday, I started experiencing significant psycho-motor agitation, and agitation in general, and I was slightly paranoid again, etc... There's no way I can describe to you the feeling of being this sedated, but manic. I'm all f-ed up... a total mess :( :( :(
I should just keep quiet. I'm coming off as confused because I'm so tired and out of it, and my line of thinking is rather odd and not linear, so a lot of things are coming out of left field, and sometimes I'm not making much sense especially because I'm still talking so fast, but I can't shut the f- up. I'm pretty sure the guys at the dispensary thought it was nuts.

My pdoc wants to increase the Abilify from 5 to 7.5mg. But I can only take 7.5mg on nights when I don't have to drive the next day. I took it this morning, and I woke up really sedated (and nauseous). It will last the whole day since my morning meds just perpetuate it. I have to drive to go get my Tysabri treatment tomorrow, so it's back to 5mg tonight. Then I have to drive again on Friday...
I'm in for the day today.

She was adamant that I needed to get some sleep. I told her the only way I can is if I get super-stoned. She said, "I can't authorize that," but with a smile, and said again, "YOU NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP."

I desperately needed to take mag. citrate, so I reluctantly did that last night. The results were underwhelming. I will have to try taking it again tomorrow night. I f- hate the thought of it...

Your days have been super challenging.
sorry that your mag citrate was disappointing.
It sounds like your pdoc is listening to you.
Are you happy with your visit?
I hope you can get a nap into today.
Thank you for posting.
And you make perfect sense don't worry about that with us...
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Just work on getting some sleep. You are doing the best you
can. That is all you can do.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I may not sound odd or off to you guys because you get the benefit of editing. I can’t edit the s- that comes out of my mouth tho...

Whether I smoke or not, there are no naps now. The sedation from the Abilify seems to wear off late in the morning or in the early afternoon, and my manic/hypomanic sx get worse and I can’t relax long enough to even lay down.

Yesterday I wasn’t too bad in the morning. At least I wasn’t experiencing significant psycho-motor agitation. I REALLY wanted to start cleaning, but I knew it would rev me up, so I tried to occupy myself with sedentary things. Overstimulation is a bad thing when I’m like this.
Around 2pm, I was wide awake, on the go again, and in the mood to search for and buy s ton of s- (when I could sit down of course).

This is the first morning since taking the Abilify (5mg last night) that I
haven’t woken up completely out of it. I’m definitely hypo tho. I’m getting my Tysabri treatment right now, and I’m in a f- fantastic mood and have been talking everybody’s ear off about totally random s- lol...
I’m curious to see what will happen/how I will be later in the day.

I have the feeling that the Abilify is only sedating me, but maybe I just need to take the higher dose more consistently. IDK. I will give the 7.5mg a chance to work and see if it’s really making a difference.

Mag, citrate again tonight... so f- excited.

I hope that your infusion goes by quickly today.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I sure hope it starts working for you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Just wanted to let you know that I'm okay.

Thanks, Kay.

Thanks for checking in kay.
we are here for you.
bizi

I hope you got some sleep last night.
How are you today?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:grouphug:

I'm okay, but I have a REALLY busy day today...
I hope to write to update you later, but I don't know if I'll have the time.