[befuddled2]

Hi all,

It is midnight here and I have acid reflux really bad. I had to up my Loxatane last night cause I couldn't sleep and slept till 2 this afternoon. I am anxious for tomorrow to get here and for me to see the lawyer in the morning. I need some rest but cannot lay down with this acid reflux. Of course I still may not know anything for a few weeks to see what the lawyer can accomplish if I even have an interest in my husband's estate. Please keep your fingers crossed.

befuddled2

[Mari]

Hi,
Thinking good thoughts.
And I hope that you get some sleep.
M.

[moose53]

Well, sugar, since you're gonna be up anyway, you might as well have something purty to look at:

http://www.heronslair.net/gardens2.html -- I want these people to ADOPT me so I can live here

Here's a little MOOD music to accompany the purty pictures.

BIG HUGS (and love). And suitcases full of money (if it's meant to be).

Barb

[befuddled2]

Thanks Mari.

Barb, do you know my mother-in-law? When my husband use to say he would be down with her Christmas money on Thanksgiving she'd ask him if it would be in a suitcase. LOL I've haven't heard those words since until now. It is sad to think his family is like that and will probably get the suitcases of money. I read some papers and it doesn't look good for me. However, one thing I did read is that the opposing party, has to take into consideration me having enough time to get a job. That may be in my favor because I'm not sure if I will ever be able to work again.

[waves]

Barby baby i am here too with you.

allnighter for me, it's 7.30 here as i write. took my am meds incl first neurontin "with the dregs of our coffee" as someone so aptly pointed out once... what a familiar feeling.

I want to wish you all the best for your meeting with the lawyer. i bet the acid reflux is partly due to all the anxiety that perhaps your tummy is tightening and preducing acid... that can happen with anxiety. i hope you have something to treat the tummy, but what about a prn anxiolytic, do you normally take lorazepam (Ativan) or anything similar? use good sense i saw that you upped your loxapine that's an AP yes, i used to have it "for sleep" as well... kinda surprised it didn't knock out the anxiety but hey, if it didnt it didn't so ......do you have something safe that you can take - a benzo, the amount you'd do for an anxiety attack?

i sure hope somehow you will feel better.

i am thinking, meds shreds, what about having a dry cracker or two, to absorb some of the nasty secretions?

Also, prop some nice pillows up - i hate when i have indigestion and have to try to sleep like that, but then i wake in he middle of the night feeling better tummywise, and settle down horizontal.

when you wake, do some light stretching. stretch your arms up up up, looking straight ahead, back, neck and arms aligned vertically.

And when you go in: Hold your Head High. even if your tummy is still cringing. still, Hold your Head High. you have gone through a lot, you've had to do it on your own, ppl have worked against you, but you have marched steadfastly onwards, and it is thus you WILL get through tomorrow, yes, anxious i know - i would be - i know, but ...

Hold Your Head HIGH.

Phenomenal WOMAN, thats YOU.

~ waves ~ wishing you dignified treatment, and positive, concrete outcome for tomorrow.

[waves]

Originally Posted by moose53

Well, sugar, since you're gonna be up anyway, you might as well have something purty to look at:

http://www.heronslair.net/gardens2.html -- I want these people to ADOPT me so I can live here

WOW these are just beeeeeeautiful photos... an idyllic place, i want these people to adopt my parents so we can all live there....

omg the Neurontin does wiggly things to my screen the lines get like serpents at times

Today (your tomorrow) i will show my mom who has an enormous passion for plants, botanical gardens, botany in general...

~ waves ~ profuse thanks to you i will need breaks between looking up bus schedules for my pdoc appt far away today (like min 3 hours!) it will be so nice to soothe my eyes on these pictures!

[moose53]

WOW, ((((((Waves))))))!!

You've even got me inspired



((((((Barbara)))))),

Just trust and believe that The Universe is guiding your steps to where they need to be next.

Waves is right, you are PHENOMENAL!! Your caring and love will come back to you ten-fold.

I'd say sorry about reminding you about all the EX's, but, I just read something yesterday and I thought of you. I know how WORDS click for you.

I read a lot of blogs and I guess because one refers to another and then to another -- they must have the same interests that I do and that's probably why I keep ending up in familiar places. I've been seeing the Mondo Beyondo EVERYWHERE the past few days -- because of the start of the new year, I suppose.

Another thing that I've been seeing is poetry by Mary Oliver. I know I like her words but I knew nothing about her. So, I looked her up yesterday. She's about the same age as my Brother and my EX. Her poetry is just magic.

These two touched me. I thought they would you, too:

“It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love, there is only an 'on' ramp.”

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

Barbara, you are loved and you are valued and you are treasured. Believe that.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

BIG HUGS.

Barb

[befuddled2]

Waves, I do take Ativan in extreme emergencies because it is expensive. I also have klonopin any other time but that will give me a hangover. So I just took an Ativan. Thank you for the compliment.

This lawyer I'll be seeing in about 8 1/2 hours was recommended to me and that person knows this lawyer in the upper circles. The person who recommended me to this lawyer has told his lawyer a little about the case so far. So I should feel comfortable in that if there's a way this lawyer will see to it.

Barb, I do love those words. Now I think I will lay down and relax.

befuddled2

[waves]

i have a long journey of do-nothing ahead

i slept 1.5 hours lol

here's wishing you the best again - never can have too many wishes even phenomenal ppl like you can always use wishes. i will be thinking of you today all through due to the time difference and will check inwhen i get back!!!

~ waves ~ postive energy your way today!!!

GO Barb! GO Barb! RAH RAH RAH!

[BJ]

Good luck today Barb. I hope the lawyer can help you out and just know we're all pulling for you.

Just wondering, have you tried Gaviscon for reflux? I get reflux really bad and take this and I can actually here it gurgling in my throat. But I spend many nights sleeping in the recliner too because if I lie down it all comes up. But this seems to help.