i had some coffee and my stomach finally feels better, it helped me go the bathroom. Yesterday I took magnesium citrate powder and was shocked. In fifteen minutes I went.
I do belong to a facebook group for irritable bowel syndrome with constipation. It is a great group. Most are suffering big time.
I just ordered slippery elm powder that might coat my stomach. We share what we try. Most of their doctors tell them not to use laxatives. what a-holes. One just wrote that her doctor said to use laxatives or else there might be a rupture.
I called my friend Kathy and asked her about my childhood. She reminded me how my mother used to criticize me badly in front of her. It would make Kathy uncomfortable. She said it was emotional abuse. She said of course I would be terrified of my father because drunks can be unpredictable. She did agree I was very independent.
She is sending me a link to lectures on music by a brilliant guy.
Aaron did call and apologize for not calling last week. I was positive he wouldn't but got anxious he might stop. We have been talking for 3 years.
He and his wife drove to Wyoming for a reunion and had a super time. His wife loved the scenery. I was shocked that his parents joined them for two days with his mother's 12 dog Daisy who aaron says still looks like a puppy and kept up when they were hiking. He said he drove back for 13 hours nonstop except to get gas. I just listened and asked questions. He is just so super. His parents are so devoted.
Linda wrote me but I just deleted the email without reading it. Eventually she will get the message.

i just threw out five pairs of shoes. i just feel like getting rid of things. They were nice but i didn't care.
I did a bit of cleaning but it was almost disastrous. my balance is off and i can hardly walk. i was cleaning the sink with ajax and it almost got into eye. boy was i lucky.
I changed the cat litter. because of my balance almost half the litter spilled on the floor. I was able to sweep up most of it.
i wonder what i am going to mess up next.
i am not depressed.

The good news is that I am finally trying to give up swearing. I love to swear and it is a great release for me. I guess I will start using rats. I was so scared to go in the hall again and got very angry at myself. When I run into her I will just say don't ever talk to me again. I don't want to be an old mentally ill frightened person. I have told three of the workers here and the management for documentation about what she has done..

i seem to have released a lot of my anger although i didn't sleep last night.
Marci in doing housework is always fantastic. I have taken care of others since i was 4 and don't like it when she tries to take charge. I remind her that a few weeks ago Sam a corporate lawyer thought I was awesome.
Yesterday I tried pouring water into a cup by my bed. She didn't put the top of the pitcher on right and most of water spilled all over. both phones stopped working. i ordered two new ones from amazon and wrote robert for help. he said he would come by today. i kept on checking the phones. after a few hours they worked. wrote robert. wrote amazon to try to cancel order. too late. hopefully robert will explain what happened.