Bizi,
We are not responsible for other people.
As you know, I struggle with this too.
And we do not need to compare ourselves to Christ.

I do struggle with feeling responsible and I need to let that go.
I don't think that is the same thing as quilt.
I also struggle with control -- but less so now that I used to.
I used to feel a need to have some say in other people's lives. Now I am too worn out for that. Let them manage.


First of all, I believe that those of us with BP (and other stuff that comes with it) should be given more of a free ride than normies. And if they don't want to give the free ride, then we should should take it. I help people in ways that I can. Sometimes, that means I pray for them. That's the best I can do most times.

If a job or a task or a person is interfering with my ability to get well, then later for them.

This is one way I look at it: if doing those things you don't like with that person helped send you over the edge, could you call upon that person later for meaningful help?

I go out of my way for hubby sometimes (not always) even if I am not up to. But I know that afterwards, he can help me and he will.

But I try (stilling learning) not to go out of my way for something / someone that can't recipricate. I only have so much of me to go around and I need to spend that focus and that energy on hubby and me.
My world is thus very small.
But my stabilty is fragile.
I want to live.
That is my goal.
When I do something I think about how that particular task will help me stay alive.

I really don't think that most normies live this close to how much work it takes to stay alive.

Ok. This is not making sense.
I'm not ok.
But I did want to post.

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I think that guilt is very hard to UN-learn and we are taught it in childhood. I don't have much guilt. I am thankful for that.
So I have no suggestions on how to free oneself of guilt.
Mari