Here I am lying in bed on my blackberry and feeling upset. That's usually how I feel, ill just have random bouts of going from okay to wanting to cry or just being sad/confused/lost/unhappy and it really draind me. The only time I'm happy is when I'm asleep or thinking about Disney or doing something with Mike.

My car is currently broken which doesn't help my helpless feelings. Now more then ever I feel like I can't do anything on my own. My car made me feel independent and it was my escape. If I was upset I would go and sit in my car abd listen to music but not go anywhere because I'm terrified of driving but I think not having a car scares me more because I hate the idea of being stuck somewhere. I like my car to be able to leave when I want not be aty the mercy of whoevers driving I get really anxious when I don't have control over myself. I don't like having to ask to leave I feel trapped and like a prisoner. I just want to be okay.

Meg

Not sure what exactly is wrong with your car. But for one thing, if sitting
in it helps the feeling of not having control. Even when your not going anywhere. Why don't you find a radio and just take it outside with you and sit in the car. I realize it doesn't seem the same. But you weren't driving
it anyway when you were having these moments.

Next try to think of some things you could trade someone for a ride to things you really enjoy going to. Say is you enjoy cooking. Maybe a cake for rides to a specific activity for a month. Just stop and be creative with your thoughts.

Donna

Still no car.
Feeling mentally defeated always.

I can't do this much longer.

meg, I am sorry this is so hard on you right now.
tell us what is going on...
Have you tried seeing a new therapist yet?
What about more hours or a different cvs, to get health insurance.
have you looked into community resources available to see someone on a sliding scale, you could really use a good therapist, you seem to be struggling so.
wish it were easier for you.
keep posting, we are hear to listen.
beth

my car is back.
my life is turned upside down.
work still hasn't given me insurance and im full time now.
i miss my NT family.

Dear Meg,It is good to see you again.
How have you been?
M.

Yesterday I get the news my dad might lose his job to his company hiring out a cheaper company. This directly affects everyone in my household because Dad is the breadwinner (mom helps but uses her money on things that dont help the household in general - beer,'groceries' which consists of chips, bread, and beer for her, scratch tickets and the newspaper)

I feel like if Dad does lose his job, I will feel responsible to take care of him.


and i still dont have health insurance

Im going to Florida in 12 days. I'm hoping this vacation will help everything I've been dealing with and give me the much needed 'get away' I've been searching for.

I really hope this trip makes everything okay for a while.

Meg, how is the family, is you Dad's job OK. DH lost his and I got one very part time. One week 30 hours at $15 an hour time and half after 6 pm, the next week, 5 hours. I feel your frustration.

With all the stimulas money now, can you or would you want to try a short certification type course in something?

I am sure that DIsney will be a blast, good and bad too...it is hot, stressed long tiring days. keep your cool literally. I took a spray bottle and kept myself wet. An extra change of socks or sandles.

They have free water where ever you ask. I take the powder you add to water bottles for a cool drink.
If you get to down town Disney there is a great place called the Earl Of Sandwhich, inexpensive and filling great food.

Get fast pass for everything you can....If the crowds are making you anxious and on edge, you can go to the Town hall and explain, they will give you a pass to wait in a quieter area, shaded with less body on body contact. That was difficult for me. That is why the fast passes helped.

HAVE A BLAST

di

Dear Meg,
DiMarie is going to Disney too.
Read her post:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread86866.html

It looks like you two will not be there on the same days -- She might be back by the time you leave.

M.