Bobby,

We really miss you too. I know Bizi will also be glad your back.

I just had my second cataract surgery this morning. So I'll be more
talkative later this week

Donna

yesterday had my talk with my Rabbi intern. She is kind and even though so young so wise. I am really jealous of her. She is at peace with herself and constantly growing. I will speak to her one more time. She promised I will get some pictures of her wedding she just had.
I still have to believe that bipolar is a gift from God to draw you closer to him but my medications don't work and I FEEL SO BURDENED.
love,
bobby

just took 4 mg klonopin and feel better

dear bobby be careful with the extra klonipin.
have you ever taken that much before.
glad that you feel better.
gotta run and start my work day.
love,
bizi

i have so much anger in me. i have to stop thinking about my family and all the pain they inflicted on me. one of my psychiatrists said my bipolar wouldn't have been this bad if i had had another family. i wonder if it is too late to make believe.

Bobby

I'm not sure what you want to make believe. Maybe you can make believe
a new family. I am not sure if that is maybe what you mean.

I think it would be fine to do that.

Donna



Bizi

Have a great time

exactly with a lot more kitties and doggies and no sister but two brothers and a mother who is not a narcissist but the same father.
love,
bobby

i went a lot this morning but felt nauseated all night. i am going to try to fall asleep. i took my bath, threw out garbage, brushed my teeth, cleaned cups, cleaned the toilet and added food for the kitties. i wish i had the control to fast. i can't believe i talked with sam about my problem and fears i might need surgery. he was so kind

that was a lot of activity!
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

he didn't email or call. it is very upsetting. i depend on him too much. i work up as usual severely depressed. my stomach hurts. i had very bad thoughts. i just took a bath and brushed my teeth. just made coffee. still feel as if i have to go. i entered the password again to see if the kindle would work and it didn't. just took the new supplement and hope it still works and gives me more energy.
i have so many books and still buying more. yesterday i was reading a book i know i have read before. I have an incredible amount of books i haven't read yet.
looking forward to having my hair cut on wednesday.
a weird thing happened yesterday. a few weeks after my mother died kathy called me and said how upset she was because a friend lost i forgot somebody. i said how sad it was. i asked questions. it turned out he still had children and was close to his family. i felt so much anger and pain. I HAD NOBODY. she can be so insensitive..
yesterday she mentioned how a dear friend just died. i said how sorry i was. then i said i am still mourning my Rabbi, the only holy man i ever met. she immediately said i don't want to hear about that because my friend just died. I said he also helped keep me stable. Interesting.
love you,
bobby