this 75 birthday has sort of been traumatic for me. I have been dwelling on feelings that I have been a failure. I went to bed late and spent the time going over my life.

I'm so glad that you had such a nice birthday out with Alice!

You are not a failure! I am so sorry that you are feeling that way right now
You did so much for the children in your neighborhood when you were young, and the children you worked with as a therapist. And you are such a good friend to so many people, especially Suri. People who give so much to others are not failures, they are blessings (((HUGS)))

I took Rexulti for a while to break an episode of depression. It worked very quickly for me, but I was on it for a couple of months, and I had zero side effects, including no weight gain, but that's me...

If I remember correctly, you have already tried Rexulti, prescribed by your old pdoc because it worked so well for me, but it did NOT work for you. I don't remember you having any side effects either tho.
So, that is a failed drug trial, so you should not bother taking it, no matter what the side effects are. You can tell your pdoc that you forgot you had already tried the med and it didn't work. But I'm kinda surprised that your old pdoc prescribed it for you given the side effects because he was always so cautious, but he may have realized that the risk of some of the more serious side effects are low, and they are.

In a brief, but not complete summary: Weight gain is common- up to 30% of patients, and 10% actually reported weight loss in clinical trials. It can also cause a host of common GI issues and increase anxiety, which have been big problems for you lately. It can also raise blood sugars and cholesterol, as I think you or someone else has already mentioned, but those side effects tend to be dose-dependent.
There have been an "unknown frequency" of cerebrovascular incidents such as stroke, which means the incidents are likely rare, and possibly not related to the medication. Sometimes patients have medical problems during the course of clinical trials that aren't related to the medications, but still have to be reported.

I definitely don't think it's the best med for you to be taking. But, like I said, I'm pretty f'ing sure you've taken it before anyway, and it didn't work, so there's no reason to take it again. I'm surprised you don't remember taking it before.

your cognitive skills are great kay being that you remember about Bobbies meds.
Thank you for that.
(((((hugs)))))
bizi

I thought it was familiar. Thank you so much. I wound up having a wonderful morning. Stella and I had coffee at 10:30 and then we wound u talking at length to an adorable guy i his thirties outside of the coffee place for over an hour. Stella did most of the talking. I have to look up Atlantis. Then she took me to the Indian buffet which was delicious and we kept on talking.

I am so glad that you have stella in your life!
bizi

Great morning with Stella.

yesterday I sent her an email saying that I was blessed to have her as a friend.
Last night I didn't sleep much at all. I am upset about the meds the doctor prescribed. I won't take either. One of the serious side effects of equetro are bruises. I don't know if it from the blood thinner but I often see black and blues and don't know how I get them.The medicine would make me too anxious and anxiety and depression are my major problems besides the physical problems like walking,diabetes and controlled blood pressure and high cholesterol. I will ask her again for topamax. I was able to handle that drug and it did reduce my cravings for sweets.

I remember that Bobby took the Rexulti because when she did, I was really hoping it would work for her like it did for me, but it didn't, and I was really disappointed

Are you going to call your pdoc, or just keep taking your antidepressant and Klonopin and wait for your next appointment?

Are you on a blood thinner, or just worried about the fact that you get mysterious bruises (I do too), or worried about bruising as a side effect of a medication?

I'm glad you had such a nice morning with Stella!