First, who has read "The Bipolar Handbook" by Wes. Burgess, M.D., Ph.D? If you haven't gotten it, I reccomend you do. Its a GREAT book in Q&A format. This next part is kinda graphic tho so read at your own discression.

I was just reading through it again and came across a question that referrs to "horror movie halucinations". I had this 2 1/2 years ago and my psych. (not the one I'm having now) told me I was just stressed!!! She gave me celexa and that's it. What it was was I'd have vivid visions of maiming people- tearing out their spines, blood, banging their heads on the ground. The book says it is as if these things are superimposed on what we see as real life- I would agree. But I also felt very scared and dysphoric with the world because these "movies" played all of their own and I could not stop them. It was not a hallucination exactly, but like walking through a world where I and/or others were tearing, beating, choking each other extremely vividly. My god... and my PSYCH. didn't diagnose me at bipolar back then when I was scared I was going insane!!!! Similar things happened with my kids and crushing their skulls with my bare hands when my now-5-year-old was a newborn.

I have not read the book.
I think that must have been so scarey to have those images running thru your mind.
How frieghtening....
how did they eventually go away?

also wanted to let you know that we try to mark our posts with the yellow caution sign and say something about a possible trigger warning at the start of the post...like you did....
hope the trazadone helps you to sleep.
bizi

I am not sure how they went away. I'd had them several times though. They started me on Celexa the day of the last one back in Feb. 05. One person even suggested I needed anti-psychotics. I remember talking to myself- arguing- saying "Its okay to kill people... No it isn't... sure it is. Simple. Easy.... Its against the law.... So?" etc. WHY did my psych. at that time not diagnose me as anything but "stressed"?! She did put me on Celexa but still.

Ok- I will try to post a warning sign next time and make a red "warning" so it is clear.

Anyway. Sleepy time!

this dang computer can be so addicting...I see you are still up....
I was on here so late last night...ended up signing onto a computer survey thingy that seemed to never quit...and now I have 50 emails from junk that I did nyself....why did I do this!!!!!
now I am going to have to think about changing my email address...the worst part is that I actually gave them all my work phone number....
~sigh
bizi

Nathan
Was it possible to have been a medication? I had the same effect wehn started on Paxil and then Prozac, or visa versa. I had horrific maiming, murderous things happeing to me and my family in vived color. In fact when i told the doctor about the dreams, he said were they graphic horror movie types...
A side effect to some folks he said and took me down and then off them.
I hope you can reslove it, it is a terrible way to spend a night.
Dianne

Hi Dianne,

No, because they happened before I was on any meds.

The book says they are part of being bipolar, too.

P.S. Only six days to your Orlando vacation!?!? Where are you going? Disney? I'm jealous! (Especially since the cold weather has moved in here.)

Yes well I had to force myself to stay awake for those couple minutes I typed that out (I typed very quickly) and literally when I stood up to go to the bathroom, I stumbled there and on the way back nearly fell into bed- literally. That pill was sleep-inducing, alright! Wow. It is supposed to compliment anti-depressants.

Not being diagnosed as BP II for such a long time in my life was awful, they just kept saying it was severe chronic depression, which is a part of it.

Finally, when I moved to the SW, I got properly diagnosed. At first I was amazed, scared, and didn't want to believe it.

Then after being on Lamictal (mood stablizer) Klonapin (anxiety) and Cymbalta (depression) and Trazadone (insomnia) everything changed, I could see that there was the old me and the new me. I so wish they had diagnosed me earlier in life, I feel, I know I would of done things differently. i still have my triggers and stress, but I handle them better and in a different way.

I tried a few times going off a med or two, and boom, bad idea, the old me was coming back. Won't do that again.

It's a damn shame we don't get diagnosed properly in the beginning. I think now BP is being more reconized, which is good.

Just my 2 cents, Hugs, Nikko

Hi Nathan,
I saw you didn't say you were on any meds. The stress can do it too. The brain never shuts off, and the bi-polar part I would think could makes things so much more vivid.

I hope tht you can reslove it and find a peaceful nights sleep. I tried doing tummy breathing before bed; instead of the tight chest breathing from stress, I would feel the low tummy rise up and down. not the rib cage, low....
For ten minutes twice a day, onece right before bedtime.

Yes the trip will be here soon, I hope my daughter holds out physically and mentally. She goes over the iteniary daily now as we update. We are going to go to Disney one day, Universal, and the beach. Then the water area of Disney.

But, I ahve to watch her exposure to sun. She almost lost ehr life in a battle witha super infection this winter. She has a graft site on her under forearm, and donor site from the thigh. She is depressed of weight gain too from many med's for the chronic pain condition.

But ecited we are for the warm weather, today it was 30 when I got up and only 50 for a high today....
Suna dn warmth are welcome here, also the take me away to fantasy that Disney brings.
Di

Hi all,

New to the group here.......I saw several horror movies with "clowns" in them when I was a kid in the 80s, and now I have MANY flashes of them hurting people I love......it is consuming my life.....and also thoughts of making peoples heads explode with my mind, stabbing people........and the "yes no, yes no" thing....please, how can I make it stop?