Awe! That's a bummer!

I'm feeling like doing what you did Bizi, in the sense that I give up posting on my journal threads on PC. I'm not sure though. I mean maybe somebody out there is still reading. But my head and heart hurt right now as those threads don't get much attention now...like this does. (Thank you folks) Maybe it's just how I'm feeling because of how I woke up today.

Feeling mopey right now. Think it's because of the exciting dream I had about when my life had hope and a promise...ok, I mean I have that in a different way now, but back then I just felt creative and alive. Now my creativity seems to only happen in my dreams. :/

P.s. I'm also kinda disappointed at how I just can't find the desire or even reason for getting up in the morning and doing anything but get right online. Especially on a day like today, I really need that energy boost I get from my online friends and supporters. I've been taking my meds that require an empty stomach, and now I must get up and eat. I woke up an hour earlier than planned for today, so once again, I am tired...but I'm really trying to do all the right things...like I said though, it does get very hard when I can't find the desire or the reason for all of this. :/ But it's there, somewhere, I guess. :)

G, I have been posting on this bipolar site for over 20 years.
I am down to this site, facebook and yahoo, email. I check the weather for the day/week and some times look at drudge report.
But am really trying to cut down.

bizi

I have too much time on my hands honestly. That's why i'm on so much. Plus, I don't have anyone to talk to irl, and I'm quite the extrovert, apparently. But i am trying to cut back some...then again, as soon as I'm making some progress there, some new opportunity comes along. lol But I'll focus on what I cut back right now. I'm pretty much off Facebook, I only go on Twitter once or twice a day at most when it used to be 4plus times. I've added some I follow, but I've muted other accounts and/or shut off retweets on some too. And as much as i adore this one friend, im not messaging her there daily either. Have essentially cut out 3-4 or 5 forums, except i do, very occasionally check 2 or like 1.5 of those 5 and only 1 thread on there. ohh, actually, it's 6 forums i've cut, but i've cut the 6th one awhile ago.

hmm, maybe it would be the less or at least the same if i said what i still use...but maybe not.

Alright, well, gonna finish eating and then watch some I know what you did last summer movie with hubby. :D

I was not supposed to be on line after 10 well
here I am wrote back a friend who I know from the forums, here, her name is Kay.
What did you used to do before you became bored?
bizi

I'm concerned about what to do about what would normally be a visit to my
hair dresser in four weeks.

I depend on him for color and cut -- this has been many years.

Even if I left my hair to gray, I still want someone to do a cut every four or five weeks.

++++++++++++++++++++

I ordered some pretty caps / hats on Amazon so I can cover my hair while
it transitions to its next phase.

M

Gee Luv,

I'm doing twitter too. Somedays, I like it. Other days, I get annoyed.

=-=-=-=-
Be alert to groups offering opportunities online.


I image that our culture will figure out ways for us to stay connected to
other people at home by doing yoga, crafts, book talks,
. . . some for free, some with a small fee.

And these organizations will set up these activities in order to keep us
home.

It's also likely that people are working on new T.V. formats that engage and connect us in new ways.


M

@Mari can you explain the alerts part better? Or perhaps after reading what I've prepared for today's post, you might see things differently...or maybe not. I dunno. I'm getting very sleepy now.

I largely apologize for the length ahead of time. I started revising and then went off on another tangent anyways. Still, I would really appreciate it if you could take the time to read this one. Thanks!

-----------------------------------------------------

@Bizi , I should probably set a time to be offline at nighttime too, but we'll, here I am at 1am (well, now it's 1:30am as I edit this). :/

And Bizi, that's a really good question. Took some thinking for awhile and I still don't remember it all or how I was feeling or anything then. That will require more brainstorming. Hopefully that won't keep me awake all night!

Anyway, so it was about 5 or 6 years ago before I started foruming. Here's what i remember
Cooking and baking

Scarves-watching YTube styling videos and taking pictures and playing dress up with my new dresses from mother-in-law

Knitting and crocheting

Getting to know my in-laws via FB, Skype and Whatsapp.

Pilates, yoga, and all sorts of fitness workouts via these 10minute workout dvds. Also walking or maybe even jogging on the treadmill. That's when I started really getting into this band though from listening qhile walking...and soon after that is when i first ventured into online forums specifically for this band, but that's not the question.

Problem is, with the exception of walking and the crochet (which I started back up a few weeks ago, but might also have to quit again), those other things just aren't really a part of my life now all for different reasons. I won't bore you with that.

