Thanks! Well, I'm just trying to push through what I've gotta do and just trust my instincts...but I also talked to a few folks about it and how I might best communicate (?) myself. (Why can't I think of the right word? Guess I'm just too mentally exhausted...or it's just my typical dumbness :P ) Um...i also was able to exercise a bit some and I'm trying to focus my time on my hubby when the opportunity is there and try to confine my stress to only those moments when I'm taking it to get the job done...it's difficult at the end of the day though, when I'm just tired and anxious and sad thoughts abound, but i try to remember and repeat positive affirmations and remember gratitude.

Thanks To you too! I think I'm actually talked out right now and it might not be wise to keep talking about the topic. Meh! I suppose I could just say that I'm feeling misunderstood and having difficulty communicating my needs to someone...or when I do, I feel guilty for doing so...but I shouldn't, right? Just feeling in conflict with this person and it sucks because I want to like them and be liked by them. Um...i think that's the core of it. :grouphug:

Hi,



Hugs back to you.


M

Well, I feel there's still a bit of tension ...from the silence, but not from everybody. I was feeling ok today when things felt a little calmer, but again there's still silence from some of the particulars. I'm fine with giving them space, I just hope they know that I don't mean to be difficult or cause any trouble. It's just my life circumstances. I'm continuing to try to explain, but not overexplain...eh, maybe? I'm just really trying to find a balance of sanity. Might take some time for things to smooth out fully. Might still be some bumps, but hopefully it will be peaceful for the most part.

I'm sure there is much more for me to say in my journal today, but I'm not feeling very organized atm...and hubby's saying he needs the computer...so I guess I'll have to come back! Although one thing I know for sure, hubby just announced tonight that since he's the only one in the office today, he's going to be working from home from now on. This is going to require some cooperation and patience from both of us and might possibly change how often I get online too. So, please send us good thoughts!

Hugs to you all!

maybe this will be forced curtailing the internet?
I have been spending less time on here. so that is good.
I shut down the psychcentral sites and HAMS one too.

so I am definately on line less.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi, GeeLuv,

Good luck with the working from home stuff.


Find things to do that are helpful for you.

Are there certain things that distract you or "calm" you.


M

It's starting already. The madness. I was creaking the floors too much while he was in a meeting. I hope being in the kitchen was ok because I was mopping. Sounds like he's still on a call, but I think I can do some sweeping and dusting upstairs. Hopefully that won't be too noisy. Dont recall if the upstairs floors are as creeky or not. Guess well find out! Also going to see if i can find my coloring book and pencils while im up here. Frankly, this coloring book is a bit stressful though with all the details (its a mandala book). I dunno. Will give it another try though...

Now I worry I might be online even more if I have to be quiet! Eh hem. No, I'm sure I'll find some things to do. And apparently it's nicer weather today, so maybe ill get outside for a bit...but I'll have to cross hubby s path to go change though...actually, same for brushing my teeth. Meh! I may have to go to brushing my teeth first thing in the morning again. I know some folks actually think this is better, hubby included, but I prefer to brush after breakfast and coffee.

Ok, well, I think I'm gonna go try to do some more stuff offline now. See ya a bit later probably! :)

Have you ever thought about writing a journal/Blog??
I get easily frustrated here because it is so quiet.
That is why I joined Psych central...but I closed that down because it was contributing to my hypo mania!
I hope everyone is hanging there.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Bizi, I don't know if you remember, but I used to have a blog that you even commented on once or twice. Hehe But I haven't used it in over a year or two even and not planning to in the near future, although I did just check to see if it even still existed and I could get on my account. I thought it might have disappeared since I haven't used it in so long.
A regular journal, I'm trying. I just don't always know what I'm doing with that. I mean, I feel it needs more structure, but then I don't seem to write anything at all then. It's a mess, but I keep trying. I honestly need a new notebook or notebooks though soon.
Sorry that you struggled on PC and are taking a break. I mean, good if it's helping, but bad if you miss it. Hmm, not really sure what to suggest right now since I'm still figuring out how to spend less time online myself. I want to quickly check the other updates here now and then get back to work.

Update

Well, I just finished dusting and sweeping upstairs. Took me almost an hour because omg it was dusty! It gets neglected because it's so cold up there in winter and we never really use the upstairs. But it's even worse now since the window ACs had been installed. In fact, it almost never was dusty up there before, but now we get dust, dirt and parts of the bird's nests that have subsequently come along. Bleh!

Anyway, but I found a book of short stories I've never really read and my coloring book...and even a sock left by my nephew when they stayed cough cough two? summers ago. (Omg) I was actually hoping it was my long lost gloves, but no such luck. No luck on the colored pencils yet either, but i didnt really look everywhere for them.

Hubby is finally off the phone for now, so I should ...but I'm tired now! Bleh! ;)

Oh wow! I thought I posted again but I guess I'm getting my irl journal mixed up with this. Ha!

Yes, I wrote a lot in that journal tonight as this device was charging and I didn't want hubby yelling at me for being distracted while cooking again. He was upset that I was cooking so late though, which is why I'm surprised I hadn't posted here again after my last post. What was I doing all that time?? Well I did have to wash dishes so I could cook and I had to prep the meat, then I watched some tv with hubby...ohhh, maybe I was on my other forum. Yep yep! I was. But the fact is, I was just so tired today and I wanted to snuggle with him and watch the last show. He wanted t too. He is going to have to learn that we can't do that in the day if he wants me to maintain my regular schedule. Ughhh this is gonna be rough! But we'll get through it somehow.

Oh, I'm needing to schedule some more appointments with the GP, bloodwork for me and a follow-up for hubby. Was gonna do it today but had to wait for hubby to get off the phone to ask him if that's what he wanted. We wasted time debating whether we should schedule if they might get canceled due to this virus ****. I said I think we should at least try and have them in the books. So we agreed, but by then I had to do other stuff and didn't get to call today. But now I'm worried that my appointment next week, after all this talking about it and prepping for it and having it rescheduled already, that it might be canceled. I would just hate that! This Corona is just utter **** man! I'm already so tired! Sigh!

Well, I'm getting sleepy...

I don't know where my post went to you yesterday or where bobbys is they are gone!
weird...
bizi