Hello,

What are you doing lately?


I started feeling anxious last night. I think it is from the reduction of Klonopin 2 weeks ago. I took a little extra last night and will do the same today.

In a few minutes hubby and I have to go see the tdoc. I have been sleeping weird -- going to bed at 8:00 am.


M

Hi all!!!

Looks like another weekend of bathroom construction around here and me avoiding everyone involved.


Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!!!

Abbie

Hi mari andabbie,
mari, I still think you went to fast on the taper...you are very sensitive to meds
hope that you and hubby worked well with the therapist visit.
abbie, hang in there sweetie...that bathroom has to be done soon.
bizi

I'm hanging in there. I feel unsettled,and feel like I've done something wrong,I'm worried about my family,anxious,tired,lonely,and rejected.

This is normal for me. I hope to get on medications that will relieve some of these discomforts when I go to a new physiatrist. I also hope to get a actual diagnosis of my emotional disorder.

I've heard different things over the years,and I don't know what my disorder is. All I know is that I have multiple emotional disorders that continually haunt me if I'm not being comforted,or accepted.

It all started with panic attacks,and a feeling like a dark cloud had moved over me,and strangled all of the life giving thoughts,feelings,light of life,and I froze up with terror. I felt like waves of this would come upon me at times. It's hard to explain,and no one understood.

This made my parents very unhappy,but I didn't want to, or mean to do that. I just didn't know what was happening to me. It keeps changing through the years. My social worker made me feel guilty for being late sometimes to my sisters house. I feel this guilty feeling that I cannot get out of my head now.

As I think about what she said,she doesn't know the long term affects that these emotional disorders have taken toll on me. I'm tired of it all,and they keep misunderstanding my circumstances.

I haven't gone into a manic emotional crash in three days now. BF

Waiting on paint, trim work, and towel bars....
everything else is done...

it's just too much chaos for me.... my anxiety is high and my patience is low!!!


Abbie

I had a panic attack, today, but thank goodness it wasn't during the bad time. I had to pick my grandmother off the ground this afternoon and take her to the ER. She fractured her pelvis and has a UTI, so I'm really not in good shape this weekend. I also had a huge lotto scratch off spending spree last night, so over all not a good weekend.

oh....
fractured pelvises hurt.
ohhhhh...ouch!
Glad that she had you to help her.
watched the golden compass tonight...really enjoyed this movie!
bizi

My 14, soon to be 15 year old son came down Friday night. He, my wife and I spent the day at the Bronx Zoo which was fun. (in all my years here I've never been...)

We bought a membership which includes the NY Aquarium, so we might go over there tomorrow.

It is nice having him come down. It can be a little stressful because there is a lot of very complicated tension involving his mother, my mother, my wife and just a whole lotta junk... he's a sweet young man but has some attention/impulsivity issues and can sometimes really test my wife's patience... when she starts to get short I get protective and it is just a rough chain of events... but we are talking about it... I'm learning to express these kind of things in a calm and rational way which makes the communication so much easier... we are all reasonable people so I guess that is main thing.

Mari I mis hearing from you. I don't hear from Bobby either. I haven't heard from Bizi very much. Have I said anything wrong? I'm feeling alone all of a sudden. BF

Dear Friend,

I'm here.

I've started a vegan diet that my tdoc wants me on. She even recruited hubby to cook vegan meals for me.
I guess that makes sense: If he is the main cook around here and I am going to eat vegan, then she and I have to help him with recipes.

I was sort of triggered myself the other day and got upset about a couple of things. I sort of "detoxed" myself by going to the gym and sweating in the sauna.
Then the gym closed and I wanted more. So just a few minutes ago I finished a very hot 30 minute bath with magnesium salts.

Now I have to move the laundry from the washing machine to the dryer and then go to bed.

I don't know why I put off the bath until so late. .. . but I do feel better now.


How are you feeling?

Mari