[mymorgy]

you passed the hurdle. I wonder what triggered it.
love
bobby

[bizi]

I don't know bobby, I got supper self conscious.....


With the holidays coming up and our vacation too. I will have to use will power to be disciplined.
I don't want to gain weight! That will be real tricky because when it is cold....I tend to over eat.
I just need to make sure there are plenty of lower carb food items in the house.
It will be very difficult when we go to my moms house for a few days. It is really cold there, they follow a low carb diet too but have already said that they don't on holidays. They live in northern Indiana.
Mom equates eating her food with love.
Also I eat to give me something to do....to avoid conversation if I am honest.
I have social anxiety even with my family....and usually drink to combat those feelings.
I feel awkward in most situations.
So the next month is a challenge!!!!
bizi

[mymorgy]

does it have anything to do with being a twin and maybe not feeling as if you are enough? Who was the dominant twin? I can't figure out how you can reverse the situation and feel you are enough. I used to tell the kids I saw in therapy don't worry about what others think of you but instead focus on how you feel towards them. That helped a lot of kids with their anxiety and feelings of self consciousness. Were your parents very judgmental? I don't think that is it.

Have you tried bone soup? It is a broth and they have different flavors and supposed very healthy, low calorie and good for your bones.
love
bobby

[bizi]

That is interesting about your mentioning my twin.
When we were growing up she was the more social one...stills and has lots of friends. She has a heart of gold I envy her. She is a nurse too and works for a pediatricians office with mostly medicaid patients. She is so good at what she does., patients and moms love her.
Mom and dad had 4 kids before the age of 24 and mom did not drive.
We grew up poor and dad struggled to provide for us while he went to night school. He eventually went on to teach criminology

When my older brother killed himself it about ruined the family. He was 32 and had a son. He had a drinking problem.
I need to go to work....
have a good day bobby.
love you
bizi

[mymorgy]

i have to think.
love
bobby
could that be the reason you developed social anxiety?

[Dmom3005]

Bizi

When you go to South Bend, try drinking coffee and hot chocolate, for the warmth. Yes, I realize that they both will maybe put on some weight.
But also hot chocolate comes in a sugar free, I found that for Derrick, and its not bad. We got the packets even though I have a off brand keurig because
we drink a lot in the winter. But I need to get some more keruig'rs too.

And I drink lots of tea in the winter and put my substitutes for sugar in it.
Derrick has found he loves coke free and they have the coke free cherry and vanilla, too. And they are bringing out some really weird ones. But I'm going to try really hard myself to switch because everyone says the diet coke is bad for you to the coke free, and coke caffeine free.

But I got off your topic. Taking the foods find some that aren't as fattening or don't seem so much. And just work on them. Your mom will understand.

Donna

[bizi]

Not sure bobby, have been this way for so long.
I feel like a fraud because I don't have the knowledge a regular RN should have...I don't have a lot of common sense. It is embarrassing.....I have this horrible memory, can't remember shyt.


I need to run to the store and pick up

some Dr. Brommers tooth paste and a little light bulb for my office.
Have a nice evening!
bizi

[bizi]

Got the results of my blood work.
kidney function is fine now so that is good.
blood calcium level is high.= 10.7
a month ago MD ordered a parathyroid hormone test which
could be the cause of an elevated calcium level.
It came back fine.
I wonder if taking so much magnesium oxide could effect my levels.
I am no longer taking any calcium capsules like I was.
Don't drink milk.
My liver enzymes were high by 5 points. What constitutes a fatty liver? elevated enzymes?
Think I will google it.
being over weight for so long takes its toll.I am surprised I am not prediabetic!
Still on line too much...avoiding my paperwork which is terrible. Really need to be better disciplined. Now if I could just start christmas shopping.....
I hate shopping.
We are going to our friends house for friendsgiving.
I will bring the green bean casserole and crawfish dip.....I was supposed to go to the store today...did not happen... I have time tomorrow...will make time because the grocery store that we go to is closed for thanksgivng, rightfully so!
my picking has diminished so that is good, still alcohol free 36 days, Still down 10 pounds!

My great niece is 5 weeks old today. Sweet Emmy Lou.
Make it great!
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[mymorgy]

that is great about your results for the most part. you are not a fraud. i bet you are fantastic making older people happier and more comfortable. I have a feeling you are gifted working with older people. you judge yourself so harshly.
that is sad. you are a special person and hope you realize some day.. I beat myself up most of my life. what a f@#kinG WASTE. BIPOLAR IS SUCH A VICIOUS ILLNESS.

LOVE YOU
BOBBY

[bizi]

Thank you bobby,
have a good day.
love you too.
bizi