Dear Friends,

I know this sounds like a dumb problem to have but it feels big enough to me.

Hubby wants to buy a brand new car for me rather than put money into the car I presently have.

Current car:
-1997 Geo Prism about 84,000 miles (not exactly sure on the milage)
-is due for regular maintenace like oil change and stuff
-needs air bags checked and prob replaced because car is old
-car looks lke crap because paint is pealing --crappy job from manufacturer, but then the car lives in the FL sun
-car needs bumper and alignment repair due to fender bend I had in parking lot in April -- (1,000.00 deductable on insurance)
-car needs new driver side seat belt (2nd time) because it doesn't work right anymore -- past few weeks/month
-car is starting to need a few other preventative maintenance due to its mileage.


Hubby cares a lot and is digging his feet in. He wants to buy a brand new car for me because he doesn't like putting money into old cars.
He'd rather make monthly payments forever.


I will buy a stupid car under two conditions:
1. He has to start being nice to me. I am tire of his grouchiness. (yeah, I am grouchy too but it is different -- I try not to direct it at him)
2. If he makes me drive a new car, then I am going to call my old cleaning lady I had before I got married.
This apt. is messy and dirty.
I am going to be firm about both conditions.



Maybe I will delete this later. It sounds like dumb problem to have.
But I'm crying over this.


I'll be embarrassed driving a new car. It seems dumb to spend money. We both work hard.
Also, I like driving an old car that no one wants to steal -- had a buick once that was stolen three times (long story).

Beyond that I don't care too much.
I think that we are going to do this his way because he is being waaaaaaay stubborn.

And since I care about safety, most newer cars with have more safety features that the geo 97 does -- so that is the only good thing about the new car.

Mostly, I don't like being forced to deal with change.
I reallize that I must be depressed if I am seeing this as a problem.
Man, I have not felt good for a long time.
Here I am crying about getting a new car.

We would probably get Honda civic because he likes Hondas. I'll get a car with no extras and let him make the freaking payments -- maybe even get the car in his name.
I'm used to driving GM cars. Did I say that I don't like change?


M.



Last night I took a bath (a big deal since I hate to wash) and got water all over the floor. Hubby made a big deal about it and got p!ssy EVEN THOUGH I cleaned up the water and washed and dried the floor mats.

I miss my old car, but like your hubby Jack didn't want to put any money into my old car, and so I sold it for $200, and am driving his 1999 car. I really love it but it makes me so freaking nervous, I am always afraid it's going to get stolen whenever I go out. It's a great ride but still I am afraid it makes me a target for car jacking. At least we're living in a more rural area of Florida, not like we were in Clearwater, THERE I would be freaked out all the time about it.

I know how it feels to not be able to come to an understanding with your spouse Mari, it stinks and I cry about it too. If they could just TRY to be more understanding about our having a problem, AKA Bipolar II. It would sure go a long way to smoothing things out between us. He doesn't think the BP II has anything to do with my anxiety or that I make stupid mistakes because of it. Don't feel alone in this boat Mari, I am right there with you.

Hello,
He talked over the car thing with 2 people at work.
The vote was to avoid a new car payment if at all possible.
Also, to find out how much the repairs will be.

M.

I had a 96 Winstar. It had about your mileage.

My husband started to nag me 2 yrs ago to get a new car.
It was 10yrs old etc.

I thought I could squeak out another year or two.
I liked my car --- he hated it---

So on the way home from our summer home, a 400+ mile drive 2 yrs ago, unbeknownst to me, my brake lines had rotted out,
and I was driving with NO BRAKES. I had 3 cats in the car, and preceded him home by about 4 hrs (he has to put up shutters for winter and do the water line etc.)

I decided to drive home straight with NO stops. This was for me and the girls, since they hate the trip.

When I pulled up to the house, I didn't notice anything. But what was happening, is that brake fluid was leaking out.

An hour later I decided to go to the grocery store, to get some food (the house was empty)... I backed out, and discovered I had NO BRAKES. I pumped them a bit and got parked again.
By now it was dark and the street was wet from rain. I looked under the hood, and the levels seemed okay.

So I didn't drive it. The next day we saw my "trail" from the highway to the house!