So, I have a new life now. I can't go back!...i wish I could remember how I was feeling back then. Maybe I was ...well, I was content, but not happy. I've had ups and downs over the past few years, but I feel like the ups make it worth it?? (I'm relatively up as I say this, but oddly, I'm still down thinking of what my life has become from being sick physically. Ahhh!!! I'm remembering more! However, this was a little bit earlier. This was like a decade ago now when I started getting the symptoms of my physical illness. It was so bad, I was having suicidal thoughts (ideation, not plans). I was being a burden and I just thought others would be better off without me, plus I was in pain. But I still had faith deep down and I lucked out and got some help. Fast forward to like 7 years ago, we moved again into a house this time. That was about the time when I was put on my first mental health drug (for lack of better words) Xanax. It felt so good! But I felt guilty because I felt so high...you know, like smoking a cigarette high. I did not think that was right. So I didn't even take any more after that first time. But I still held on to that good feeling. But I also had incredible anxiety with meeting my in-laws for the first time and chatting on Skype with them. Talking to my own family made me nervous, phone calls made me nervous, Skype was a whole new monster with video. Omg! Hubby kinda coached me through all that, but at the same time, he thought m fears were ridiculous and he was like, you just have to do this. He would get angry if I didn't and shame me. He really just has no idea how this feels apparently...or he does, but he has so much determination that he overcomes every challenge. I was alone. I was needing support! I did start getting more comfortable with a few of his cousins, but still not to the point where I felt i could talk about things. It was a whole new way of life for me you could say! And I felt alone and awkward and shy and because I'm really an extrovert, well this circumstance i found myself in wasn't a good thing.

Omg! I am doing it again! Rambling on...i just feel folks need to know some things about me, or maybe I'm just fully confiding as this is a forum that could potentially meet my physical needs as well as my mental ones. I did find an old thread about my condition, but sadly those folks don't seem to be around anymore and that was years ago...and I'm still shy about sharing my issue. :/ At any rate, it's now 2am so I really need to go. I'm kinda depressed thinking about all those things I used to do and can't do anymore. Well, I mean, that's my life. I've taken to the forums and now apparently journaling to cope.

Hugs everyone! Signing off now.

have you ever tried to read regency romance novels that always have happy endings? I do that a lot and it is a great escape..Don't listen to the news. it is too terrifying.
fondly
bobby who has been on this wonderful forum for years and I really need it.

I will read your post later G.
I need to go to work, but wanted to let you know that I will later respond..
I feel we are like soul sisters. trapped by our bipolar. Life is very different. haveing a med change for me and with this crisis.
I won't be back on till 7pm tonight.
This forum is a life line to me.
(((((HUGS)))))
Bizi
what can we do to help each other?

mymorgy- not sure what regency romance novels are

bizi- what can we do to help each other? I'll have to get back to you on that. Do you have ideas?

Ok, I know y'all are still processing last night's post, so no rush on this one. Just my thoughts for today. I'll try not to post again until everyone gets caught up. Thanks and hugs! <3

Ok, trying something a bit different today. Let's see how well this works.
So things are going ok, no major conflicts or anything, but I'm just getting very stressed and overwhelmed. I managed to call GP office and schedule appointments for me and hubby-goodI also got food prepped, washed most dishes, cleaned countertops and even began the deep clean process of the oven/stove (half done. hope this won't be a prob for hubby).I'll have to sweep and mop again because of this mess, but it's not too bad. It can wait another day or few.
As far as social contact, I'm still excited about all the friends I have and have been making as of late, but I don't think I can keep up today. Gonna have to step back from a few things. I wanted to go on an old forum and give out my Twitter address to a few folks there...but it can probably wait.
Found a new interest thread "what song is stuck in your head". that's always fun, but I am also trying to pay less attention to other threads for now, just to balance it. Maybe switch it up every other day or somthing.
Oh!!! Writing Camp!!! So I got word from one person last night that she'd be interested in a group with me. I haven't heard anything more today. It's still early. Folks don't usually decide groups until the last week of the month. Still uncertain now how or what I'm going to do as my writing project. "Blogging" (or journaling) is my main focus atm.
The month of April is going to be chaotic as it is because hubby and I have plans. Not sure just how much it will affect day to day, but I do have to shift focus on certain things (like meals.)
Speaking of meals, I was so hungry this morning that I forgot to take my meds on an empty stomach. Well, I took the probiotic, but forgot my thyroid meds until right before my first bite. I think it's fine once in awhile though. Still, it shows you how distracted I am!

I managed to brush my teeth right after breakfast/coffee today though. Just prioritized myself (well, not that I enjoy brushing, but i do feel better afterwards) this time, and THEN got to food prep and cleaning...and that appointments call. I am neglecting something else right now, but i'm sorry, I just needed to sit down and take this break atm. Thing is, it's a good thing that brings me peace though...
speaking of peace, I also need to workout. I feel like running, jumping, dancing- all of it right now! Unfortunately, I'd feel too guilty taking time away from my chores. I keep saying "i'll work out at night", but that's not always happening anymore.
It's tv night...sometimes I can actually work out during these shows. I can do my yoga stuff...maybe if I walk beFORE the shows, I can finish with yoga...that would mean working out by like 7 or 7:30...um, but when will I have dinner?? I'm planning to eat lunch here soon. it's almost 4...Not sure if I can wait until 8 to eat...especially since I'm not even sure how much food there IS for lunch. I need to allow time to cook too, so maybe 4:30-5:30 or 6 I can do that...then take some more downtime before working out.
Sounds like a plan! Now as long as there are no more unforeseen interruptions... :D
Also, fyi, my kinda goal bedtime is between 12:15am and 1am. So for an internet cutoff, I'm thinking 11/11:30?? It helps me relax before bed!! I dunno.
Ok, I think I did kinda ok on my "trying something different"...although it looks different on this screen, so I've probably failed once again. haha Not gonna tell you the plan just yet because I don't want any of us overthinking this right now. :D
Peace!