[Pamster]

Hey everyone,

Things are okay here, I saw there was no weekend check in thread yet so here one is ready to go. Hope everyone has a great weekend, we're looking at more rain but that's okay, we really need it here.

[bizi]

WE just got an inch and a half of rain, we too needed it...nothing like what the mid west has been getting this past week.
Had a family day at one of the assisted living places today.
Provided mini manicures for them....it was fun!
I love working with the elderly!
bizi

[Dmom3005]

Rain, rain rain go visit Pam and bizi we don't need you. Our fields are already under water. And our siren's go off plenty.

Derrick doesn't want his pool party ruined for tomorrow so you can stay
as long as you like tonight. But please bring the nice weather you promised tomorrow.

I'm having a wet week, and a really wet spring and summer. But other wise, it can be okay. But tomorrow it better be bright and sunny.

donna

[Pamster]

I did that when I was in beauty college bizi! You're right it's a lot of fun to polish the older women's nails and make them feel pretty again. I wish we could have done it more then the one time.

Well Jackie broke my computer, he slammed his heavy car box, (die cast metal hotwheels cars) right next to my computer's tower and we're certain it scratched the hard drive somehow, Jack has been working on it for hours already so I am on my old one which was all set up for Jackie only he uses mine so it's been sitting here unused.

That relative who is dying probably won't last the weekend, and there's nothing we can do. So this coupled with the breaking down on my computer and I am feeling more then just a little depressed.

I wish Jackie would be a little more conscientious about his actions but he's so oblivious to everything, sometimes purposely, you can just see it in his eyes, the little michievious imp expression he gets, that you just know to watch him because he's up to no good. I was at the store when this happened to the computer and with summer in full swing it's really a shame we don't already have the trike for him to use some energy up on.

Going out with Mother tomorrow and hopefully have a nice day. We usually do enjoy our Saturdays. She is helpless to affect Jackie's behavior as I am, only Jack has any pull with this kiddo. It's awful, to feel like a unpaid servant you know? I burned onions the other night and it was a HUGE blow up, went to bed crying and couldn't use my cpap because I knew how mad Jack was. Yes over onions...I don't understand why I am such a bad cook, I try, and he then told me my eggs were BURNT and they tasted like crap and I was feeling more confident about them, only to hear that truth coming out after I upset him with burnt onions.

I just feel like numb about things right now, sad about losing Grandfather, that he had to go in this horrible way so rapidly, suffering the entire time. Sad about Jackie, thinking he will never have all the comprehension he could have had I decided back then he was too young for all those damned vaccines, I harbor a lot of guilt over that. And it's been so tiring just getting up out of bed without having used the Cpap, I have been going to bed crying about Grandfather, so I can't breathe out of my nose right so I can't use the machine to rest deeply enough that I wake up refreshed.

So many things....*sigh* Things I didn't want to post about in my opening post because I had to deal with Jackie and the pool out back, but I wanted to start the Friday Check-In thread since I saw none here this morning. Hope you're all doing well, I know things will get better soon, so like I tell others, I am doing it, hanging in there....

Hope things get better there soon Donna, wet weather scares me stiff....even so I recognize we do need it, I just don't have to drive in it or LIKE it....Good luck with tomorrow!

[Mari]

Dear Pam,
It's not your fault.
It's most likely not about the vaccines. And even if it were, you did the best you could. I worry when people I care about feel guilty.

It sounds like you had a full day. I can't cook and don't even try. Whatever food you produce and serve is a gift to your family. If they don't appreciate it, that's sad, but it does not diminish your nurturing goddess.

'Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Do you have a good story you would be willing to share about him from when he was younger?

M.


Here's a an article that talks about the genetic component of A coming together in the first trimester of pg:
Key to Early Diagnosis of Autism May be in the Placenta
http://opa.yale.edu/news/article.aspx?id=1766

also
http://autism.about.com/od/whatisaut...tismcauses.htm

[Pamster]

I wish I did, he's actually Jack's grandfather, but he and the rest of Jack's family accepted me whole heartedly, and having lost my own grandfather earlier in life I came to love this wonderful man like he was my grandfather too. They all are good people. I really ache for Jack and his father right now, but all I can do is pray for him, that his suffering won't continue for much longer.

You really don't think it was vaccine related? I mean he had been talking and stuff and then around 18-19 months when he got like four in one day he changed. No longer made eye contact, no more "Mama, Dada, Buba" and had a fever along with diahrhea, and when I called the Dr office, they said to give him pedalite and tylenol.

Thanks for the links Mari. I'll read over them if I am sure my computer is stable, right now it's acting fine, but I think we're going to have to reformat and deal with it today. I hope things get better here soon, I mean Jackie's NOT being that bad considering how he used to be, I think the increase in his risperdal we did last time has helped him to slow down enough that he's able to overcome some of those urges to hurt me or his father. Though he still is biting, choking and shoving my chair at me when I am in the bathroom. *sigh*

Thanks for caring Mari, how are you doing these days?