it is a he and he is an optimist. i just worry about everything and he has repeatedly told me that practically all things work out. the buspar hasn't helped the worrying. It makes me more tired and I have more difficulty in concentrating. Now I can think of Suri without pain but peace. I am so terrified of the virus and trump and the post office it is just making my ibs worse. Last night I tried magnesium o and it might have worked. I still have a lot of gas. I am still spending too much money. I have seen a few cockroaches which I haven't seen in so many years. the building's exterminator is coming on thursday. at first I was afraid to tell them. yesterday I threw out a lot of paper and didn't have the energy to shred.
I have lost a few pounds because most foods don't feel appetizing.
love
bobby

opps!
I hope you can have a good sunday.

I need to get going still in my jammies,
second cup of coffee. chores to do today. laundry, paper work creating new files a tedious job. That means I am getting new clients. and I have to buy a new empty bottle to put soap in the foaming soap dispenser is not working out.
I have a lot of those foaming soaps that were part of a spending spree. they are only a dollar a piece at the dollar tree. I will go to drug emporium today to see if I can get the kind I like. get more bottles of polish almost out of the light shades that most like.
again,
I hope you have a nice day!!!

love,
bizi

i feel so lost. I am thinking of buying a bottle of scotch. I can't stand the way I feel.
I have been up since three. Robert is coming over again to see if he can fix my printer. He now thinks that something might have dropped in it. Last night he was here for one and a half hours working on it. He has so much patience. I was getting more and more anxious.. I was looking on my terrace and no longer saw the drain. New tiles were installed on the terrace.It looks like they covered over the drain. I can't believe that there isn't another way to drain the big terrace to prevent more floods. My anxiety kept on going up and up. The exterminator came on Thursday. Early this morning when I went into the kitchen I saw my first roach and a black bug in the kitchen. my anxiety went higher. I spent over an hour this morning looking for printers in case Robert can't fix it. That was giving me anxiety. I was really hurting because I started missing Suri so much. I am having trouble with God. I am having trouble feeling close to him. That is really making me suffer.
I have been trying to talk to him and tell him I love him but I feel such a distance.
A volunteer might call me today. She forgot to call me on Thursday. Now I am feeling sorry for Aaron. He doesn't like his temporary job and it is such a hard time with the virus to find a new one. He can't be with his wife who is Russian and can't get a visa til she has a physical in Moscow and the hospital right now is only taking care of people with the virus. I am also anxious about not boring him. He is so bright and comes from a wonderful family and I try not to talk about my being the scapegoat in my dysfunctional family.
I had to hang up on Marci when Aaron called so I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. Right now I can't handle being bipolar. My medication doesn't seem to be working. I am so totally stressed out about the virus.

bobby, I read what you wrote,

I have a day of beauty that I am late to going to, will write more later.
love you

bizi
sorry for your anxiety(((((HUGS))))

Bobby

First You explain to Marci that you had been waiting on the call that came in.
So you had to hang up she will understand.

I wish I had a idea on your depression. Its hard to deal with at times.

Good luck with it.

Donna

I am too anxious to meditate but I must start riding the bike. my stomach is so off that I really don't cook. Today I did make oatmeal and now have a stomach ache with gas. No food really appeals to me except ice cream. I have traveled a lot when I was younger and now when I think of traveling I think of my disability,age and money worries. journals and blogs except for this one just sounds like work.
love
bobby

(((((((HUGS))))))))
love bizi

she is in her seventies but looks much younger.
fondly
bobby

I'm so sorry to hear that Roberts brother died. I know how hard this
will be. Hoping that he can get through this.

When it comes to gas pain, I can't think off the top of my head what
to tell you. But I know that eating food that comforts helps me. And
I believe drinking a little milk brings me comfort too.

Tea also does. I'm going to think on this, because I think you need to
find something to use before bed maybe.

Donna