*Sigh* a few months ago I decided to stop using the Cpap, I'd say more like six months ago...At least five, but it could be six, I didn't write it down so I can't recall. Anyway I have been sleeping badly and I know you're all going to ask "Why did you stop?" Thing is I think it was my own fault for not looking into it better, I got a large nasal mask and it was pushing on my teeth something fierce and it made my face ache but as it was my first time getting one I wanted a large like I had used at the sleep study, little did I know I am probably more of a medium, maybe even a small...

So I was put off using it and slowly my sleep got worse and worse and now I am really having a rough time sleeping. So tonight I got everything out, cleaned it and am setting it up again for the first time this year. I called today about a replacement so I can get another but in the RIGHT size...AND I can get replacement masks every three months so I am going to do just that. I was pretty impressed with the medical supplier's attitude and willingness to work with me and get here before my son gets home from school and get this, they can come out day after tomorrow!

As you can see I am pretty desperate to get a good night's sleep again and I need to get my crap together and KEEP using this machine for my own good. I know it sure as I am sitting here that it DOES help with all kinds of things. I was getting depressed and sad again but that changed a month ago when we got a baby turtle. I just love him! And it's done wonders for my spirits, I feel so uplifted just watching the little guy swimming around and doing his thing, it's amazing! I am really okay in spite of the poor sleeping patterns, like today my son got up and I had to get up with him at 5AM. Just awful and no matter how much coffee I drink I am still tired all day. I have to say his doing that this morning is part of what motivated me to call the supplier and to get everything out again. I hate feeling this way!

At least I don't have long to wait eh? I haev been wanting to make that call for weeks and today something triggered it so in a way it was good Jackie got me up at 5AM. It got my motivation up and kicking my backside! Sometimes we all need a kick in the backside and it's always best to do it yourself rather then let someone else do it for you because that is another story...Not motivating for me at least, and I doubt it motivates anyone here to be kicking by someone else. My eyes are closing but I have to wait for an hour more at least before getting to hit the hay, I will post tomorrow and let you all know how it went using the machine. Towards the end of the time I was using it still I began taking it off around three am due to pain in my face and teeth. Hopefully that won't happen tonight.