I took it to the dealer=== $2000 to fix. I had it towed to an independent place.... $ 2000 to fix minimum.

So right then I was forced to get a new car. I bought a new
Toyota minivan, and it was the BIL of the salesman who wanted to fix it up so I could use it in trade... wouldn't work that way either. So I donated it to a charity. (and took the deduction on my taxes).
The independent repair place said American cars have STEEL lines and they corrode out, eventually. When this happens the cost is HUGE... and never mind the RISK to your safety.

I think I just missed a terrible accident....so if your car is that old...but not with high mileage, consider rusting out.

Now I have a new car, and I do like it. I learned my lesson!

We like older cars too but we work on our own vehicles - rest of extended family gets new cars cause they don't like work on theirs.

I think getting the estimates for the repairs you need and see how much it adds up too is a great idea...
plus there is the savings on car ins by only having to carry a minimum policy.

But do the math and take a look at both options.

my car is 84 Volvo nice condition 350,000 miles {we changed the motor at 300,000} but even if we spend 1000 a year on it which we don't LOL it is wayyy cheaper than monthly car payments.
But we do regular maintenance and can tell by look or sound if something is going wrong.

I wish they woulds have classes in high school for all kids to learn the basics of auto maintenance.

is there any way you can compromise and get a used car? or is that too risky to be taken to the cleaners. even though i never owned a car i know any change for us is a huge deal. my sort of new coffee maker broke and it is still bothering me. I am even afraid of getting a new one.
I am sorry your husband is being grouchy.that is another huge trigger for me.
Bobby

Maybe he is not the grouchy one. Maybe I am.
I almost couldn't stand my own self today.

A few minutes ago I figured out why I have been annoyed and out of sorts the past couple days -- my extended family on my mother's side was making arrangements and then attending funeral services for a dear husband of my aunt. Lots of people traveling. My aunt had to travel by car a long distance to get back to her home town and her siblings and some of her children.

My sis and I did not travel, but we have been on the phone with a bunch of aunts and have been hearing about the logistics of getting everybody together. (My sis and I are involved because my parents were in the middle of a vacation. We had to track them down to get them the word.) And the aunts, who all seem to have a touch of OCD with control issues, were concerned about my mother's whereabouts.


Some of the family BS came out although everyone does seem to be on their best behavior.


Also, I realize again that I am still annoyed at my mother -- for being who she is.

Gosh. I need to get a grip.
Tomorrow is the funeral mass of my uncle.
Maybe I will feel more settled down after that.

And I need to find a way to get over my issues with my mother.
I'd like to live some of my own life.
I don't have to be annoyed at my mother all the time.



M.

I have one key to my car. (long story)
It is a copy of a copy.

I'm not in the mood to put up with hassles from the dealership.
Get me a set of proper keys and let me go home

M.

Dear Mari,
I jsut got caught up with your thread.
UGH!
I hate having conflict....
I jsut hate it....
I too am so resistant to change...will go on ebay to try to find the item I want that is 30 years old....
The honda insight that I drive now is jsut like the old honda crx that I drove before...the inside is exactly the same!
If I could find an old honda crx again I think I would buy it....they stopped making them in 1991.
lol
You have a lot of upsetting things happening to you all at once...this sounds very stressful.
It sounds like your car does need several things done to it...and I would figure out the cost and go from there....no body says they have to be done all at once...jstu the important things.
I have always heard that it is cheaper to fix a car than buy a new one.
Cars are not investments, they depreciate 10% jsut driving them off the lot.
IMO fix your car....maybe you could get a new paint job?
anyway....
YOu have a cell phone? road side assistance?
New cars break down a lot too.
I don't have a car payment any more so am really glad about that!
I will drive this car another 5 years at least.
The battery pack has already been replaced under warrenty still tahnk goodness and has a nother 5 years left to that warrenty. So then after that....it would cost $6K to replace the battery pack.

But at $4 a gallon gas these days....
I will take better gas milage.
A honda civic would get 35-40 miles per gallon.
bizi

Hi,
My car has been in the shop since Tuesday. We got it back today.

They said that fixing the bumper was not necessary because it was only cosmetic.

They had to order parts for the seat belt and a tie rod.
They also did some preventative stuff.

The car is nice and I am happy.

M.