Wes is manic. Mean little gremlin. How do I do this? He can't see or feel the mania. He just knows we all **** him off to no end.

This sounds terrible, and please forgive me, but I want to give him away right this second. I am just not able to cope right now. It's all been too much and I can't do this right now. I am tired. I am not feeling well.

And I am emotionally spent.

I just wanna bawl. How selfish is that? God, I feel like such a terrible parent. I really want him to be somewhere else right now.

sigh.

How do I pull myself together? I gotta keep going, but this is just more than I can handle right now. Too many other things that are putting me on emotional over load.

Sorry for being gone so long. It's just rough at my house lately.