I hugged Ann goodbye even though she said it was against clinic policy. We laughed a lot..especially at my self destructiveness. I will miss her. She told me that most clients see Dr.M once a month or every other month and I see him every other week. I am looking foward to my new therapist Kathryn. She supposedly has a sense of humor. Also one of the fellows I was talking to who is a muscian and was shot seven times and got out of prison after 15 years last year and who is bipolar II and who just signed a 1 and half million record contract sees her and said she was wonderful. He seemed very complex and wouldn't put up with any sh@t.
My sleep is totally ridiculous. I am racing and have been too impatient to write. Too impatient to do anything except keep the tv on. My friend pushed too hard on the show and gave me too much pressure. In the end she told me not to go because she saw how upset I was getting. I was so happy I went. I WAS GLAD TO BE ALIVE....my friend John noted that was a rare feeling for me. Today she agreed with me that most plays weren't worth sitting through. At first she wondered if my email was true when I described how hearing Paulo Szot was a performance of a life time. I keep on going back to you tube to listen to that song.
It is nice to hear that you walk out of movies rather than punish yourself.
I hope your husband's burn is much better.
Bobby

poor Bizi
what a time you must have had. I don't get that way. I am bipolar II and never have been psychotic. I have more trouble sleeping and grow more restless and grow more tired. I don't have any patience and my mind races.
I can still be depressed. I smoke more and eat more. I grow more uncomfortable. I isolate even more because I don't have the patience to talk or listen much. Right now I might try to read because I can't seem to fall asleep. I already took two little naps and today I was exhausted. I get into a rut.
Bobby

Dear Bobby
Not sleeping is a killer. What do you think you could do about your current situation? What would you recommend if someone else was dealing with the same? You always give great encouragement and advice, you can figure out what needs to be done!
How are the kittys?
((((hugs)))
Bobi

hi bobby,
I remebered you were bipolar 2, I guess I just wanted to share with you what it is like for me.
also was saying that hypo mania doesn't neccessarily mean you are in trouble.
One can be very creative and functioning and hypo manic.
What do you want to do now/
The not sleeping is the worst.
Have you tried to get into a routine about bed time, good sleep hygiene?
all of the regular suggestions to improve your sleep.
when do you see your Dr. M again.
can't remeber if you have ever tried any of the atypicals to help you sleep?
seroquel or geodon or even ambien or lunesta?
I hope that you are feeling better soon.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I tried five different medications in the past to help me sleep and they didn't help. Part of the problem is I grow restless and bored and just can't lay down and listen to music and hopefully fall asleep. I don't want to drug myself up because that is so frustrating feeling drugged. I stopped listening to tv for a year and a half and just read. That didn't work. I think I stayed up even later. Now I am back to watching tv again and then taking a nap but then waking up in an hour or so and reading and feeling lousy in the morning.
I don't know what advice to give since I have tried so many things. It really destroys ones quality of life.
the kitty cats are fine.
Thank you for asking
Bobby
ps if I come up with anything, I will SHOUT IT!

That really stinks Bobby. I'm sorry.
Insomnia has got to be the worst thing in the world. When it comes to not sleeping there just isnt a work around or alternative for it. You don't sleep and its a domino affect in every other aspect of your life. I hate it too.

You say you are bored. Have you considered trying something totally new that you have an interest in but have never done? Maybe a craft that you could start working on and give as gifts for christmas? Maybe what you need is just a change in routine that wont add stress to you, or take a whole lot of effort. Is there an animal shelter close that you could spend the day at helping to feed or cuddle? Or is that something you would enjoy?

Maybe I'm totally off. (sorry if I am) I just know that the entirely same routine kills me after awhile. I have to throw something lowkey and new in the mix once in awhile to keep myself semi sane.

I get bored or restless usually late at night and that is when I might start reading again. I also read during the day. I once tried volunteer work with dogs but that didn't work out. You had to clean your hands with an antiseptic and my hands really broke out. I also got really upset for the poor dogs stuck in the shelter. I wasn't a happy camper. I am also so tired during the day that it would be too stressful signing up for working with children and then worrying that I might not have gotten any sleep the night before. It is a vicious cycle.
Bobby

I am not agoraphobic(sp) but I also have trouble leaving my apartment. I was like this twenty years ago and then when I got my dogs I was forced to go out and broke out of it. I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch two weeks ago and cancelled. I told her I was too tired. I worry about going to my psychiatrist's and therapy sessions. I get lonely but then a lot of times when the housekeeper comes I can't wait until she leaves. Lately a lot of the time I don't feel like talking to anyone. I am just too tired and easily triggered.
I am a mess.
Bobby

I am sorry that you are feeling this way....
Have you ever had a sleep study done before?
yes I agree with bobi insomnia is the worst...
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I have never had a sleep study...I don't think it would help. When I finally get too exhausted I sleep
Bobby