If you've read my "off meds" thread you know i am tapering off some meds.

This will take several weeks, only the first part.

I NEED TO RESUME KEEPING LOG.

I used to log my moods-meds-sleep-sx-events down to the milligrams and times. included caffeine and still have the excel sheet to do it. all i have to do is fill out one darn line every night. takes 5 minutes. well, ok, with my meds, i have to enter morning as well - another minute - the rule with meds is to log them as soon as i take them and the time. i have shorthands for everything that's why it's so quick.

AND I NEED TO KEEP LOG DURING MY TAPER.

i need a daily monitor of my dosages and times, especially with the prns since, if i feel more anxious etc during this phase, i might change those... also i need to "remember" that stuff. not so much for the doc, for ME. because it will tell me if it is opportune to stop the taper or to drink less coffee...

I NEED TO RESUME MY LOG

I NEED TO LOG MY TAPER.

y'all kick my butt until i start.

thanks.

~ waves ~

You can do it!!!!!


So start asap. -----


Nikko

Dear Waves,
You can log here.
Either way, you have to log.
M.

Dear Waves,
How is the logging going?
How are the moods?

Mari

well, one night i found my old logs, fished out the most recent (yes, i made various attempts at re-starting, after release from the clinic (end 2003). so i had a log with all current meds in it and then some. ok, so then i cleared the data parts. period.

Mari, i actually did consider your suggestion, with great relief , of logging at least meds/moods/SOMETHING here... since at first i couldn't get my excel butt in gear...

but the next night i started fiddling with the columns to hide the old meds, and also filling in recent-ish sx as best i could remember before i forgot. it looked like a mess with data here and there and i was frustrated and confused but at least i got something in there.

after your last post Mari, last night i finally logged a full line, including the X's on my sleepmap. I also *BONUS* split out stuff like alcohol separate from the "other" column. And split illnesses (esp. for neurological (esp migrainous) events for Neuro on Jan 22), which i was stuffing in with mood sx. it makes no difference to how much i have to type because these were not new things. just i have to hit tab in between, lol.

today i haven't taken or logged morning meds yet... it is a continuing struggle to continue lol and make it a habit. that is why so many "false starts" in recent years. so now, i need to keep going...

also i need replicate the form for Jan, so i can fill in the "(self-)prescribed taper" - so i know when to do what. SIGH.

THIS USED TO BE SO SIMPLE... will be when it is "in place" ... ARGHHH this is so HARD right now. maybe because EVERYTHING is hard right now.

i am subscribed to this thread, so i get a kick in the rump/email for every post lol.

Current mood status is safe.

Have had days where a little hypo and labile, but ok now. i think.
Had crying days consistent tho with PMS, holiday desperation this year. i have a huge box full of wrapping/boxing/trimming/everything to wrap things in, and no presents to wrap this year. i bought all that stuff when i was manic. including stuff that i don't know where it is now, but i bought so much it would be like repeat presents lol... so. nothing. so, guilt.

but i'm OK, now. better in fact, after Christmas.

Even though Neurontin per se is not a good stabilizer, SLEEP is a good stabilizer, and i have found that my tolerance for Neurontin sleepwise did not overcome the 900 dose, so it still doubles as a sleep aid, even tho it is doing less for my shoulder (still no more shooting pain down the arm/face though). Funnily, i can take a full 600mg dose during the daytime and it doesn't even phase me. ( i take 15-1800 mg. )

I started having gradually more caffeine on purpose, because in about 4 days i expect activation from suspension of a self-med - so then i can drink less coffee and balance it. i know, sounds crazy but...

Today will be my first day at 100mg zoloft.

... keep throwing me a boot every now and then

~ waves ~ loggin' ... loggin' ... loggin' down the river

Dear Waves,
There was a long period of time that my meds basically did not change. Then in 2004 they started changing again.
You remind me that I need to write down those changes while they are still in memory AND that I need to start a new log -- even if all I do is put in on a big huge-#ss calendar where I keep other notes.

I haven't made a serious effort at Excel but I've had a person or two try to show me how to use it -- not gonna happen. I need something easier.

Please let me know if you figure out a system to get me to use my pill minder. Lately, I've been waiting until late in the day when I am noticing symptoms to take my "morning meds" -- tonight it was well after midnight. The Verapamil is not quick acting, taking a good 1.5-2 hours to calm me.
I'm a moron. I know better.
I also want to start back on my vits and supplements. I stopped them a few months ago because they were too much hassle.

I like that you did not have to start over and were able to build on your old system. You are clever and resourceful.
You probably have a reward coming your way for the work.


This is fabulous. Maybe you deserve to reward yourself for this kind of focused work and renewed effort to nurture yourself this way.

.

I hold tight to my reading once that after doing something 21 times it can become a habit. We can change our chemicals (related to positive food or sleep or exercise) in 14 days.

Three weeks and you have built a new place in your life for this system.
So keep going.

Yes, do what you can. You will find it getting easier. I know that you like to keep your spread sheets (metaphoric as well) in order. You feel more in order. This effort is worth it to your well being now and in the future.

More good news.

The Neurontin so far is a good idea as it seems like your friend right now.

And I think I speak for most people when I say that we agree with you about feeling better after Christmas.

Hubby and I just wrote (at 5:00 am) New Year's cards for 4 of my relatives. We skipped the Christmas card opportunity a while ago and the New Year card mailing is a bit late too but c'est la. New Years cards seem more sincere than Christmas cards in our case.

I hope that the Zoloft dose works.

'Time for bed.
Next goal for self here: work on changing sleep patterns and chemicals.


Mari

Just a quick post to tell you waves that
I think you are doing a great job....
bizi