wanted to let you know that I read this. Will write more later have a good day bobby.
love bizi

i wonder if i start thinking of snowball when i am depressed and have the depression go away.
love,
bobby

Wow, you've had so many dogs and cats and birds. That's incredible. They were all so fortunate that you cared for them so much.I am sorry though that you had such a traumatic time with your family. That's very sad bobby.

I don't know if my life has been all that exciting, but I am happy that I've seen a lot of places. I had way too much loss and sadness in my childhood and young adult years and I think that contributed to my need to always be on the move. I can never settle although I'd rather like to find the perfect place and settle now. Thing is, I think that there is no "perfect" place unless we are at peace with the world and happy and healthy.

dear bobby,
do what ever you think to comfort yourself.
If you have a picture of snowball then get

that and think of the happy times together.
then go to your cats and love on them.
say a prayer for snowball who has passed

the rain bow bridge where all animals go

when it their time to go.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I am so sorry about your too much loss and sadness in your childhood and your young adult years. I am so happy you have a wonderful daughter. where did you go? i was in Fiji for a few month when they had the coup. i was with fijian friends.
Do you think you can really get over early childhood trauma? I was a psychologist and have no idea how to get rid of that pain. I have never been angry at God. How can you be at peace with this world now? Maybe it is much better where you are. this country is now a disaster-so many evil people.. i will pray that you will be happy and heathy. you deserve to be.
fondly,
bobby

i have a couple of pictures some where of Snowy. guess what- either i also go rainbow bridge and be with them or pray where there is only one heaven where we all will go when it is our time and be with them. how wonderful that would be. I always see hammy running around and morgy resting on his back waiting for me. do i sound crazy lol i do hope i don't run into my immediate except my father.
love
bobby

Thanks very much. My Mother and Father died when I was young so it changed my life a lot. Father had been POW Changi and Burma Railway for 4 years after capture during the fall of Singapore WW2. He came home a broken man and then found happiness and married and had me and then his wife died and then I barely saw him ever after. I was sent off to some relatives aged 4 who weren't so nice.

Bula! Loved the Fijian people. I've been to Fiji twice. I loved Fiji very much. Spent time near Nadi in Sigatoka (sp?) and spent time on Treasure Island. I could live on Treasure Island. but that was in the money spending '80s so it was possibly after one coup and before a couple more.LOL They have had a few coups over the years. I don't want to be there during one.I spent time in Tahiti a few times. Japan a few times and some other places. All a long time ago now. Australians tend to be travellers. We're a long way off in the middle of the ocean and many of us have ancestors from other lands. I didn't get to see half of the places I would have liked to have seen.

I don't think you ever get over trauma completely. I spent years dealing with self-blame and a familial genetic predisposition to dysregulated brain chemistry. Then I married and had my children and that was another roller coaster.

I don't find peace in this world at all unless I'm on my own and in nature. It's no better here than anywhere. It's changed rapidly in my lifetime, just as your country has changed in your lifetime. It's all about the dollar. It's all totally beyond comprehension bobby.

Thank you for sharing lara.
hi wren!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

how many children do you have and how old are they and how often do you see them? Are they a source of comfort?
Do you like to read? I looked up what you have. one source was My Brain Doesn’t Seem To Be Working: Brainwave Dysregulation | Psychology Today
sh@t it has so much in common with bipolar 2. so much of the time is hell.
your childhood was so very awful-a nightmare. i guess you got little nurturing too and are probably so self critical. I don't know if you have faith.
Were you happy when you were traveling? i AM SO GLAD YOU LOVE ANIMALS.
I think I was in Fiji during the first coup. I stupidly thought that Fiji was going to be a paradise. never heard of Treasure Island. We met and went to the gg's birthday party. The private secretary was the governor general's relative. I had a couple of affairs. Deep down the Fijians for the most part were just like us but oh so friendly. We stayed mostly in the main city at the private secretary's house.
i loved that all the children were loved and it didn't matter if their parents were married or not.
I hope the villiages haven't changed and reflect the same culture. I think I was there for four months. When I was young i spent months in Europe and almost married an Italian.
In college i went to a few carribean islands. Later went back to europe.
Are you still able to travel or has your illness curtailed it.
YOU ARE SUCH AN INCREDIBLY BRAVE WOMAN.
Fondly,
Bobby

Hi, my children are young adults now. One lives with me these days and my son lives a long way away. My daughter was away at University in another State for many years but she came back home and we've coexisted ever since.

Regarding the brainwaves. I don't mean brainwaves, I mean brain chemistry, as in anxiety and depression and things like that. Children both on Autism spectrum for example.Tic Disorders are related to brain chemistry dysregulation. Dysregulation of Dopamine (like my Restless leg syndrome too)

So, Comfort? Well, comfort in a practical sense I guess. There have been a lot of these conditions in the family let's just say. My daughter helps me out a lot. We help each other out.

It's all genetic and organic. That's why I have never liked seeing mental health divided from other health conditions. They're all health conditions so it shouldn't be split up. Just my opinion.

I think Fiji has changed a lot in the past 20 or 30 years especially. Lots of people from other countries settled there and it's not quite the same island life by the sound of it. Treasure Island is just a little coral cay off the coast. Can walk around it as it's so small. It's probably overdeveloped and overpopulated these days as well.

I think travelling is amazing and the every different part of the world has so much to teach us all. It's all a bit ruined now sadly.

No, I can't travel anymore. I don't even go to the shops. Can't drive because I had all the brain mets.

I try not to look backwards. Covid has stopped travel here for 2 years. They're only just starting to think about opening up. I couldn't go anywhere if I could now as it's all too dangerous even if I was able. I have to have all my appointments and treatments so if I went anywhere now it'd only be for a weekend or a week and then I'd have to go with my daughter to help me get around but she's busy with her life.

Thanks for your kind words everyone and I'm not actually that brave. I'm a ball of anxious jelly always and I find it really difficult to talk about myself as well. LOL I'm just doing what I have to do.