It took me years to accept that I was bipolar. a couple of my counselors did not believe I was either....lets just say that it is hard to deny this when we wind up in the hospital...
I am glad that you are a survivor...
I too worry about your meds...like mari said...some folks have to be weaned off their antidepressants...you still sound hypomanic to me....and that is not elation....it is the agitated, anxious, moving , head talk kind that is very upsetting to go thru....been there done that.
I am sorry that this is so frustrating for you and it will take lots of communication to adjust the meds and it will also take time.
so be patient with yourself and know that you are moving in the right direction.
I am going to bump up a thread for you about mixed mania, dysphoric.
bizi

Thank you Mari for the mood journal and helping explain how to use it. Right now I have nothing written down except vroooom because that’s what my mind feels like…a racing car for lack of a better word.

Bizi thanks for the info on hypo mania. This is all so new to me and I never heard any of these terms but now I’m learning some of what is going on inside and I hate it. I’m always thinking okay I’m I on the verge of another episode? How long will it last and when will I hit bottom and go into that hole?

I tried the combo I’m on today thinking I need to adjust and I couldn’t even concentrate enough to stay at work. I haven’t been able to tell anyone and it’s eating inside me too. If I can’t get some sleep and shut my mind down I’m calling first thing in the morning. I was just going to stop the Effexor but I’m afraid to. I’m not sure if it’s helping or hurting but one of them is wrecking havoc in here.

Thanks again.

Dear BP,
Please don't stop the Effexor without calling your pdoc's office and talking about it. I am pretty sure that it has to be tapered. Stopping abruptly can cause difficult side effects in some people.

Telephone the pdoc. He/She is repsonsible for you. He did not give you meds and then leave you on your own. He KNOWS that you are going to need adjustments but he doesn't know what adjustments unless you call him.
Print out your posts here and read them to him on the phone. He needs to know so that he can make some changes.

No one I ever heard of got the right med regime the first time they were in the pdoc's office. It can take a couple of years in fact.

The more frequent your contacts with the podc and the more specific you can be about your condition (mood charts), the better chance you will get good meds.


Keep posting. I hope that you get some sleep. Can you go buy Benedryl? Then leave a message with the pdoc's office that you bought some.
That does not generally infterfere with our meds and helps some people feel sleepy. (it makes me jumpy after the second nigtht but I can get away with taking it once or twice and getting some benefit from it.)

But better to call the pdoc than to go look for stuff to add to the mix.

Good luck.
Mari