Glad I stopped in here and found your thread!! Wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery. Take a nap whenever you can!

Hugs, J. :Heart:

Well honestly at this time. There is no seen reason for it.

So no clue. I had no fall, so its not that. I would guess over use.
But I do know that it was already having problems before my car
had a flat tire right before my son went into the hospital.

I had to drive a stick shift for 2 days. And it was unavoidable, and
I've told my husband its really something that we own so many vehicles
and I have to be the one that is put in a place to have to be in trouble
if it comes down to no vehicle if mine goes down. Or resort to driving
something bad for my health.

I have refused so far, but this time it wasn't a choice, it was just to
be to therapy and home. Which I thought okay one time. I can do
this. And of course it was 6am in the morning my husband had tried
to put air in the tire. But it was leaking as fast as going in.

I had known the night before, I was lucky to get home. Not getting yelled
at was my luck, its hard for him not to yell at me. But I thought okay.
I will do this, and tonight he will change the tire, and go get me one.

Well he spent the evening at the hospital instead, which is were I wanted him at. And it wasn't his fault. If I hadn't needed to be at the hospital and to help a client the next day I wouldn't have driven the thing anywhere either. But it wasn't a choice. I also hurt the clutch, but he didn't kill me, luckily.

Then on Saturday, he took us to the hospital, me and Derrick, and my car to get it both back tires. He had bought it front tires at christmas for my present. Its the only way I get things for it. But that is okay, I don't need the clothes he gets that don't fit anyway, so I get to go buy my own instead.

But he is now mad at me, because of the credit cards I have had to use. Ugh, I hate it when he is mad, but he will get better I hope.

Donna

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think getting your hair done will make you feel much better, it always does for me. I plan on it, since I am allowed by my surgeon to drive to his appt, on Wed., I will see how I feel afterwards.

I am glad your husband was at the hospital.

The yelling at you really has to stop, when you stop and think about why he is yelling at you, it might be him just venting, but you should not be his target, and he should be able to control his anger.

Getting tires for Christmas, well isn't that big of him, sorry but I just don't put up with men' crap and bull anymore. You speak of him killing you for screwing up a clutch, the damn clutch could of went on it's own.

The credit cards, well doesn't he use them too? I'm sure some of those charges are for things for he house, etc..... It's time to get tough girl, you do not deserve to be treated this way, nor is there any reason for it.

You have enough on your plate, don't let him treat you this way, tell him exactly how you feel when he does yell at you or treat you badly. Verbal abuse isn't any different really than domestic violence abuse. Been there, had it done to me.

Sending you lots of hugs, Nikko:hug:

Thank Nikko

Honestly he wrote it all done in a letter. But vented while I was out shopping.
Its hard to explain. But when money is tight, I have to use the cards. Because he doesn't allow me more than he thinks I need to pay the bills.

I can't seem to show him why its not working that way. I also try to help Devin and his lady. Which I can't exactly use as a excuse then he just yells that Devin needs a job. Well that might be so, but school is much more important.

Anyway, he is stressed and before it was always he would divorce me, if I did things. Thats how we got married. Just life.

You have to realize I married into a family that had no real way of communicating. I'm hoping I've given my son's a little better.

But my middle son has inherited to much of his dad at times.

Donna

I don't know what to say to you without my domestic counselling coming out.

Are you afraid of him? Afraid of divorce?

I agree Devin's schooling is very important.:)

Are you happy in this type of marriage? If I am over stepping my boundries, just tell me to shut up and I will.

I am worried about you though.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Nikko:hug:

Donna, that sounds crazy the way he is rationing out money...it doesn't sound like it is working....
and you work too right?
this doesn't sound right at all.
I am sorry for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

He is not rational about money at all. IS the problem. But that is the least of it right now. I will work through this.

My biggest problem right now is that with my own medical bills, I had about 2000.00 more in bills this year. And its really hard to work through them.

I also had my own hours cut the last two years. ANd this hasn't helped the
situation. So its making it hard on all. I'm very insecure about that too.

I just have 19 hours a week now, I had 16 last year. I used to have 24 hours. I work as many as i want many in my own home on this computer.

SO its not like I spend it driving. But I do need to find a way around the
cards and I will just as soon as I get them out of the way.

Heehee, I feel lots better just talking about it. Even to the point of making him look so bad. He isn't really that bad most the time. Its just that he was raised to look like a poor person, and really his parents had money.

ANd his mom know has money and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish I could tell her. But I don't dare.

Donna

Donna,
Wow, you must have a really big deductable...
financial issues are a huge stressor.
We cut up our charge cards and only use a debit card now....comes out of checking and everything is right there out in the open....only one account and we both have access to it.
Wish I could say we are out of debt...we are not.
Although we should be in 2 years if we continue paying down the balance.
WE have had many heart to heart conversations not fun but neccasary.
Combining our accounts a year ago really helped us over all...
hard and not easy though.
bizi

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Donna))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Maybe just a heart to heart conversation with your husband would help.

Is he disabled and unable to work?

Sometimes when the wife is the only one that works, it does a job on a man, or if the woman makes more money than the man, that kills them too.'

Wishing you the best. Keep venting, we are here for you, I know what you mean, just talking about thing helps, like going to the p-doc or therapist, but this form is actually better for me, yet I still go to the others.

Nikko